4 Idiots In A Closet
by Nayru-chan
Summary: If Kaito knew, getting himself shot would lead to such unexpected events, he'd let himself get shot earlier. [Gosho Boys Friendship/Best Friends/Bromance/Epic Bromance/Brotp/Angst/Humor/Crack]
1. An artist and his critic

**Nayru's Note:** I am one of those people who started watching Detective Conan like ages ago and then for some reason stopped, forgetting about the series' existence for a few years, and then discovered it anew. I've practically marathon-ed the whole anime from start in the last 2 months (currently 760 episodes), wondering why I stopped watching it before, because it's still as awesome as I remembered it being and it brings me joy and a lot of feelings none of my friends seem to understand (besides one who's also watched the series on the German TV those few years back - much love for you, Karyś, for understanding my fangirl flails. :D)

I am back and I am obsessed. This fandom needs more love. For a series that's been running for almost 20 years, I was actually surprised to find out that it doesn't have that many fics. Hence why I wanted to contribute. And the ideas just didn't let me sleep at night. So there.

Kaito's, Shinichi's, Heiji's and Hakuba's interactions with one another (in whatever combination) are giving me the biggest amount of feels, and I couldn't stop wondering how awesome their relationship(s) would look like had they become actual friends. This will be a story in which I will try my best to explore that. Whether this will turn into anything shippy is still to be decided - for now it's all about the epic bromance.

I consider the DC movies to be canon. (So Kid knows for granted that Conan is Shinichi.) Because seriously. The Lost Ship in the Sky (the 14th one) is a goddamn masterpiece. If you haven't watched it yet, then what are you even doing here?

The Gosho Boys make the world go round! /o/

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><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 01: An artist and his critic, the best partners in crime around?<strong>

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><p>The curtains were drawn over the windows, blocking out a big portion of the sunlight. Conan stared blankly at one of the pages from the book he was currently trying to read, not really registering the lines of letters. He was at the Kudo residence, sitting in a comfy armchair by the desk in his own bedroom, keeping watch over the person that was laying unconscious in his bed.<p>

The great Kaitou Kid - minus his flashy clothes, cylinder and monocle... was laying unconscious in his bed, yes.

If someone ever told either of them that they'd find themselves in such a situation one of these days, he was sure they'd both laugh, finding such a scenario outright ridiculous.

The boy looked up from the pages as he heard a soft knock on the door. Subaru peeked inside the room the next moment, asking if there's been any progress, to which the smaller of the two only shook his head. He was left with a sandwich, with Okiya claiming that he shouldn't be forgetting to eat. Conan thanked him, actually glad to be having someone who looked after him while he was looking out for someone else.

His fight with the stupid book continued for another hour. His thoughts kept drifting back to the heist that took place the night before, and even though he deduced what he could, he was sure he was still missing a big portion of clues. He needed the idiot thief's input on this before it started making any more sense. In regards to which… he still wasn't sure how he felt in the first place. He wasn't even sure how he felt about this whole situation, period.

Conan yawned and looked at his watch, the needles showing the time to be a little past noon. Then he wondered if the faint sound of rustling fabric was just his imagination or not.

Turning to look in the direction of the bed, his suspicions were confirmed.

"Hey." Trying not to sound too relieved, the little detective spoke up from his chair, as if to inform the other of his presence, abandoning the book on top of the desk. As soon as he moved, so did Kid, wincing while attempting to get into a sitting position. "Easy with the abrupt movements. You may want to take it easy for a while."

He was sure that Kid would recall what happened soon enough. Assuming he didn't already.

A person named Snake - as Conan had found out later that night - had encountered them on top of the building when Kid was trying to flee with yet another stolen jewel. The thief avoided a few bullets that were being shot at him, but then Snake aimed his gun in apparent frustration at the smaller boy instead. Why would he target one of the detectives that wanted to catch the phantom thief? Perhaps he made a good guess and knew what was going to happen, deciding to use Conan as bait.

"Heh. Surprises all around, Meitantei." A bit more carefully this time, Kid tried that 'sitting up' thing again, clenching the left side of his stomach that was obviously the source of the pain. Shinichi could hear him mutter something about knowing he should have taken a vest with him and learning his lesson, even when it was aimed more at himself than the other boy in the room.

"That's my line." Conan protested, his voice sharp. It was Kid who was always full of surprises and didn't hesitate to throw them at him practically from the day they've met. "What the hell were you thinking?"

The taller boy smiled, something bitter in his expression. "There wasn't much time to think. My body just reacted on its own."

That sounded honest enough for Conan to believe, at least. And as much as he hated the idea, he could very well relate. He's protected Ran and his friends countless times before without so much as a second thought himself, not caring about his well-being in the process. Hell, he even helped out a criminal once - mainly because of Ran, but still - even though he knew they might turn on him afterward. He was really in no position to talk.

"I just didn't want to see my favorite critic getting hurt."

"Idiot." Conan commented for good measure, because he had a weird feeling that Kid felt as if he was responsible for whatever happened during his heists. He had no influence on random bad guys trying to ruin his show, obviously.

And besides, what about all those other times Kid had saved his life, saved his friends' lives? Both Genta's and Haibara's... He owed him a great deal, and Shinichi didn't think that letting the other go that one time, or the second time, could really balance the wages. And now, the stupid thief even shielded him from a bullet and got himself shot in his stead. The impact made them fall from the roof and Kid was still mindful enough to glide them into a safer place without crashing into anything in the process. The adventure just cost them an additional few bruises. But they were both still alive.

"So, are you okay?" Kid asked, and it was so weird hearing him being concerned about his well-being.

"Better than you are, at least." The smaller boy answered, giving him an unimpressed look. "I'm curious, though… Did you honestly not expect me to turn you in to the police after that whole stunt?" Conan had to ask, despite everything, because at this point he honestly wasn't sure what the thief thought of him. They did help each other out on occasion, but the rules still remained, and in the end, he was a detective, and Kid was still someone breaking the law.

"I certainly considered the possibility." Kid answered honestly, clearly noticing his monocle laying on the bedside drawer, as if only now starting to be aware of its absence.

A tiny smile tugged at Conan's lips at the short moment of puzzlement. But it's not like he hasn't seen the other's face before, even disguised as Shinichi so many times, so it's not like it really mattered, did it? Even if he knew his face, he still didn't know what Kid's true identity was. He's never met him outside of heists before.

"Being suspicious is a good habit in this line of work. Although... now that I think about it, catching me like this wouldn't be satisfying for you at all, would it?"

"Obviously. If I am to catch you, I want to do it without anyone's help." Conan admitted, as if that went without saying.

Noticing Kid's further distraction, he went on, deciding to change the topic for now.

"Anyway, to answer your questions... we're at my place. I hid most of your clothes, for obvious reasons." The whole white color stood out, after all, not to even mention how the bloody stain soaking through it all looked like. "After you lost consciousness, I wasn't able to carry you by myself so I called Subaru for help. He's... someone I trust, so you don't need to worry about secrets being spilled. I told him you're Kudo Shinichi."

Kid listened to the explanation, his expression turning more thoughtful.

"Kudo Shinichi, now back at his own place." Most physical aspects fit, after all. The thief smiled. "Clever."

Conan somewhat used the opportunity to clear his own name in regards to Okiya, actually, since the guy has been suspecting him of being Shinichi for a while now. … Not that he was going to admit to that in front of the thief.

"We got the bullet out and applied first aid to that wound of yours, but I'd still like for Dr. Araide to get a better look at you, just to be on the safe side. He's... also someone who can keep a secret. And I assumed the last place you wanted to wake up in was a hospital." The boy explained in a serious tone, before adding in a more teasing voice: "Well, besides jail, that is."

"Hm. Much appreciated, Tantei-kun." Kid smirked at him, but then his expression softened into something more fond. "Thanks."

"And right back at you." Conan gave him an unamused look. "Just how many times do you still plan to save my life, stupid thief? The debt just doesn't end."

"Oh? And here I thought we were square by now again." The taller boy sounded so sure of himself. "Doesn't that show how well we cooperate with one another, though? An artist and his critic, the best partners in crime around!"

"Idiot. Stop saying stupid things."

Getting all friendly on him again... Conan sighed, remembering their conversation from after when Kid had managed to open Jirokichi's safe. Honestly, just trust Kid to make him feel both... well, somewhat happy and uncomfortable at the same time. For a long time, he found the phantom thief annoying, but nowadays, he couldn't help but feel a bit of fondness for him, too. He did save his life for real, that one time, after all. If he hadn't jumped after him when he got thrown off the ship back then, he'd be dead.

Kaitou Kid was both a remarkable rival, and a very strong ally to have, when it came down to it.

A sudden shriek tore Conan out of his thoughts, and instead of the always composed thief - to his utter surprise - there was suddenly a panicking mess of a teenager before him. "Wait— What time is it, anyway?! How long was I out?"

The smaller boy couldn't help but blink, a little startled, not expecting the sudden outburst.

"It's been past noon when you woke up." Conan looked at his watch again, noting that barely a few minutes had passed since. "You've been out for almost twelve hours."

That seemed to calm Kid down a bit. "Would you mind if I used your phone?"

Conan hesitated for just a second at the request, eventually reaching into one of his pockets and getting his second phone out, the one he always used when making calls as 'Shinichi,' figuring it would be safer that way. Taking a couple of steps towards the bed, he haded it to Kid.

"Go ahead."

Kid reached out to take it, only to stop himself mere inches before actually making the contact, giving Conan a suspicious kind of look.

"I don't need to worry about leaving my fingertips on it, do I? ... Considering you probably threw my gloves out into the trash somewhere."

The boy with the glasses gave him one of his innocent smiles, the ones he always showed to adults whenever he wanted to get rid of any suspicions whatsoever.

"No promises~"

"You can be such a little devil sometimes." Kid admitted with an annoyed hint of amusement. "Well, I assume that if you really wanted to get anything from me, you would have done it by now, anyway." Which was... kind of a scary thought, Conan could surprisingly see the unease written all over the other's face. "So I'm going to have to trust you on this one."

With the phone in hand, Kid skillfully pressed a combination of digits, waiting for the person he was calling to pick up as the line made a few beeping sounds.

"Didn't you just say trusting people was bad for you?" The smaller boy teased.

Before the other could answer, the connection went through.

"Jii-chan?"

"_Young Master!_" Conan had no problem in hearing the relieved yell from where he was standing. It sounded like it belonged to some kind of elderly man. "Thank the heavens! I've been worried sick! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Kid assured, shrugging it off as if nothing. "Just got into a bit of trouble and couldn't call right away, sorry. I lost my communicator during the heist. Listen..."

"I already called you in sick for school."

"Ah, did you? Thanks." A small smile tugged at Kid's lips. It seemed like he was about to say something further, but then clearly reconsidered. "... Call Chikage and tell her I'm alright, if you can. I should be back home soon. Also, if Hakuba—"

"He's already been by your place, in the morning." The boy frowned at the info. "I told him you caught a cold and were asleep and couldn't see him at the moment."

"... Alright. Thanks, Jii-chan."

With that, Kid closed the phone shut, ending the conversation. Then he just stared at the piece of plastic in his hand, frowning, and clearly lost in thought about something.

"Jii-chan, huh?" Conan interrupted. "Your assistant?"

"Something like that." The thief looked at the smaller boy, forcing a tiny smile. "He's to me pretty much what Dr. Agasa is to you. From my understanding, at least."

Conan blinked, not sure how he felt about Kid knowing more about him than he clearly should. But he assumed it was simply someone Kid trusted and called first in case of an emergency. ... Which, yes, was pretty much like Agasa and him.

"But that's a conversation for another time. I need to get back home. Like... _right now_. Or I'm dead." Kid suddenly announced, already shifting his weight and trying to get up from the bed.

"_Whoa_— Wait, wait." Conan yelled, intending to stop the moron as he stumbled down to the floor with a yelp the moment he set foot on the carpet. "Idiot. Serious injury, remember? You're in no condition to be moving, let alone walking anywhere on your own. You should stay here and lay in bed for at least a couple of days first."

He's been shot once himself, he very well knew how nasty and painful that kind of thing was. He had to get around in a wheelchair in the hospital during the first couple of days, after all.

"As tempting as that sounds, I can't do that." Kid let out an unamused laugh, clenching his side and stubbornly attempting to get to his feet despite the protests. "That bastard Hakuba is going to stop by my place after school again, that's a given. And if I'm still not there, some cogs are going to turn. I'm sure he already knows that Kaitou Kid got shot during the heist and I'm the first person he's going to look into. It's already suspicious that I haven't shown up to school today."

School, huh? It was somewhat funny, seeing the great, mysterious Kaitou Kid in peril and worrying about school... it was the first time Shinichi saw him like this. But what did he always say? Kid was still human, just like him and everybody else, relying on tricks and luck to deceive the audience. He really shouldn't be this surprised.

"Hakuba is onto you?" He's met the arrogant detective twice himself, so he at least had some kind of picture of him. Besides, Kid also appeared before Hattori and him disguised as Hakuba once, and he's sure that guy was presented to them as much in character as possible back then. Impersonating other people in every aspect was what the thief was very good at, after all. "So he knows... the real you?"

"He transfered to my class a while back. You can probably guess why." Kid seemed as if he wanted to plant a hand in his own face, remembering something he clearly wanted to forget. "...So yeah."

"Wow. That guy really takes his work seriously." Which... in a way, was actually more amusing than anything. Having someone like Hakuba stepping on your tail at all times? "Your life must be fun."

"And that's coming from someone who hides his true identity from his own girlfriend." The thief bit back with hardly any amusement, reaching to poke the smaller boy in the side of his head. "Tell me more about how _fun_ it is."

"Ran isn't my girlfriend."

"Could have fooled me! —Ow, _ow!_" Revenge was sweet. Especially when the person you were poking back in the ribs had a hole in their belly. "Time,_time!_"

The great Kaitou Kid was at his mercy. Ha, ha. He was going to cherish this moment forever.

"I can ask Subaru to give you a lift again." Conan announced, seriousness suddenly back in his voice. "Be glad that I'm actually someone who can understand that their identity might be more important than their health." He was in a similar situation, after all. If Ran ever found out, he was a dead man, too. "But after this, we're really square."

—_t.b.c._


	2. When your poker face fails you

**~4 Idiots In A Closet~**  
><strong>Chapter 02: When your poker face fails you<strong>

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><p><em>But after this, we're really square,<em> he said.

The little detective was a compulsive liar. First he rubbed it in his face - that they were done with the helping and being all friendly-like with one another - only to insist that he'd still come and check up on him together with that trusted doctor of his after he cleared up the whole mess with Hakuba. Things were bad enough for him as they were, and Shinichi was honestly expecting him to give him away his actual address? No way in hell would he be comfortable with that. He knew what was going on here, he wasn't stupid.

Then again, the detective already knew that Hakuba knew a lot of other things about him which would fill in a lot of missing puzzle pieces into his picture. All it would take for him was to meet up with the other and ask, and Kaito's identity would be blown for them both. He'd have not one, but_two_ detectives ganging up on him.

The thought made him shiver. Shinichi, he could still blackmail with his 'an eye for an eye' policy, at least. Hakuba was a different story.

This was potential tricky stuff that didn't look good at all.

Kaito tried not to think too much on the agonizing scenarios for now, rather concentrating on the task before him. He's asked Subaru to let him off the car a couple of streets away from where his actual house was, making sure he wouldn't be followed from that point on. He appreciated that the guy didn't ask that many questions and just went on with his request.

He vaguely wondered where Shinichi found these kind of people. From what he understood, he befriended Okiya as Conan, at that.

As expected, Hakuba was standing by the stairs of his front porch, clearly waiting for him to either arrive or open the door. That bastard, didn't he have better things to do with his time?

Well, the sneaking mission was on. Wounded or not, Kaito still had it in him to move around as quietly as a shadow, eventually managing to sneak around to his back yard from the other side of the street. He's almost killed himself while jumping over the fence, his body protesting under any kind of gymnastics in his current state, but he's managed. Somehow. At least the window Jii left open for him was on the ground floor, not on the one above it.

Thank the heavens for small miracles.

Getting in through it was still a bit of a challenge nevertheless, and Kaito was sure he just strained a great a deal of muscles that needed to be left alone badly. Priorities were priorities, though.

Quietly kicking his shoes off, the boy made his way upstairs, making sure that indeed nobody else was inside of the house. Jii was probably back at Blue Parrot by now, trusting he could take care of himself. Kaito hurriedly threw his school uniform over his shirt - Kudo's shirt - before he went back downstairs again, this time purposely causing noise as he did so.

Taking a deep breath, Kaito took one last moment to compose himself and get his act together. He's been feeling feverish ever since he woke up, but he could turn that to his advantage at the moment, if he played his cards right. He had this.

When he finally opened the door, he gave Hakuba the most irritated look ever.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Saguru looked almost startled to see him, and Kaito would have smirked had the circumstances been different.

"You… weren't at school." His classmate informed, as if that was supposed to explain everything.

_No shit, Sherlock._ The dark-haired boy just looked at the other as if he were some kind of idiot. "I got a fever and weren't feeling well, _geez_. Can't a guy even get sick in peace nowadays?"

There was a pause after that, and Kaito had to try his best in order not to start feeling self-conscious under his schoolmate's suspicious and calculating gaze. Of course he'd search for anything weird in his behavior. He'd give him none of it.

"Is there something on my face?"

"You're aware of what happened, aren't you?"

"Of what happened?" The usual, oblivious act was on, with Kaito faking ignorance like all those many times before, whenever it was convenient for him.

Hakuba didn't even seem surprised, just played along to his game. Kuroba did always claim that he was Kaitou Kid's number one fan, and they both knew it, so the whole topic wouldn't be out of place under normal circumstances either, at least.

"During tonight's heist." He explained. "We've lost track of Kid."

Kaito acted as if he didn't follow. "And that's _new_, how?"

The detective's eye twitched, his lips forming into a thin line, and the thief couldn't help but secretly feel proud of himself.

"There have been reports of gunfire. And the place Kid's been seen last… The jewel he stole was found laying on the ground and there were traces of blood present in the surroundings. All evidence shows that Kid might have been shot."

"Okay… And of course the first person you run to is me." Kaito sounded anything but impressed with the whole story. "When will you stop with that? How many times do I still have to prove to you that I'm not Kid?" He let out a tired sigh. "As you can see, I'm perfectly fine."

Hakuba stared at him for a moment more - damn all of these detectives and their constant search for clues - before he finally seemed to give it a rest and relax. If Kaito didn't know better, he'd say that his schoolmate even seemed somewhat relieved with the closed eyes and tiny smile that appeared on his face in the meantime.

"I suppose… My apologies."

Wow, he was even getting an apology. Kuroba couldn't help but feel a bit of relief himself. Was this conversation over? Was he off the hook? Could he say goodbye and close the door?

"Well, I copied today's notes for you." Kaito blinked, taken totally off-guard by that sudden admission when Hakuba took out a bunch of notes and handed them to him. "… Not that you probably need them."

"Ah… thanks?" Hesitantly, the dark-haired boy accepted the small pile of papers, still not sure how he's supposed to feel about the unusual gesture of kindness.

When Hakuba smirked, Kaito wanted to punch himself in the face for being so stupid.

"Mind if I come in for a minute?" The other boy suddenly asked, and Kuroba knew it wasn't the polite and mindful side of him speaking - it was the detective one. "Unless there's some kind of reason why you can't let me in."

"Other than me feeling like shit?" The 'you're an idiot' look was back.

But the suggestion was obvious. Kaito had the option to decline but rise suspicion, or invite him as if nothing to possibly clear those for another day or two. He wondered about any clues he might have left around the house that could get him in trouble and hoped he didn't miss anything crucial.

"If you really must."

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><p>Kuroba swore going up the stairs shouldn't have been that exhausting. Once the two entered his joined living room and kitchen, he suddenly felt dizzy and tried his best to shake it off. He was faking being sick and having a fever, though, so the whole dizziness was making everything all the more believable. Right?<p>

He knew Hakuba was watching him from the corner of his eye but tried not to pay much mind to it.

"Tea?" Kaito offered, not really caring about being hospitable, but going along with it anyway. The kettle was being filled with water and placed on the stove even before an answer was given.

"Please."

The dizziness suddenly hit him again, so the dark-haired boy decided to take a seat for the time being (no wincing, no wincing, _damn_ why did this have to hurt like a bitch,) his guest soon following in his tracks and taking the chair on the neighboring side of the table.

"Kuroba-kun, are you okay? You look… really pale."

Damn it, was he grimacing? He needed to keep his poker face together. He also tried to ignore how worried Hakuba actually sounded. He really needed to look like crap.

"Fever, remember?"

"Perhaps instead of drinking tea, we should really get you back to bed after all, then." Well, if the brown-haired detective wasn't convinced before, he was apparently starting to believe him now. Point for Kid. "… Were you sleeping in your school uniform?"

Or not.

"Yeah. I already got ready for school before deciding it would be better to stay in for today." Kaito made up on the spot. "Then I got lazy."

Did that sound believable enough?

Idle chatter followed, regarding nothing interesting happening in class, then about Aoko being worried about him and also mentioning wanting to come and check up on him later on.

Eventually, a whistling sound interrupted them with the water in the kettle starting to boil, and Kaito was as fast on his feet as Saguru was (he got this, why wouldn't that idiot just sit,) intending to stride to the thing and turn it off. Two seconds later he was painfully aware of what kind of mistake that was, with his vision suddenly going dark before his eyes and him instinctively trying to catch the edge of the counter as he stumbled under his own feet.

He could swear his classmate yelled something, but he didn't quite catch it.

Once the spinning sensation in his head subsided and his vision came back, he was glad to realize he was still mostly in a vertical position. To his horror, however, the piece of firm furniture wasn't the only thing he felt pressed against himself, nor was it the only thing he was currently clinging to.

Hakuba was supporting him, the detective's hands pressed to his sides - and of course, he had to unknowingly assign pressure to the spot that currently hurt him the most, son of a— It took all of Kaito's sanity and willpower not to make a noise, nor to just kneel over there and then, breath catching in his throat as a jolt of intense pain flashed through his already aching muscles.

When he looked up, he noticed the detective staring at him with a worried and suspicious frown on his face.

The fact that he didn't say anything was a little nerve-racking.

"Bed, definitely… After tea." Kuroba scrambled for words, trying to sound more light-hearted for a change, as if admitting that Hakuba's earlier suggestion was good and he was willing to take it to heart. "Just got dizzy for a moment there. But I'm fine now… you can let me go."

The detective complied, though retreated carefully, as if wanting to check that Kaito would really be okay standing on his own and not lose his balance again as soon as he released him. The dark-haired boy let out a relieved sigh, leaning back against the counter for support as he finally moved the kettle and let it rest.

They needed mugs, he needed to move towards the cupboards…

"… Kuroba."

There was something odd about the way Hakuba said his name. It sounded like he wanted to get his attention, but there was also a hint of worry in his voice as well.

"What?" The dark-haired boy tried to concentrate more on the task of opening the cupboards, making sure to use his right hand and not strain his poor, abused muscles further. No answer came, so he tried again, wondering if the other didn't hear him. "What is it?"

When Kaito finally looked around to take a glimpse of the other boy, his blood ran cold.

Hakuba was staring at him with a very serious expression, his hand lifted before him.

There was something red smeared all over it.

Poker face.

_Poker face._

Poker face, poker face, _poker face_.

As much as Kaito tried to stay calm on the outside, he couldn't help the internal panic that was sinking in his gut at the speed of light. His wound needed to have opened up from all the moving and jumping around earlier, and he was too distracted with everything else to even notice. The blood… wasn't visible on the dark fabric of his school uniform.

_Shit._

Kaitou Kid got shot. Hakuba had undeniable proof that he was wounded. Two plus two gave ' this doesn't look good at all' and 'you're screwed', Mister Moonlight Magician.

His father must have been rolling around in his grave right about now.

"It's… not what you think."

"Let me see it." The detective was already getting closer to him again, and Kaito could feel his 'fight or flight' instincts kicking in. Cold sweat ran down his neck as he took a step back, eyes widening the tiniest bit as he heard his quickening pulse pumping in his ears. His hands clenched against the counter behind him.

"Hell, if you want evidence so bad—"

"Stupid, I didn't come here to get evidence against you." Hakuba both seemed and sounded irritated all of a sudden. "I came here because I was_worried_."

Hakuba. Worried about him. Ha. Good one.

_Wait, what?_

"Didn't I say it before?" The detective went on, serious as ever. "Kid might be an international jewel thief, a criminal, and someone I want to catch, but I don't want to see him _die_."

Kaito couldn't bring himself to say anything to that. He was suddenly feeling light-headed and dizzy again, his heart still threatening to jump out of his ribcage with how fast it was beating. He wanted to stop Hakuba in his approach, swat away the hands which were already working on unbuttoning his school uniform, but his own were shaking when he barely tried to lift them.

"Dammit, Kuroba." Judging from the detective's tone of voice, things didn't look pretty. Kaito took a glimpse of himself, somewhat horrified to find a big portion of Kudo's shirt to be indeed soaked with crimson. Well, that definitely didn't look as bad just barely an hour ago. "Were you— _Are_ you out of your mind? This needs immediate treatment."

"No hospitals." The dark-haired boy demanded, closing his eyes. The air about him changed all of a sudden, as if the graveness of the situation was finally getting to him. Placing a hand on Saguru's shoulder, Kaito added a bit of pressure to make the other move and let him go.

"Honestly, you can be the worst kind of stubborn sometimes."

"You took those words out of my mouth."

His classmate seemed displeased with him but still moved to support him the next moment, offering a shoulder to lean on as Kuroba started to make his way towards his room.

"Do you have a tatami mat? Laying on something firmer would be better for you at the moment." Hakuba explained, clearly deciding to go along with the other's stubbornness for the time being. "We'll need to add pressure to the wound for a specified time so that it can close up again, so that would be easier, too."

Huh. Somehow Kaito didn't expect for Hakuba to go all… mindful on him all of a sudden. But he supposed they could talk about the obvious stuff later. It's… not like he wanted to die on him, either.

"I have one, yeah."

Kuroba was left sitting on the floor as Hakuba dragged the mat out of the wardrobe and prepared the sheets for him. Neither of them spoke up in the process. Kaito wasn't even sure what to say as the other boy helped him with taking his uniform off, then his bloodied shirt, revealing equally soaked bandages underneath the layers of clothing.

"You had it treaded by someone else before." It wasn't a question. The thief wasn't sure what gave it away - perhaps the fact that he wouldn't be able to wrap the bandages in such a way all on his own, somehow, although that was underestimating his abilities by a long shot - but he figured there was no point in denying it.

"You could say I had some help." Not entirely a lie, vague enough not to give away too much information.

He was glad Hakuba didn't pry any further, instead concentrated on the bandages. Those needed to be changed and he was aware of that much himself.

"Hey, Hakuba…" Kaito spoke up all of a sudden, his voice somewhat hesitant, but mostly just weak and tired at this point. "Would you mind getting some towels from the bathroom? I don't want the whole place getting dirty. … Mom would probably freak out."

That made the other boy stop, then look him intently in the eyes.

"… I won't find you missing when I'm back, will I?"

Now that made Kaito blink in surprise, then smirk in slight amusement. That bastard really knew him well, didn't he? The staring contest continued for a moment more, as if they could somehow communicate without words all of a sudden.

"Do you have a first aid kit?" Hakuba was the one to speak up first again.

"Also in the bathroom."

"Alright." The detective closed his eyes, as if taking a moment to come to terms with himself and decide on something, before he finally got up to his feet. "Don't move."

Kaito watched him leave the room.

_Were you honestly trusting and holding a phantom thief to his word, Hakuba?_ The boy thought to himself, more amused with that prospect than he probably should be.

… Well, as much as he hated to admit it, he probably wouldn't be able to move that far, even if he wanted to.

—t.b.c.


	3. With a bunny on top

**Nayru's Note:** I realized that I can't write Hakuba for the life of me. But I tried. I have no idea what came out of it. Hopefully nothing too horrible.

Also, I'm currently struggling with the issue of 'Kid from DC' vs. 'Kid from MK' since those almost seem like two different characters sometimes. Or maybe Kid is still Kid, perhaps he's already a bit more experienced in DC, but we don't really get to see Kaito's side of things there. And then seeing Kaito in MK is like some kind of reality clash. I just don't know what could be considered IC for him or not anymore.

Oh, well. I have a lot of fun writing this story, at least. If someone has fun reading it, then score. As long as that works, I guess I shouldn't worry that much.

This is all about the good feels and crack anyway. :D

PS. I did research on gunshot wounds before touching this chapter so that I'd at least have a vague understanding of the issue and not write something that makes no sense whatsoever, but whatever you do, don't think this is legit in any way. I still have no idea what I was doing.

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 03: With a bunny on top<strong>

* * *

><p>As Hakuba returned to the room with the first aid kit and a pair of clean towels he managed to find in the bathroom (it only took him one minute and thirty five seconds), he was actually relieved to see Kaito still being there.<p>

The next second, the relief was replaced with worry in regards to how horribly pale the other boy looked instead. Leaning against the edge of the bed with his eyes closed like that…

He almost looked like one of the many corpses he got to see in his detective life so far.

"Kuroba?"

"…Hm?"

Thank god, there was a reaction before he could begin to panic. Kaito turned to look at him as soon as he called out his name, exhaustion apparent on his face. It was probably just fatigue getting to him, which should have been hardly a surprise at that point. Even Kaitou Kid needed to have his limits.

"…Find what you wanted?"

"Ah, yes." The detective nodded, then made his way further into the room in order to put the towels on the futon. The kit was placed between them and opened up, with Hakuba beginning to shuffle through the items inside of it.

"Were you telling me you had a fever to make your bluff more believable, or was that actually not a lie?" The half-British detective asked, observing his wounded classmate from the corner of his eye.

"Uh… I don't know. If it's there, it's not that bad, I guess." Kaito admitted, clearly a little unsure himself. "I'm feeling more dizzy than feverish, to be honest. I just went with whatever seemed to work better."

That made Saguru frown, and before he knew it, he has pulling messy strands of hair away (ignoring Kuroba's puzzlement and weak protest attempts thereafter) and pressed his hand to the thief's forehead, wanting to check for himself. To his relief, the skin didn't feel that hot to the touch.

Good. It was time to work on those bandages.

"Are you even aware what it means when a person's temperature rises after they get wounded?"

Not that he was about to judge anyone for their probable lack of knowledge, but maybe this could be of a lesson to remember. Kaito wasn't a detective like him, but with what he was doing out there, he could really keep these kind of things in mind. Especially for emergencies like these.

"Judging from the tone of your voice, I take it it's not a good thing."

"It means the wound most likely got infected. And yes, that's a very bad thing." Then things could get critical in a matter of hours. "Thankfully, that doesn't seem to be the case with you."

Kaito relaxed at that diagnosis, although he did tense up a little again once he felt the slightly cold air starting to hit his skin. Hakuba was finally done with removing most of his bandages (which he placed in a plastic bag for later discarding) and inspected the wound more carefully.

"Alright, I'll need you to lay down."

The detective offered him a hand for support. Kuroba hesitated for a moment, but accepted the help in the end.

A grimace or two and a pained hiss later, the thief was laying with his back pressed to the futon. Hakuba went ahead and discarded the rest of the bloody bandages then, proceeding to quickly clean the skin around the wound - for what it was worth, anyway. A thin layer of antibiotic ointment went next, and covering it with gauze right afterward, he and applied some pressure to it, trying to be careful.

"Now, this will… undoubtedly hurt a bit, but I need you to stay still. Think you can do that?"

Judging from the look Kuroba gaze him, that… probably didn't sound reassuring in the least. "…Do I have a choice on the matter?"

Point taken. The detective shifted his weight, positioning both of his hands flat on Kuroba's stomach, elbows unbent, as if he was about to give the other a heart massage.

"I suppose not. Take a deep breath."

Kaito grumbled something under his nose, clearly dissatisfied with something. But eventually, he did as instructed, and inhaled. As he started to exhale, the detective also slowly started adding more and more pressure to that torn skin of his.

Kid grunted in pain when it became too much to bear, instinctively catching Hakuba by the wrists, obviously wanting him to stop.

"Breathe. And try to bear with it."

He wasn't stopping.

"… I know you mean well—" Kaito chocked out, his voice strained. "But the whole ordering around is starting to piss me off. I'd appreciate if you changed your attitude, _detective_."

Hakuba stared at the other, a bit surprised at the sudden change in tone… of course. Being who Kuroba was, it was no surprise that he needed to have some kind of restraint issues. Kaitou Kid would never let anyone have his way with him, not if he could help it.

Well, it was good that he was angry, in a way. It showed that he still had a lot of energy left. And with Saguru wanting to occupy the idiot thief's mind with something for the time being, anger worked.

Besides, it was normal for people who suffered from this kind of physical trauma to have mood swings.

'_General sense of anxiety and fear about your safety,' 'trouble sleeping or changes in appetite,' 'feeling depressed, sad or low in energy,' 'irritable or easily upset…'_ Hakuba recited in his mind, remembering what he's learned and knew in regards to it. He couldn't really blame Kuroba for being even more grumpy than usual.

"For the record," Saguru spoke, his voice serious, his attitude unwavering. "If you do pass out on me, I _am_ taking you to the hospital. People who pass out from blood loss have a very slim chance of recovering without a blood transfusion in general, at that point."

He knew that if Kuroba were to land in a hospital, it would cause all kinds of trouble - considering high-school students didn't just get shot on an average day, and it was all the more worse when one had a secret identity to keep - but in his eyes, a life was still more valuable than that.

"So whatever you do, stay with me here."

* * *

><p>"Goddammit." Kaito cursed under his breath, trying his hardest to actually stay still. It wasn't even the pain that he had such a hard time dealing with. He was feeling cornered - trapped - pressed into the mattress like this, and it was just the whole thing getting very uncomfortable on its own. "How long is this still going to take?"<p>

"I need to do this for full five minutes by the clock."

Hakuba was keeping his composure just fine. It was almost like he did this on a daily basis.

"Wh— Are you _serious?!_"

"Calm down."

"This hurts like a bitch—"

"Well, you should have considered that when you were actually getting shot."

The hell was that supposed to mean? "You make it sound like it's my fault!"

"Isn't it? You knew those guys were targeting you, and yet, you showed up to the heist without wearing a vest. That was a bold gamble on your part."

… Right. He almost forgot that Hakuba knew. He was there when Spider made his advances, after all. The detective helped him out back then, splashing cold water in his face, to break him free of the illusion that he got tangled in. Quite literally.

Kid had returned the favor by helping him back. Twice.

"… I don't like them." When Kaito finally spoke, it sounded as if he was pouting. "They limit my movements."

And he was pretty confident in being able to get away just fine, thanks. He would, had he been on his own. He could handle those guys. It's the whole thing with Conan that he didn't predict.

"Well, if you value your life, you should start wearing them regardless."

He wasn't about to tell Hakuba what actually happened that got him into this whole mess. It's not like he blamed anyone else but himself, not really.

… Wait, didn't Saguru just imply that there would be another time when he ran around dressed as Kid? Kaito didn't have a doubt about it himself (no jail or prison bars would be able to stop him on the longer run) - but wasn't the detective planning to turn him in, now that he found out his real identity? He kind of took that for granted.

"Also, for future reference," Saguru interrupted his trail of thought. "If you don't want a detective to suspect you from the moment you open the door before them: your shoes were facing the entrance." He pointed out, then continued with an elaboration before Kaito could ask what the hell he was on about. "Makes one think you didn't come in through the front door. And while you might have simply fixed them just to be neat, I somehow doubt you'd go out of your way for that. You're too messy of a person to bother."

That… didn't even cross his mind. But now that Hakuba pointed it out, he kind of did have a point.

Detectives. Detectives were crazy sometimes.

"I barely took a glimpse at the bed in your room and knew you weren't even in it until at least the night before." Was the second deduction. "Unless you have a habit of making it before going down to open the door to someone. Had I checked, I imagine I would have found the sheets to be cold as well."

Kaito didn't have a comeback to that, either. He just listened.

"Lastly… I'm not sure if it has much to do with anything," Saguru admitted, "but the pants you have on right now aren't the ones from your school uniform, are they? The hue is similar, but the cut is a bit different."

Kuroba just stared at the other boy in silence. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed or horrified. He decided to show an unamused, slightly displeased face.

"Detectives amaze me." There was no humor in his voice. Nor was there any actual praise. "But I also hate them sometimes. _So goddamn much_." Only that he didn't. Not really. They were simply fascinating creatures, in one way or another. "Are you about to say that the size is different, too?"

Hakuba blinked at him. "Is it?"

"I don't know, _geez_— those aren't even my pants!" Kaito snapped. He was trying to be sarcastic, but apparently Hakuba didn't know what sarcasm was! "Neither is… that shirt. Which I can probably throw out into the trash by now. I don't even want to imagine what it would take to get all of that blood off of it."

"So these aren't even your clothes?" Of all the things, Saguru sounded intrigued with that information. As if he was taking a mental note for his future deductions.

"… Don't tell me you stole them from someone."

"… Maybe."

No way in hell was he proving Hakuba otherwise. The less he knew regarding this whole mess, the better.

* * *

><p>The five minutes were eventually up. It was no surprise to see Kaito letting out a relieved sigh when he started lessening the pressure, eventually pulling his hands away. Saguru inspected the wound again, satisfied that no fresh blood seemed to appear anymore. He could tie it back up again with new, clean bandages.<p>

"Alright. That should leave the wound closed up." The detective tried not to sound too relieved. "In theory, five minutes are enough for a clot to form, and I think it worked."

Kuroba took a moment to breathe and compose himself, his eyes drifting shut. Now that the pain and pressure were gone, the anger seemed to magically disappear as well. Even Kaito's voice was suddenly soft.

"I know you're a detective and I probably shouldn't even be surprised… But you know a lot about this kind of stuff."

It almost sounded like praise.

"I'm surprised you don't." Hakuba admitted. "Not exactly the safest job you're doing out there."

"Well, first time getting shot. Not much experience." The words suddenly boarded on mockery. "Please be gentle with me."

Was that bandage getting tighter? Whoops, Saguru's hand must have slipped.

"Hey!" Kuroba protested immediately, clearly feeling the unexpected increase in pressure again. "Excuse me for being more interested in magic tricks than medicine!"

"Magic tricks won't save your life in a crisis situation."

"Oh, _really?_"

On second thought… this was Kaitou Kid they were talking about. Kid's whole existence and survival was all about tricks.

Kuroba stared at him as if he were some kind of idiot.

"… Alright, I take that back. Point taken."

The sound of the door bell ringing suddenly interrupted them. They blinked at one another in surprise.

"That must be Aoko-kun." Hakuba assumed, swiftly tugging a few more times on the bandages in order to finish his work. It was good that he was almost done with it a second ago, anyway.

Snatching the bag with the used up items and the first aid kit, he got to his feet.

The detective was surprised to feel a tug at the material of his pants, making him stop in his tracks. Kuroba was staring at him with a nervous expression, his hand clutched at the piece of clothing, reluctant to let go.

"Keep this a secret from her."

Hakuba never heard the other boy genuinely meaning or wanting something so much. It struck him speechless to see the person who was in reality Kaitou Kid this vulnerable.

"… Please."

Right… Kuroba liked Aoko, didn't he? They were childhood friends and undoubtedly close to one another, at least. But he girl was also inspector Nakamori's daughter. She hated Kaitou Kid. If she were to find out the truth… it would be devastating for them both.

As much as Saguru wouldn't mind doing this to Kuroba - it would serve him right, after all - he didn't want to see Aoko getting hurt in such a way. He was somewhat fond of her.

The detective sighed.

"Honestly."

* * *

><p>It was indeed Aoko, coming over to check up on her friend. He wasn't at school, and she heard about him falling sick. She knew Kaito's mom wasn't around (wasn't she in Las Vegas last time?) so the girl figured she might cook porridge for him or something, as soon she found out that Jii-san wasn't around to take care of him, either. It would be bad if Kaito were to die from starvation, after all.<p>

Hakuba admired her energy and enthusiasm sometimes, honestly. He watched his two classmates argue like usual, about Kaito being stupid for getting sick, and Aoko being an idiot for worrying about him too much and wanting to do unnecessary things.

It almost made him smile. How cruel would a person need to be to want to ruin something like this?

"Aoko-kun, could I leave Kuroba in your care for an hour or two?" The half-British detective asked, checking his watch. "There are some errands I need to take care of."

That got both of their attention, with Kaito looking a little unsure and Aoko simply being a bit puzzled.

"Not a problem. He's in good hands!" The girl chirped, clearly not minding staying over for a bit longer than planned. "But wait, does that mean you're still planning to return here today?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Nakamori blinked, registering. "Aoko is just surprised to see you worrying over Kaito this much. But in a good way! You guys never got along before."

Hakuba decided to ignore that statement, not about to burst her… happy bubble.

"There is simply…" The detective turned to look at the bedridden boy, and judging from his expression, Kaito was catching up on his trail of thought. "…still something that I need to talk with Kuroba about."

He could practically hear him gulp.

"You even dropped his honorific." Aoko added with a smile, clearly pleased with the whole situation.

That made Hakuba blink. Did he? … He did. He started addressing Kuroba without 'kun' ever since he found evidence that Kid and Kaito were indeed the same person. He didn't even realize it up till now.

Aoko probably thought that they were the best of friends now. That Kuroba getting sick was what got them closer all of a sudden.

It did, in a sense. But not in the sense she thought about.

"I shall return shortly."

And with that, Hakuba made his leave, ignoring the way Kaito had been staring at him.

* * *

><p>Neither of the two were prepared to see Saguru returning with a bag full of groceries. He claimed that since they were already staying over for so long and making food, they could cook something proper for one another as well. Aoko surely must have gotten hungry at that point, and he wasn't looking forward to eating porridge that was meant to be left for their 'sick' classmate, anyway.<p>

When Aoko was distracted with her recipe, Hakuba sneaked into the room next to them and threw Kuroba a bar of chocolate, telling the other he should eat lots of it now. Kaito seemed startled at first, but was quick to smirk in delight, saying that this was turning out great, because he loved chocolate.

Then he teased him. Then he thanked him. Then he grimaced when he realized that the chocolate bar he caught was a dark, bitter one.

He ate all of it, anyway.

While Nakamori was working on the porridge, Hakuba prepared some tempura from the ingredients he brought. Somewhere in the middle of their cooking, the girl laughed and told him that he should probably keep the seafood away from Kaito. Saguru wondered if there was something he wasn't aware of.

Kuroba ate his porridge with the most unamused expression ever. He told Aoko that he's never eaten something so horrible in his life.

Another fight ensued. It was a bit weird to see Kaito trying to stay considerably still while all hell was breaking loose, limiting himself to hand flails and careful gestures. Hakuba has seen enough of their interactions to know that if things were normal, he'd be jumping around in amok by now, and no simple cold would be able to stop him.

Aoko told him that his tempura was delicious and that he was a surprisingly good cook. He might have blushed the tiniest bit, not really expecting the praise.

When evening came and they couldn't eat another bite anymore, Nakamori concluded it was about time to go home. She waved the two off, ordering Kuroba to eat more of the stuff she made (as if it had some kind of amazing healing properties) and wished him to get better soon. Then she saw herself off.

Awkward silence followed once the two boys were left alone, something heavy clinging in the air. Saguru eventually moved, gathering their dirty dishes with the intention of cleaning up.

"You want some of the tempura?"

To Kaito's surprise, Hakuba broke the silence with a completely different topic than he expected he would.

Obviously, they had to put up a good front in front of Aoko to make Kuroba's cold believable, so it would be suspicious if he ate something that could be considerably heavy on the stomach. Not to mention sick people didn't usually have much of an appetite to begin with. Kaito barely ate any of that porridge, so he was still starving.

"This is one of those rare times when I love detectives." Kuroba admitted, faking tears; he was so happy. "Yes, please. I'd eat an elephant right now. With a bunny on top."

"Didn't you consume a whole bar of chocolate like thirty minutes ago?"

"Chocolate isn't food. It doesn't count."

Saguru smiled to himself, not sure if there would be much of a point in arguing with that logic. He brought the other boy a portion, unsure whether to feel amazed of horrified to see how fast it was disappearing. He considered the idea of Kaito not eating anything since the heist, but this was ridiculous.

Well, Kuroba was a magician. He just made a dish full of food disappear before the audience… sort of. Applause for him.

The doorbell rang again when Kaito was stuffing the last piece of tempura into his mouth. The two boys blinked at one another like before.

"Are you expecting someone?"

"… No." His classmate seemed as surprised as he was.

"Perhaps Aoko-kun forgot something," was one of the conclusions. Not dwelling on it, Hakuba got to his feet and made his way downstairs.

When he opened the door, he was expecting to see Nakamori again.

Instead of the girl, he got to see some guy with glasses he didn't recognize. Together with a small boy that he was pretty sure he's already met before.

Everyone stared at each other in silence.

—_t.b.c._


	4. Worst day of his life, he said

**Nayru's Note:** I wanted to finish this chapter before leaving for New Year's Eve, and I managed. Somehow. Cheers! o/

... Hopefully it won't give off the impression of being rushed. 8D;;

An awesome next year to you, guys! c:

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 04: Worst day of his life, he said<strong>

* * *

><p>Conan waited in front of the house, trying to assess the situation (since his other method of contact failed him), before he ended up making any reckless moves that would potentially get the thief into trouble. Seeing that someone else besides Kid was clearly inside of the building, he decided to lay in standby. Thankfully, Okiya and Araide were patient enough to wait together with him inside of the car for another hour.<p>

Once the girl - which looked astonishingly similar to Ran - went out through the front door and left, he figured the coast was finally clear. He asked Subaru to wait for their return while he exited the car together with the doctor.

Well, he did mention that he'd still like to make sure of Kid's condition when the other woke up back at his place. Hopefully the thief wouldn't hold his good intentions against him.

When he rang the bell of the house, however… he definitely didn't expect Hakuba to be the one to open the door before them.

_Crap!_

He couldn't blame the half-British detective to look as surprised as he was. He had no idea someone else beside that dark-haired girl was still there.

"… Edogawa Conan-kun?"

Shinichi tried his best not to panic. They needed to improvise.

"Ah, Hakuba-niichan! What a surprise to see you here!" The small boy exclaimed in his cheerful, child-like voice that usually got everyone fooled. "I've heard niichan got sick, so I brought doctor Araide to check up on him!"

'Niichan' being the thief, who's real name Conan wasn't even aware of. He couldn't really call him 'Kaitou Kid-niichan' in front of the other detective, obviously, so that alone needed to work.

"Sorry for intruding so out of the blue," doctor Araide added, sounding modest as always. "But I've been told that the cold was really bad, so we hurried over. I'd like to get a look at the fellow, if you wouldn't mind."

Of course, Conan already told him the truth about what happened. Without giving away too much details, that is. He had the advantage of Araide trusting Jodie and him after the whole thing with Vermouth, and the doctor understood this was one of those things that needed to be kept secret, for one reason or another, no questions asked. He didn't want to endanger anyone, and to him, the boy's health and well-being was what mattered the most. He was a doctor, after all. He just wanted to help.

Hakuba frowned at them, his expression turning serious, and Conan had to wonder just how much any of this was giving away to him. They've never stumbled upon one another on any of Kid's heists before, but he's heard that the detective attended to them quite regularly just like he did. And the thief did mention that the guy was onto him…

"Not at all," Saguru finally answered in a calm tone, moving out of the way. "Please, come in."

* * *

><p>Kaito was on the verge of flipping his shit and jumping right out the window, the moment he saw Conan in his house. Then he realized such an action would probably only make things worse for him. Even if he'd make his escape, Hakuba would sell him out, and Shinichi already knew Kaitou Kid was somehow connected to this house, otherwise he wouldn't be here in the first place.<p>

This just wasn't his day.

… He brought a doctor along? The one he mentioned to him earlier? Well, Hakuba already fixed him up, so he imagined it was kind of unnecessary. But Conan couldn't have known that.

Araide insisted for the two detectives to leave them alone for the time being, so that he could check up on Kaito properly and ask him a few questions - to the thief's utter horror. Leaving Hakuba and Conan in the same room right now just screamed disaster for him. If they exchanged information, even God wouldn't be able to help him anymore.

He really wanted to jump through that window and make a run for it.

* * *

><p>Kid looked… somewhat panicked to see him. Yeah, he was really starting to wonder whether any of this was a good idea. Showing up in front of the other detective like this probably made the whole situation only worse for the thief.<p>

Conan watched the bed-ridden boy - and Kid watched him back with a very unamused look on his face (like he was silently judging him for something) - as Araide closed the door before them, leaving the two detectives to a stretching, awkward silence.

From the corner of his eye, Conan noticed a family photo standing next to a huge information board with all kinds of messy notes on it.

"What are you doing here, anyway, Hakuba-niichan?"

Conan's child-like, oblivious act was on again. It's not like he was about to show any of their cards, regardless.

"You can drop the act." Unfortunately, Hakuba wasn't someone to be fooled easily, probably catching on on their behavior, as subtle as it was. His tone of voice was serious and sharp. "I know he's been shot."

Conan went silent, not really sure what to say, or how to argue with that. Did that mean Hakuba already found out…?

"You attended the heist, didn't you? You wouldn't be here for any other reason, either." The half-British detective spoke up again, since Conan didn't. A tiny smirk suddenly made its way to his lips, putting Shinichi only more off-track. "I'm actually surprised you're trying to keep his identity secret from me. May I ask why?"

The smaller boy stared at the other, still trying to figure out whether Hakuba really, _really_ knew the truth or simply tried to _act_ as if he knew without having any actual proof, wanting to lure him into a trap and have him admit it.

Damn, he wished Kid could confirm this for him. Hakuba's already seen his demeanor during the two cases they were solving earlier, both at Sunset Mansion and the Detective Koushien, so continuing trying to play dumb probably wasn't the best of ideas. Unlike Kogoro, the high-school detective wasn't an idiot he could fool with petty words.

"It's… the least I could do." Conan decided to admit, still a little hesitant. "Especially when he got shot because of me."

Well, at least this seemed to be news to the other detective. "Because of you?"

"Yeah… That bullet was meant for me. He jumped into the line of fire." The smaller boy sighed in defeat. "I fail to count how many times that idiot thief has saved my life by now, honestly. I may not know him on a personal level, but… He's definitely not one of the bad guys."

Hakuba frowned at that, falling quiet.

"…You're planning to turn him in after he gets better, don't you?" Came the inevitable question, Conan's voice suddenly turning more soft.

To his surprise, that earned him a smile from Hakuba. But there was something bitter in his expression, an odd kind of amusement in it.

"… I'm not sure myself anymore, to be honest."

The smaller detective blinked, not expecting that kind of answer.

"After the case with Nightmare… he started to confuse me as well."

"… Nightmare?"

Hakuba closed his eyes, then turned to approach the counter, setting the kettle to boil without a word. Conan got the impression that this was a topic for a longer conversation, but was willing to listen just the same.

"Kid went out of his way to shield a child from a horrible truth that would change its life forever, endangering himself in the process." Hakuba finally explained, purposely not mentioning too many details. "There was also the thing with Ryoma's three treasures." Which Conan was part of, so no further elaboration was needed. That case was officially out in the open, at least. "I tried doing more thorough research on all of the other heists I didn't attend to, but police reports don't cover even half of what I'd like to know, and I'm sure a lot of motives are still left in the dark."

That was the police force for you. Not that Shinichi wanted to be an ass, but for inspector Nakamori and his task force, who had been chasing after Kaitou Kid for almost twenty years now, they weren't doing much of a good job at all, were they?

"The fact is that Kid always returns what he steals. So why is he doing it in the first place?" Saguru went on, clearly noticing that Conan was interested in what he was saying. "He's not doing it just for fun, he's not _that_ kind of insane. There needs to be something more to the whole picture, something we're missing..." He trailed off, before admitting: "Right now, more than turning him in, I want to find out why he's doing it."

All of a sudden, Conan could kind of understand why Kid had been panicking in regards to Hakuba so much. He was taking all of this pretty seriously. Being on the half-British detective's deductive side needed to be one hell of a adventure.

"He told me you were suspecting him since a while now, and I think I can see why he was so worried." Conan admitted with a hint of amusement. "He mentioned that you even enrolled to his class as a transfer student, just to observe him?"

"Oh? He even mentioned that to you?" Saguru seemed… oddly proud of himself. "Just what is your relationship with Kaitou Kid, Edogawa-kun? I thought you two were enemies."

"We are! … In a sense. Things simply got… a bit complicated lately." Conan went on defense, although he didn't sound very convincing. "I still want to catch him. Just… not like this."

"So it's not fair if an outside force ends up interrupting the chase?" There was no surprise in Hakuba's voice, although Conan couldn't tell if he also understood and followed that way of thinking, or whether he found it absurd. "So honorable of you, Edogawa-kun."

It occurred to the smaller boy that Hakuba wasn't talking to him as if he were just a mere seven-year-old. During the Detective Koushien, Saguru did point out that he was surprisingly good at deductions, but… he was actually surprised to see someone taking him this seriously just after meeting him twice.

Well, three times now.

"Something like that," Conan admitted. "But I do agree with the fact that there needs to be something more to the whole picture. I could… tell you more about the heists I've attended to myself, if you want."

"I would like that, yes."

This sounded like an interesting plan, actually. If they combined all the information they had, maybe they could deduce more out of everything. However…

"What do you say we do that with all three of us present, though?"

"With Kid?"

Hakuba seemed slightly surprised with the suggestion, but he definitely wasn't averse to the idea. Which was good. Shinichi somehow had the weird feeling that if some of Kid's true motives came out into the open, Hakuba would reconsider turning him in to the police altogether.

Sigh. … He really wasn't sure why he wanted to help the stupid thief out this much. Yet somehow, here he was, doing his best to make things work in his rival's favor.

Well, he was obviously curious about the whole thing himself, as well. He could stick to that.

"Who could give us better answers than the person who's the source of the questions himself?"

Assuming Kid would even want to talk to them about any of this. … Then again, they did have a lot of blackmail material in their hands right now. He was pretty sure Hakuba wouldn't be reluctant to use it against him, if the thief didn't want to cooperate.

Which… would be a bit of a dick move on their part. But the milk was already spilled all over the place, anyway.

"You do have a point." Saguru agreed. "That guy might be a bit bitter right now… and probably scared, too."

Kaitou Kid, scared?

"But I think having a serious conversation with him might be a good idea, indeed." Hakuba admitted, then paused, before adding in an equally serious tone: "Here's to hope he won't disguise himself as that doctor of yours and make a run for it, first opportunity he gets. I wouldn't even be surprised if that happened."

Hey, hey… This was no laughing matter. Though Hakuba did have a point. He was prepared for everything when it came to Kid, wasn't he? And for someone wounded and having trouble moving, he definitely wasn't underestimating the thief.

"For the record… this wasn't the first time someone tried to shoot him down during a heist."

Oh? "Are you talking about Scorpion?" The female sniper that always aimed for the right eye? Kid ended up being a target when he stole the Faberge egg. Heiji and him were there - saw it happen, even.

"Not just Scorpion… there are more people after him. And that idiot is well aware of it."

Now this was news to him. The heists Conan attended to so far seemed mostly harmless, from what he was aware of. He also understood the fact that not everyone might have been a big fan of the thief, but… Hakuba wouldn't make it sound so serious if it wasn't. Was Kaitou Kid stealing despite knowing he was endangering his life while at it?

"Um… Hakuba-kun, right?" Araide was the one to suddenly interrupt their conversation, getting the two detectives' attention. Was he done with the check-up? "May I have a word with you?"

"Of course."

Saguru complied and approached the doctor to talk. Meanwhile, Conan didn't dwell on it for too long and used the opportunity to slip inside of the thief's room unnoticed. Kid still seemed to be in bed, but he was sitting up.

The thief was giving him the most unamused look ever.

* * *

><p>He hated today. With passion.<p>

"Let me guess. I am carrying a transmitter somewhere on me."

He was just so preoccupied with the whole thing with Hakuba that he didn't even… think about it. Kaito sighed, as if he couldn't believe himself. He swore he wasn't usually this stupid. Getting all friendly with the small detective wasn't doing him any favors.

"… I should get a red card for this."

His father must have been rolling around in his grave for the second time that day.

"Red card?" Conan had to wonder if the thief even knew the meaning behind one, because he wasn't exactly using it properly. "I left a badge in the pocket of your pants, actually. And I was trying to contact you. But you weren't answering."

"… You're kidding me."

Okay, so Shinichi knew that he wouldn't take it with him willingly, hence why he didn't mention a thing about it. Kaito wasn't sure whether to be mad or thankful.

It took a few seconds of searching around, but Kuroba eventually managed to find the piece of metal with the silhouette of Sherlock Holmes embedded on it. He inspected it curiously. The Detective Boys' badge, it was the first time he got to see it up-close.

"I didn't hear anything." Maybe he called when Hakuba was pressing him down to the mattress… Kaito grimaced at the realization of how wrong that thought sounded.

"Well, I wanted to make sure it was safe for doctor Araide to make his appearance, but I also considered the possibility of you passing out again, so… I didn't know Hakuba might still be here."

"Yeah, I get that…" The thief murmured, clearly not liking any of it, but trying to suck it up. "To be honest, I'm actually… somewhat glad you came."

They might have been on opposing sides of everything, but Kaito had to admit, he trusted Shinichi more with his secrets than he trusted Hakuba. He wasn't even sure why. Maybe it was because they both had a secret identity they wanted to keep.

And Hakuba was an arrogant asshole who just couldn't mind his own business. He hated that guy sometimes. … Even if he did help him out with the bleeding and bandage change. … And made food for Aoko and him.

Goddammit.

"You were right, by the way." Kuroba admitted with a defeated sigh. "I should have stayed at your place when you told me to. Confronting Hakuba in the state I was in was stupid. It just made everything worse in the end. It would be less of a hassle if I didn't show up at all." He ran head-first into the whole mess like some kind of idiot. "Worst day of my life, I swear."

Conan had to admit, it was… weird, seeing his rival like this. He almost seemed like a different person. Kaitou Kid was always so calm and composed, acted like he knew what he was doing at all times; didn't even see failure as an option. Kuroba seemed… more wild. More goofy.

Was this the real him? Which side of him was an act?

"Oh, well."

Before Conan knew it, there was a yellow rose before him. He blinked at it in confusion, his brain undoubtedly trying to wrap around the fact how it could have appeared out of thin air like that.

Silly detectives.

"Kuroba Kaito, aspiring magician." The other grinned, extending his hand with the flower out to the smaller boy. "Pleasure to meet you, Tantei-kun."

If he was going down anyway, he figured he might as well go down with style. He was used to making a good face to a bad game.

"… A magician, huh? That explains a lot." Conan's smile had… something apologetic in it. "Well, you already know who I am."

His favorite critic wasn't playing along. Kuroba pouted. "You're no fun."

The smaller boy eventually reached for the flower, taking it in his hand. He stared at it thoughtfully.

"But, wait… Kuroba…" Conan mused. "Kuroba… where have I heard that name before?"

"Hm?" Kaito made an intrigued sound, wondering how it might sound familiar to the detective. "Well, my dad used to be a famous magician… but I somehow doubt you were interested in that kind of thing all those years back."

Maybe he's heard something, though? Shinichi did tend to act as if he were a walking trivia box and encyclopedia sometimes.

"Ah!" Something clicked? "Kuroba Toichi was your dad?"

Kaito blinked because it seemed like Conan just connected something, and he had no clue what it was. "How did you…?"

"My mom took disguise lessons from your dad." He explained. "Together with… Sharon Vineyard." He had to stop himself from saying 'Vermouth' and vaguely wondered how weird this whole situation actually was.

Kaito frowned, taking a moment to think, and then—

"Eeeh?!" He screamed in both awe and surprise, clearly connecting some dots. "Yukiko-san?!"

"Ha, ha…" Conan's laugh was weak - so very weak - lacking amusement whatsoever. "I can't believe this."

Their parents knew each other. For years. The Kudo family had been friends with people involved with Kaito Kid's persona without even being aware of it all this time.

Honestly, what were the odds…

"This is awesome." Kaito laughed, more amused than anything. "Small world, eh? I remember meeting her at least once - I recall her being really pretty, by the way - and I think she scolded me for something…"

"I also met your father once." Conan admitted, interrupting the other's trail of thought. "Together with Ran. It was… around ten years ago, I think."

At their old school, during the night, at that. The crazy magician handed them a leather money pouch with a riddle inside that he didn't get to understand the actual meaning of until just recently. Thinking back on it, what kind of crazy scenario just were they involved in?

"What's more amusing in all of this, is the fact that our dads apparently had some kind of… rival thing going on."

Well, if they would look at their sons now.

"No way, no way!" Kuroba couldn't be more amused with the whole thing. "Doesn't it make you think they were related somehow? I mean, just look at us."

Kaito grinned, something sinister glinting in his eye.

"… Unless… Your mom had an affair with my dad…"

"_Don't._" Conan warned. "Don't even go there. _God._ Thanks for the mental images…"

The boy caught the upper part of his nose in-between fingers, adding pressure to it as he closed his eyes, trying to fight off all the disturbing thoughts.

"My work here is done."

It couldn't have been true, and they both knew it. It didn't even work like that, even if it did turn out their fathers were some long, lost… twins. Or something. Still, who would Kaito be if he saw a perfect trolling opportunity and didn't use it?

Before Conan's thoughts could run any more wild, Hakuba entered the room, getting their attention. It was his cue to move.

"I already saw Araide-san off." The blond-brown-haired detective assured, gesturing for him to stay in place. "He prescribed you an antibiotic and some painkillers, in case you needed them, Kuroba. And he gave me some instructions on how to handle that wound of yours for the next two weeks."

"Joy." Kaito sounded anything but happy.

Conan flipped his phone open, calling Saguru to tell him it was okay to leave without him, and to drop Araide off back at the clinic. He also thanked him and assured he'd go back on his own a little later. He didn't want to involve Agasa (or Haibara, for that matter) in any of the things related to Kid, so Okiya was like a godsend to him right now.

"Also… I apologize, but I ended up overhearing your conversation." Hakuba admitted, his voice oddly careful. "Or, well, part of it, anyway."

Kaito shrugged, clearly not minding it that much. They left the door open, after all. It's not like it was a big deal or a secret, the whole thing regarding their parents.

Oh. Wait.

Meanwhile, Conan's blood ran cold from the admission, and he just stood there, staring at Hakuba with an insecure frown on his face. Kuroba was quick to realize that the stare was mutual.

Oh, shit.

"Edogawa-kun, how old did you say you were again?"

The little detective didn't answer, obviously well aware where this was going.

"You said… you met Kuroba's father ten years ago."

Silence fell upon the room.

"_Aaand_ it's out! Sorry about this, Tantei-kun."

Kaito suddenly interrupted in a loud, obnoxious voice, and Conan could only look at him with horror written all over his face.

"Wait—"

"You see, Hakuba," Kuroba went on, ignoring whatever protests Conan had. "We try to keep this a secret from people because not many would even believe it. But since you've already caught up on it… Tantei-kun here said something like that because—"

The thief was trying to keep a straight face as he gesticulated with his hands, his voice dead serious.

"This guy remembers his past life."

…

What.

"Like I said, it's not something many people would believe."

Yes, yes, his poker face was on his side. Hakuba could look at him funny all he wanted.

"He was great detective in his past life and that's why he's also so good at it now, despite being so young. Reincarnation is a thing!"

… Shinichi had no idea if this was actually genius or if he wanted to facepalm and call Kid a mental case.

"… I was wrong about you, Kuroba." Hakuba suddenly spoke up, beating him to the punch. He sounded so horribly unimpressed… "You're not just crazy. You're _completely out of your mind_."

Conan couldn't help himself.

He snorted.

Then he ended up laughing, almost like that time Jodie called Heiji a foreigner. "Isn't he?"

"Hey! Why aren't you going along with it?" Kaito almost sounded offended, but mostly just displeased. He was trying to help him here, and for what? "No fun. _No fun at all_, Tantei-kun!"

"He's great at improvising, though. I think we both have to give him that."

There was that hint of fondness in Conan's voice again, and Kaito could at least see that Shinichi was still thankful to him, despite turning down his help.

"Thanks, Kid… Ah, I guess I should call you Kuroba now." He smiled. "But I think that kind of scenario would just complicate things even more than it's worth."

Kaito seemed to sober up at that, watching the little detective as he turned to the blond-brown-haired boy next to him. He could see the resolve in his eyes. He's clearly made his mind up about this… but why? Was he really willing to give it up that easily? Or was there something more to it?

"This information might get you in danger. Are you really sure you want to know?"

Getting an ally like Hakuba, though… if that's what Shinichi was aiming for, he couldn't really blame him. The idea sounded nice, even to him. But that was assuming Saguru could keep a secret and was even willing to keep all of this to himself to begin with. There was always the possibility of this going all kinds of wrong.

They weren't exactly the most normal bunch out there.

Then again, he wouldn't be the first person to find out. Shinichi already had a lot of loose ends when it came to his identity.

"What kind of danger?" Hakuba seemed both careful and curious.

"'People who are after me wanting to kill everyone involved with me' kind of danger." Shinichi's voice was dead-serious; he definitely wasn't joking about that.

Kaito knew he wasn't. He had an encounter with one of those guys on the Bell Tree Express himself, after all. Dangerous times. He still thought back on the whole ordeal sometimes.

"He's not joking about that, Hakuba."

Kuroba interrupted, deciding to lay back down on the mat, snaking his hands under his head and crossing them together to make things more comfortable for himself. He sighed, closing his eyes. He was out, he wouldn't be part of this conversation, it was between the two detectives now. But he could still leave his two cents, if only to make Hakuba reconsider.

"So think about it carefully. There may be no points of return, and all that."

The half-British detective stared at Kaito for a moment, clearly contemplating the warning, but his expression was mostly unreadable.

"I take it this isn't something the police can just handle."

"Not really, no." Conan answered this time, closing his eyes.

"Well, I'm a detective. It's not like I would be able to turn the other way and give this a rest by now, anyway. It just isn't in my nature." That, Shinichi could understand very well, at least. "So if you trust me enough, please, tell me what this is about."

And so, the curtain had dropped.

"Tea?"

"Tea." Hakuba agreed and moved, intending to make his way back into the kitchen. Kaito observed him intently, as if unsure whether he approved of his decision or not.

"So, Kuroba?"

"Hm?" He looked at the small boy that called out his name, not really expecting to be bothered about anything else at this point.

"Will this day be a little less bad for you if you're not the only one who's identity ends up being revealed?"

The question took Kaito totally off-guard and it probably showed. He didn't even try to keep his poker face intact.

Something swelled in his chest and he felt like hugging his favorite critic for being so thoughtful of him.

Best partners in crime around, indeed.

—_t.b.c._


	5. Conversations over tea (?) and milk (!)

**Nayru's Note:** This chapter wasn't easy to write and I kept getting stuck on it in various places, hence why it took me this long to update. It also unexpectedly expanded on me quite a bit. I'm hoping the final outcome can be enjoyable, nevertheless. xd

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 05: Conversations over tea (?) and milk (!)<strong>

* * *

><p>After leaving the bedroom, Conan followed Hakuba into the kitchen, deciding to take a seat by the table. The half-British detective went for the counter first, clearly intent on preparing the earlier-mentioned tea. At least the water should have been warm at that point, with how many times it was set up to boil in the meantime.<p>

A mere minute didn't even pass before Kaito joined them.

Clearly, laying peacefully in bed just wasn't meant for the great Kaitou Kid.

"If you end up making that wound of yours open again, I'm going to kick your behind." Hakuba warned, sounding somewhat displeased with the other's energetic appearance.

"Likewise." Conan might have had a more neutral stance in regards to the thief getting out of bed, but he was still with Saguru on that one.

"Now Tantei-kun's kicks, I _do_ fear."

Kuroba grinned, reaching out to playfully poke the small detective in the shoulder. Conan just gave him an unimpressed look, though there was a smile on his lips. They both stared at each other as if they knew about something Hakuba didn't.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing!" Kaito reassured and waved it off, not wanting to make his classmate even more angry by saying he wouldn't be able to land a kick anywhere on him in the first place. "But hey, give me some slack - I'm curious, too. I may be aware of a few things I found out by mistake, but I haven't heard the whole story yet, either."

"By mistake?" Conan gave Kuroba a skeptic kind of look as the thief took a seat by the table, joining him at his right side.

"It's not my fault you tend to make such important calls in public places." The case with the Faberge egg? Yeah, they both knew what he was referring to. "Just between you and me, you should be a bit more careful with that. Next time it might not be just someone like inspector Shiratori to overhear."

"You were stalking me back then, weren't you?" Did Kaito see the unamused look Conan was giving him?

"Well, you know how the saying goes… 'keep your friends close, and your enemies closer'." The magician rested his chin on his hand, giving the boy a small smirk. "It was in my best interest to know what you were up to."

"Back at the time I was wondering whether you were still alive or not."

"Please." Kuroba faked being offended. "Phantom Thieves don't die that easily."

"Well, the evidence was kind of unambiguous." Conan went on. "But the police wasn't able to find a body. I'm still wondering how you managed to get one of your pigeons take that blow for you."

There was a slight pause with Kaito's expression shifting. He blinked, his smile dying down considerably. "If it had taken that blow for me, it probably wouldn't have survived."

Shinichi went silent at that information, wondering if Kuroba would go on and elaborate on it. But it didn't look like he was about to do that.

"Sounds like you two have a bit of a history together." Hakuba finally spoke up, probably finding it a good moment to join in. For further distraction, there was a mug of steaming, hot tea being placed in front of Conan, then another one in front of Kuroba. "Sugar? Milk?"

"Milk?" Kaito asked, perplexed. "Does anyone even drink tea with milk?"

"I take it it's a British thing." The smallest of the three assumed, looking at Saguru for confirmation. He was pleased to see him smirk.

"You've never had it like that before?"

The silence and the questioning looks Kuroba and Conan exchanged were most likely enough of an answer.

"Well, do you want to give it a try?"

"Why not?" Kuroba was clearly intrigued. The thief handed his mug back to the half-British detective, eager for a surprise. Conan figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, either. He's heard about it, but it wasn't a lie that he's never tasted tea made in such a way before.

When Hakuba prepared their drinks, adding milk and sugar, Shinichi noticed that he skipped the sugar on his own mug. He wondered if the other detective wasn't a fan of sweet things.

"Here you go."

The mugs were soon back before them again. Conan stared at the liquid's changed color before carefully taking the drink in his hands and taking a small sip. With the addition of cold milk from the fridge, the tea was practically cool enough to drink without burning one's tongue from the start.

"Hmm… It might be a bit too sweet for my taste, but it's not that bad."

Kuroba tasted it more eagerly than he did, but was quick to go still and blink. His expression turned somewhat thoughtful, not giving away whether he liked it or not. Eventually, the magician reached for the sugar bowl, adding another two spoon-fulls of the white powder before stirring it and giving it a taste again. Then he stilled once more for another moment.

"Now it's perfect." Kaito finally smiled, satisfied. "I like this."

"To think that Kid would have such a sweet tooth." Saguru remarked with slight amusement as he took a seat beside them, to Conan's left and right across the thief.

"Shut up," came a grumble as Kuroba continued to sip on his tea.

"Well, I'm glad you two like it, at least."

* * *

><p>Silence fell upon the kitchen as they sipped on their warm drinks again, and Shinichi wondered if it was about time to start the explanation he still owed. … Not that he was that eager to share it to begin with.<p>

He failed to count how many times he's thought about a scenario when he needed to tell Ran the truth. There were also a few instances where he almost did just that.

And yet, even after all this time, Conan still hasn't come up with a proper way of putting it all into words. If there even was one, considering. Granted, admitting it to someone like Saguru, who barely even knew him, was bound to be incomparably easier, but still…

"You're taking this surprisingly well." Hakuba was the first to break the silence, and to Conan's surprise, the words weren't being directed at him. The taller detective sipped on his tea, before he opened his eyes to look at Kuroba. "I thought you'd be more grumpy than this."

Was he was referring to both of them finding out about Kid's secret?

"Well, what did you expect me to do? Mope around and be all depressed about it?" Kaito asked, displease in his voice. "Besides, you know as well as I do that no prison bars are going to hold me for long."

The almost-carefree-but-somewhat-mocking tone seemed to anger Saguru greatly.

"This is no laughing matter, Kuroba."

"Do you see me laughing?" The thief shrugged, clearly unimpressed with the whole thing.

Before he and Kaito knew it, the London detective was standing up and ramming his hands flat against the table. Conan almost jumped in his seat, startled by the action, unsure what the hell was going on all of a sudden. He definitely hasn't seen Hakuba being this pissed yet.

"You're not taking any of this seriously. Or maybe you just don't get it yet." Saguru raised his voice and went on, angry and serious. "You think the police would lock someone like Kaitou Kid up in a normal prison cell? Even _they_ aren't that stupid."

"I still stand by what I said." It seemed like the magician had no intention of backing down. "Hakuba, Kaitou Kid was able to open the world's strongest safe in less than ten minutes. You're clearly underestimating someone here."

"You're so full of yourself…"

That seemed to pull the last straw.

Conan only observed as the other detective suddenly moved, circling around the table to get on the magician's side. Kaito barely got a chance to react before one of his hands were getting restrained by a handcuff and yanked on, the other end of the metallic chain ending up around one of the table's legs.

The thief seemed surprised, at first. But he was quick to shake the initial confusion off, meeting Saguru's gaze with an equally serious one.

"Go ahead and prove me wrong. With no preparation, and with no access to any of your gear." Hakuba was clearly challenging him and trying to get his point across while at it.

"You think that's going to make a difference for me?" That seemed to amuse Kaito only more. "You never learn, do you?"

The cuffs slid down to the tiled floor with a metallic cling practically at the same time as Kuroba stood up from the chair he was sitting on, his hand freed of any restrains in a blink of an eye.

Saguru frowned, the anger in his features growing. He reached to pick up the handcuffs, trying the same thing again - only this time, he restrained both of Kuroba's hands in two sets of cuffs, one to a table leg each. The thief wouldn't be able to use both of his hands this way, and his movements would be very limited with his limbs stretched out like that.

Conan had the impression that Kaito didn't even bother to put up much of a fight and simply let his classmate do it.

"How about now?" Hakuba asked with seriousness in his voice, and the two stared at each other as if they had another battle going on in their own world, beside the whole ordeal outside. Conan could almost imagine sparks dancing and battling in-between them, as he observed and wondered what was going to happen next.

Then Kaito smirked, in a way he tended to do when being dressed as Kid. The thief's gaze jumped somewhere next to the half-British detective, causing a feeling of unease.

"You might want to look behind you."

"… What…"

And he did. The sudden feeling of paranoia did its trick well, causing both Hakuba and Conan to turn their heads in the other direction. It happened for barely a second, with them finding nothing out of place, but apparently that was also all it took.

"I cant believe you fell for that." Kuroba's snickering voice made the two detectives look back at him immediately. "That's like, the oldest trick in existence."

The thief was kneeling down, retrieving the second pair of handcuffs from the floor. The first one was already gone. Neither of the metallic pieces were on Kaito's wrists anymore.

That Hakuba looked surprised was an understatement. He probably wasn't much better off, either. Kuroba only smirked wider, clearly satisfied with his audience's reaction. Conan wondered if he made them look away so that they wouldn't see and figure out how he got out of such a setup. With how little time that took, and how effortless Kuroba made it look… it was crazy.

"How… are you doing that?" Hakuba finally put his wonder into words.

"The same way I did it the other five times when you were trying to restrain me." The magician looped a finger inside of one of the cuffs, starting to give it a playful spin. "Come here, I'll show you."

Saguru blinked, taken even more off-guard by the offer. But he eventually gave in to curiosity and moved forward, approaching the other with a slightly unsure frown.

"First of all, you need to do this…"

Conan watched in slight amazement as Kaito swiftly yanked on Hakuba's hand, and with a soft clicking sound, the detective was the one handcuffed to the table this time. The thief casually walked away from him as if nothing even happened, leaving Saguru to just stare at him in disbelief.

"—_Hey!_"

The blond detective protested, abruptly yanking on the chain while wanting to follow the other. The action forced the table to move with a loud grinding sound, almost making their tea spill all over the place - to Conan's horror. The small boy let out a panicked noise as he tried to catch the dancing mug before him, and thankfully, as soon as Hakuba realized what his actions were causing, he stopped dead in his attempts.

Kaito's idea of help was to gracefully hop onto said table and take a seat on the edge, letting his weight hinder the detective from any more abrupt pulls of furniture. He was obviously also out of his classmate's reach.

"Remember this, Hakuba." Kuroba announced before closing his eyes, shifting to make himself more comfortable. The smirk was still there, as was a hint of amusement in his voice. "A magician never reveals their secret."

"… I hate you." Saguru announced in displease, fumbling with the cuffs and clearly searching for something around in his pockets. Noticing the detective's peril, Kaito was ready to get his attention with something else:

"Looking for this?" The dark-haired teen waved around a small key in his hand.

"When did you—" Hakuba looked as if he couldn't believe this was happening, and Shinichi could hardly blame him for it. "I hate you _even more_."

"That must be a lot of hate." Kuroba's composure wasn't wavering. "Maybe you should start a Kid anti-fan club or something."

The detective fell silent for a moment, staring daggers at the thief. "… I'm sure Aoko-kun would join it, at least."

Conan wasn't sure who was mentioned, but he could see that the remark made some kind of dent in the magician's composure. His smile was suddenly gone. It lasted for barely a heartbeat, but it happened.

"Heh. Point for the detective."

When Kaito's smirk was back, it had something slightly bitter to it. The thief eventually hopped down from the table, making his way back to the restrained teen.

He fumbled with the handcuffs for barely a few seconds before a clicking noise could be heard, and Hakuba's wrist was free. Kuroba opened them without the use of the key, as if it was a walk in the park.

"If you weren't hurt, I would honestly punch you right now." Saguru caught his wrist in his other hand, rubbing the skin for comfort.

"You could _try_." The dark-haired magician corrected, quickly taking care of the other end of the cuffs stuck to the table.

"I could _try_ another time, then." The detective finally gave in, apparently deciding to just go along with Kuroba's stubborn visions. "For now, let us return to your room so that you can lay down. We can continue our conversation there. With the way you move and hop around in your current state, it's just painful to even watch."

"I'm fine."

"Remind me how _fine_ you were last time, when you sneaked inside of your house. Honestly, Kuroba, if you want to get better—"

"I swear, you're acting like my mother."

The magician barked, angry. He gave Hakuba his cuffs back by forcefully slamming and pressing them into the detective's chest, as if that would make him shut up.

"I can't stand being bed-ridden, okay? Trust me, I'm better off the way I am right now." The thief insisted.

When Saguru finally reached to accept the two items back, Kaito pulled away and crossed his arms before him.

"If it will make you feel better… I can promise not to hop around too much anymore."

The sudden change in tone was a little unexpected.

"… Define 'too much'."

"… You guys sure are something." Conan could only comment, not sure what to even make of this whole ordeal. He vaguely wondered for how long this would go on if nobody stopped them. "It's like you're stuck in your own, little world sometimes."

Kaito clearly took that as some kind of compliment, because he was grinning at him, looking pleased.

"Look, we're making Tantei-kun feel left out. We should fix that."

… He wasn't feeling left out. Stupid thief.

"Don't think you're off the hook just yet." Saguru threw at the magician before finally shifting and taking a seat by the table again, his attention turning back to Conan. "But you're right, I do apologize. It was your story I wanted to listen to. We got a little carried away."

"A little?" Shinichi couldn't help but tease.

"You need to forgive Hakuba for his obsession." Kuroba went along with the teasing. "As you can see, he can hardly help himself sometimes."

"Obsession?" The blond detective sounded puzzled.

"Aren't you?" Kaito asked, faking an unimpressed voice. "Obsessed, I mean? From what I'm aware of, your obsession with Kaitou Kid goes _waaay deep_. It almost makes me wonder sometimes."

It was obvious that Hakuba knew Kaito was just mocking him, and he didn't want to give the thief the satisfaction of wavering his composure, even if he did look and sound displeased. "Sorry for taking my work seriously."

"Like I said." Conan interrupted the two once again. "Own, little world."

"You heard the detective." Kuroba snickered, playfully punching his classmate on the shoulder. "Shut up already, Hakuba."

The hand was swatted away. "You shut up."

"I give up." Conan announced, slumping his head against the table. "Wake me up once you're done."

* * *

><p>Shinichi tried to ignore the two running around the kitchen, playing cat and mouse. Or thief and detective, in their case. He could swear there were handcuffs involved again. And a mop. … What was that about Kuroba needing to be mindful of his injuries again?<p>

Patience. Patience was a virtue.

It took another while, but the two eventually stopped without having broken anything - which was kind of a miracle - and the small detective managed to start on the explanation of his share of the story.

He told them the most crucial parts: about his first encounter with 'the men in black,' how he screwed up and was forced to swallow poison that was supposed to kill him, but somehow didn't. He explained how those guys weren't aware that he was still alive, and that he's been on the lookout for trails regarding their mysterious organization ever since, while needing to keep his real identity secret.

And just as Shinichi foresaw, Kaito didn't seem as surprised by his story as Hakuba was. The thief already knew about the identity part, though, so it was only to be expected. The rest probably just added a few other missing puzzle pieces to the picture for him.

"So it was actually those guys' doing that made you like this." Kuroba mused, clearly understanding everything a lot better now. "I always wondered if you were the way you are because you wanted it for identity reasons, or if it was something you couldn't help."

"You have no idea." The small detective rested his chin on one hand, feeling tired all of a sudden. "I don't know what I wouldn't do for a cure."

Hakuba forced a cough to get their attention.

"Sorry." Conan apologized for leaving Saguru out again. "The thing is… well, the poison didn't kill me, but… it made me younger, you could say. Physically. I'm actually almost the same age as you guys are."

Obviously, the half-British detective didn't see that coming. "… What."

"Remember how you suggested for me to take Kudo Shinichi's place at the Detective Koushien, since he wasn't there?"

"Kudo Shinichi… The Detective from the East, whom there's been nothing heard of, as of late." Judging from Hakuba's expression, he caught up on what Conan was trying to get at. "It's you?"

Shinichi figured not denying it would be self-explanatory. "Does the 'missing' part make more sense now?"

"That…" Words seemed to fail the blond detective. "The poison that was supposed to kill you turned you into a small boy, instead? … How is this even possible?"

"Like I said before… it's not something many people would believe." Kuroba repeated his words from earlier, confirming it to be true.

"It isn't really something a logical mind can wrap itself around, is it? Believe me, I was initially as surprised as you are." Conan went on. "But it's hard to deny something that can't be explained when it's right there before you."

The boy extended a hand before himself, as if to amplify his words. He wasn't intending to stop and dwell on it, but looking at his own, small hand with his current thoughts in mind made him feel somewhat depressed.

"For the record, Hattori knows about it." Shinichi pointed out. "He was the first person to find out about my real identity on his own."

Hakuba seemed thoughtful. "That would explain him being so friendly with someone as young as you."

Kaito already knew about Heiji being aware of it, Conan was sure. He's seen them work together various times - heard them talk on the phone, as well. Not to mention he's joined them on an investigation disguised as Hakuba once.

He wondered if the blond detective even knew about that.

"It probably goes without saying that if those guys in black ever find out that I'm still alive, they'll want to kill me and everyone I've been associated with. That's how they do things." Shinichi continued with his explanation, leaving his other musings for later. "So the less you know about them and the less you get involved with the whole thing, the better."

That earned him a skeptic look from Kaito. "You're kidding, right?"

"I disagree with that as well." Hakuba clearly joined the thief's side on that one.

"I already saw that those guys like to blow up things first, ask questions later." Kuroba added, trying to make a point. "If they find out we're acquainted, they won't really stop to ask us how much we actually know about them from you or not, will they?"

Shinichi went silent at that, a foul feeling nesting itself in his gut. Kid only confirmed what he didn't want to admit to himself all this time.

It didn't really matter whether Ran knew the truth or not, did it? If push came to shove, they'd burn down Mouri's Detective Agency and kill everyone inside of it whether they'd be aware of anything or not, no questions asked.

Unless… Vermouth could hinder the Organization from doing it, somehow. Jodie did tell him what happened after he's lost consciousness back at the docks, and Shinichi was convinced the woman didn't want Ran getting hurt as much as she didn't want him getting hurt, for one reason or another. Maybe Sharon could figure something out, if worst ever came to worst.

Not that putting his faith in Black Organization members was something he was comfortable with doing to begin with.

"Hey, don't look so gloomy."

Kaito's voice brought him back from his thoughts, and Conan realized it was better to stop thinking on such case scenarios before he started freaking out on them further.

"No sane person would even consider a high-schooler turning seven. Logic is still on your side and nobody is about to die here." Kuroba murmured in assurance. "I'd say the more we know, the more we'll be prepared for whatever circumstances that might happen, and the more we can help."

"Help?" Shinichi asked, not really expecting to hear that, and also clearly surprising Kaito with his own puzzlement in turn.

"Don't you want us to?"

That took a moment of hesitation on Conan's part. As much as he found that kind of offer alluring… it still meant that he would be getting two more people in danger. Did he want that? Wouldn't it be selfish on his part?

"As much as I appreciate the offer… I'd really rather not get you guys involved." Shinichi failed to hide the hint of sadness in his voice as he finally spoke. "It's just too dangerous."

Kuroba pouted in a somewhat thoughtful way.

"Then… how about you consider us two pairs of ears that would be willing to listen and help you with your deductions, at least? I may not be a detective like Hakuba, but…"

But he was Kid. Kid wouldn't be any less fit for the job.

"You don't have that many people you can actually talk to without putting your child mask on, right?" There was something to Kaito's voice, like he knew what he was talking about from personal experience. "I can only imagine how tiring that needs to be."

The small detective blinked, looking at the two.

"While I agree that I wouldn't mind lending an ear and a piece of mind simply because I'm curious about this whole case now," Hakuba was the one to speak up this time, "I don't understand how you're so merrily convinced you'll be able to do the same, Kuroba. Don't you have some convincing to do, first?"

"Convincing?" Conan asked in the magician's stead.

"That's right." Saguru confirmed, his voice turning serious as he looked at Kaito again. "Convincing me not to turn you in to the police. For now, I'm being considerate of your injury, but you're clearly forgetting I just found out Kid's identity, and hiding that information from the task force would make me an accomplice of the thief."

Right… Wait, didn't Hakuba say he was contemplating whether to turn him in or not? That he was more interested in his motives? Did something change in the meantime? … Come to think of it, Saguru only told him about his musings; Kaito didn't hear it since he was with Araide next room.

"So, basically… You want me to reveal the reason why I do what I do and hope that's good enough." Kuroba concluded, sounding somewhat displeased. "And what if my reason isn't good enough for a detective like you?"

Shinichi wasn't sure what the 'for a detective like him' part was supposed to mean, but with the way the magician pointed it out, it needed to be of some significance.

"I can tell that you're looking for something in particular, at least." Hakuba decided to share a piece of his thoughts. "But you need to have it in your possession in order to be able to tell whether it's the right thing or not."

"Hmm, do tell." Kaito smirked, clearly intrigued with that reasoning. "Well then, why don't you try and guess? You're a detective, aren't you?" Something challenging appeared in the dark-haired teen's eyes, as if he was positive his classmate would never figure him out. "Why do you think Kaitou Kid steals, Hakuba?"

"Not making this easy, are you?" The challenge was answered with just as much enthusiasm from the half-British detective, though. "Fine. I will share my deductions concerning Kid with you."

Before Saguru continued, he opened up his pocket watch. His expression softened as he checked what time it was.

"However, I'd like to suggest that we stop here and call it a day. It's gotten rather late." To both his and Kaito's surprise, it seemed like they wouldn't get to hear anything quite yet. "Some of us do have school tomorrow, and at least one of us could use some proper rest."

"What, no pajama party?" Kuroba just had to joke, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Conan checked his own wristwatch, surprised to find the time already being way after midnight. Well, that sure flew by fast. As much as he was reluctant to admit it, Hakuba did have a point.

"That actually sounds like a good idea. I can ask Hakase to call me in sick for school. I couldn't care less about my attendance with more important things going on." Shinichi concluded.

Saguru nodded to that. "Alright. I shall skip classes tomorrow as well, then. It doesn't make much difference for me, either."

"Wow. Kid is turning ace detectives into delinquents." Kaito seemed both amused and proud of himself. "It's a date."

"Don't go Kid-happy and run away on us." Conan threw at him, half-joking.

"I'd _never._"

The three quickly finished their tea (or what was still left of it, anyway,) and Saguru called someone before going out of his way to wash the mugs, not wanting to leave a mess behind. The blond detective suggested that his housekeeper could give Shinichi a lift back to his place, while they were already at it. Hakuba insisted that no matter what actual age Conan was, he wouldn't let someone who looked like a elementary-school-kid run around the streets at night.

With how arrogant and self-absorbed Conan remembered Saguru being sometimes, he was actually surprised to see him acting so considerate. He thanked him and took him up on the offer, glad that he wouldn't have to bother Okiya at such a late hour.

They made plans to meet up at Kuroba's place tomorrow again. As soon as Hakuba's housekeeper arrived, Kaito was also informed of having more chocolate bars waiting in the fridge for him, and both Conan and Saguru left.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Shinichi received a phone mail message from an unknown number.<p>

It was a single: "**?**"

He wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. Kuroba knew about the thing that's been going on with their dads. But that question mark was probably meant to ask whether it was indeed him or not, this time around.

Conan wondered how that bloody thief even got his number to begin with.

It occurred to him that he did lend his phone to Kid back at his place. He had no idea when and how, but apparently that was enough for Kaito to do his magic.

Sneaky bastard.

Shinichi back sent a single "**!**" for confirmation, quietly chuckling to himself in amusement.

_—t.b.c._

* * *

><p><strong>Nayru's Note:<strong> This chapter has a double treat, coming along with a fanart that a friend of mine drew for me. You'll need to check it out on AO3 or from my profile, though, since ffnet won't let me post it here. :c_  
><em>


	6. The beginning with pandora revelations

**Nayru's Note:** Before you start reading this chapter, I advise that you spare a moment to go to youtube, and find something called "RE:CHORD - One Ok Rock - The Beginning - SCB-R1." It will give you a better understanding and overall picture of something happening in the story later on. (The Acapella version works, too, but I suggest listening to it after the normal one, if you don't know the song.)

If you for whatever reason don't care enough to do that, then just carry on and use your imagination, instead. That works, too. c:

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 06: The beginning with pandora revelations<strong>

* * *

><p>"Did you also get a message from an unknown number yesterday?"<p>

Those were the words that greeted Shinichi the next morning, when he got into Saguru's car again.

It turned out that Agasa's house was was more or less on the way from Kaito's to Hakuba's, so the blond detective suggested to pick him up on his way there again. It was nice having things being so convenient sometimes.

"Good morning to you, too." Conan spoke with a yawn. "Was it a single question mark?"

"So it _was_ Kuroba." Saguru seemed frustrated with the realization. "After you told us about that whole syndicate, I was starting to consider all kinds of possibilities."

"Ah… Does that mean you ignored it?"

Saguru pressed fingers to his closed eyes, tiredly rubbing against the skin. "I figured it was better to be safe than sorry."

Well, crap… This was already starting to rub them the wrong way. And now that Shinichi thought about it, it made sense for Hakuba to be paranoid about something like this, after he's told them what he did, implying the danger behind everything. Chances always were - however slim - that a Black Organization member found out about what transpired and was the one to send out the messages to them.

Maybe mentioning more details to the two was a better idea at this point, just as Kid insisted, after all… They already knew more than they should. It would have been a lot safer if they knew what to expect, rather than being left in the dark. Exchanging phone numbers for any future case scenarios (like this one, for instance) would probably work in their favor, too.

When Conan took out his cell phone and flipped it open, something else occurred to him all of a sudden, and he had to wonder how he's missed it up till now. Hakuba seemed a little...

"… How much sleep did you get?"

Saguru looked at him tiredly, the bags under his eyes becoming even more apparent. "I didn't."

… Well. No wonder he sounded so grumpy from the start, then. Shinichi would laugh, if it hadn't been partially his fault. He was actually feeling sorry for this.

"Don't tell me… you couldn't sleep because of that message."

"What? No, it's not the organization I was losing sleep over…" Hakuba explained, his grumpy demeanor eventually turning into something more relaxed. "I guess I'm stressing over it a bit too much."

Saguru closed his eyes and slumped back against the seat, a tiny smile appearing on his lips.

"How would you feel if a case that meant a lot to you, and which you've been working on since forever, had a chance to finally be solved?"

Conan blinked, not expecting that kind of admission coming from someone like Hakuba. But putting two and two together was pretty easy, as was understanding the implication behind the words. If Shinichi knew about having a showdown with the Organization's Boss the next day, he doubted he'd get much sleep the day before, either.

"Stupid. Aren't you supposed to give it your all today?" He could still be a hypocrite about it, though. "Kuroba won't be going easy on either of us, you know."

"I'll be fine." Saguru insisted, even if he sounded more tired than fine. "We still have around forty five minutes before we get there... It's enough for a short nap."

That was assuming he'd even be able to fall asleep. Shinichi knew from his own experience, that sometimes, when you passed a certain point of fatigue, you could paradoxically be too tired to actually fall asleep. Not to mention that a car wasn't the most ideal of places for resting.

… Well, maybe Conan could help the London detective with that.

* * *

><p>The small boy shook the other awake once they were at their destination. Hakuba seemed even worse for wear after his short (forced) nap, but Shinichi believed it would do him some good after he managed to wake up more properly.<p>

Saguru exchanged a few words with his housekeeper as they exited the vehicle, and soon enough, they were left alone, standing on the street in front of Kuroba's house.

That's when they heard it.

"_I whisper into the night~! Telling me it's not my time and don't give up~!_"

A woman was singing along to some kind of song, and apparently the thing was set to be so loud that they could hear it out in the street. There must have been a window open somewhere…

Conan noted that the next moment, it was a guy singing, instead. So it was more than one person. Was there a karaoke party going on, somewhere? … At such an early hour?

Confusion only grew when a voice that he swore sounded like Ran's joined into the picture.

Shinichi almost had a heart attack. Why would _Ran_ possibly be here? Did Kuroba tell her something (_he was calm, he was calm_), and bring her here? And now…

… Wait…

The small detective looked over at Saguru, noticing him staring at one of the open windows in Kaito's house, where a pigeon just flew into. The half-British teen seemed a bit less perplexed than he was, at least.

"_They might call me crazy~! For saying I'd fight until there is no more~!_"

"Is that… Kuroba?" Conan asked, blinking in disbelief and somewhat… in awe. If it was indeed that guy, jumping from one voice to the other in a matter of milliseconds…

Hakuba smirked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It's him, alright."

They both stood there and listened to the constantly changing voices with intrigue.

Conan was actually kind of jealous. Not only could the thief emit other people's voices without the help of any device, he was also quite a decent singer. … Unlike him. Shinichi couldn't sing for the life of him and just made people's ears bleed whenever he attempted to remind himself of that fact.

Kaito was nice to listen to, at least.

"He's… kind of amazing, isn't he?" The small detective eventually spoke up, a hint of dry amusement in his voice.

"He's definitely something." Hakuba agreed, sounding somewhat fond, too. "No normal person would be able to pull something like this off."

"_As the world falls apart around us, all we can do is hold on~!_"

"Not like that, no."

Conan pulled on his bow-tie, taking a long look at it, then turned to stare at Saguru. Mischievous and very tempting ideas suddenly swarmed his mind.

Should they?

* * *

><p>"<em>Don't worry it's safe right here in my arms~!<em>"

"_**BAKAAAIIITOOO!**_"

Aoko's voice echoed throughout the house, and Kuroba jumped in shock, the words he was singing abruptly turning into a startled yell. Flailing, he turned in the direction of his room's entrance, trying to calm his poor heart and hope his face didn't look as terrified as he felt it did.

Conan was on the verge of dying from laughter, with the way he held his sides, and Hakuba just stood there, snickering quietly to himself.

It came to the thief's attention that Saguru had the small detective's bow-tie in his hands.

… _He didn't._ He bloody _didn't!_ That bastard!

"… How long have you been here?" Kaito asked through gritted teeth, smiling as if the devil had just possessed him. They were back earlier than Saguru told him they'd be.

"Long enough." Hakuba just gave him a smug smile.

"You're singing to your doves." Conan established, sounding too amused. "_Really?_"

"Hey, it's a better audience than none! These guys are good listeners. And they don't complain, like certain people!" Kuroba complained, as if the two detectives didn't know _anything_. "Besides, it's the best kind of practice. Kuroba Kaito may be a bit out of the loop right now, but Kaitou Kid needs to stay fit with his skills, thanks!"

The magician huffed, crossing his arms before his chest.

"Just so we're clear: I'm going to kick your asses for this." There was something sinister in his voice all of a sudden, and he was clearly talking about them using Aoko against him in such a deceitful way.

Conan shrugged. "Hey, consider it payback. You did the same for me with Ran's voice, once."

On top of a skyscraper when they were about to have a showdown with one another, at that. It was an effective distraction, but still a foul move on the thief's part. No to mention that he's dressed up as Shinichi without his consent back then—

"_What was that…? Oh no, Shinichi~ What are you doing~?!_"

Kaito mimicked Ran's voice on the spot, making it sound as obnoxious as he could, as if she were in the middle of something… very, very naughty. He made some exaggerated gesticulations, getting into the part well.

"_No, stop~! Not there~! Shi~ni~chi~!_"

It probably went without saying that Conan was red as a tomato in two seconds flat, eyes wide and flailing as he tried to find his voice and yell at the thief to stop. Hell, even Hakuba was blushing from witnessing that kind of performance.

Thankfully for the two, Kuroba was mindful enough to cut it out on his own. Once he was done with his theatrics, he stared at the two with a smug smirk and a composure the two detectives definitely didn't have at the moment.

"Any other complaints?"

Conan stumbled for words, but all he could really do was cover his mouth and nose with his hands, shakily taking a step back out of the room. The poor kid seemed more shaken up than Kuroba thought he'd be, which was kind of amusing. Well, score for him, he supposed.

When Shinichi suddenly ran for the bathroom without a word, Kaito wasn't sure whether to be worried or to laugh.

"… Did he just get a nosebleed?"

Hakuba closed his mouth and swallowed at the question, as if the words made him come back to reality. "… Huh? Oh. I'm not sure..."

"Wow, you guys are _so done_." Kuroba snickered in slight awe and disbelief. This was just too precious. "I need to try doing this more often."

"… You have no shame."

"It comes with practice."

Building up a good poker face did take him years and years of practice, after all. And as far as Kaito was aware of, none of the detectives had any actual idea how many times he's been freaking out on them because of something going wrong for him, simply because he didn't let it show. His father taught him the basics well.

Beside the perplexity and _adorable_ lack of composure, there was also something else about Hakuba that suddenly caught Kuroba's attention, though.

"Heh. You didn't sleep all night again, did you?" The thief asked with a hint of amusement, finally getting up to approach the other by the door frame. "I should have known this would happen."

It was almost like that time after that one heist, where Kaito was deadbeat and Hakuba was late for class. He looked like a zombie because he ended up pulling an all-nighter in his laboratory, doing research on a hair sample Kid had left behind.

Hakuba just stared at him, not bothering to hide his displease, whoever it was more directed at - the thief or himself alone.

"I'm hoping you were smarter for a change."

Wow. It was rare to see Saguru admitting to a current weakness - and not denying being in the wrong and doing something stupid, at that.

"I slept like a log." Kaito admitted with pride, although with the way he's said it, it should have given Hakuba enough of a hint that it was a lie.

The thief eventually went past the door frame, turning to follow his favorite critic's footsteps with a lazy demeanor.

"Hey, Tantei-kun! You need help in there?"

* * *

><p>Conan sat by the table with tissues stuffed into his nose, carrying an expression that threatened to murder people.<p>

"I guess we're settling for coffee today." Wise words were spoken, with Kuroba already getting on the job.

He insisted for Hakuba to just sit down, because he looked like he would stumble over his own feet and pass out any second. Kaito might not have gotten that much sleep himself, but a few hours were still better than none. He was holding up a lot better than his classmate was.

Once the mugs with the currently life-saving liquid were served, Saguru waited for their host to sit down and join them before he took a quick glimpse at his pocket watch and then unceremoniously got to the chase.

"Kaitou Kid. Age: 17; height: 174 centimeters; weight: 58 kilograms; blood type: 'B.' Ambidextrous. Master of disguise; is able to emit other people's voices. Athletic in sports, although he's horrible at ice-skating. Remarkable memorizing skills. Has concentration, but lacks willpower. Inspector Nakamori pointed out that he has a bad personality."

Hakuba recited the words as if he were reading them all out of a book. … One he did not have before him.

Shinichi figured he'd simply lay back and listen what the London detective had to say, and see how this whole thing was bound to develop. He didn't want to turn against Kuroba by helping Saguru with his deductions right now. Two against one would be unfair. He was set on taking a more neutral stance for the time being.

Besides, he had a soaking tissue to worry about. … Which he should be paying the thief back for, actually. Why was he being so considerate? He was really becoming too generous lately.

"His first appearance took place in Paris, 19 years ago. He then disappeared 11 years later, was presumed dead. He's now back after a 8-year of absence and primarily active in Japan. Aliases: 'Kaitou 1412,' 'The Modern Lupin,' 'The Moonlight Magician.' Reason for stealing: unknown."

Kaito rested a cheek on his hand, quietly listening to the half-British detective. He would most likely give off the impression of being bored, if it wasn't for the serious look he was giving the other teen.

"Kid mainly targets jewels with some kind of history, and after a successful heist, he returns them - either to the owner, or the police. Usually, he returns the items on the following day, or if the heist doesn't take place during a full moon - which it usually does - he returns them right after the following one. The full moon might be of some significance, or it might be simply symbolic, to upkeep the 'Moonlight Magician' title. Like I already mentioned before, I have a theory that you're looking for something in particular, but you need to have it in your possession in order to be able to tell whether it's the right thing or not. You also have an assistant that helps you out with your tricks sometimes—"

"I'm officially disturbed." Kuroba finally interrupted in an unusually serious voice. "You really _are_ obsessed with all of this, aren't you?"

Saguru's brow twitched the slightest bit, but decided to ignore that remark and went on.

"Considering I already know about your father, I assume he he was the original Kid. The thief's disappearance overlaps with Kuroba Toichi's time of death. Inspector Nakamori said that he's been chasing after Kid since he was in his twenties, and it couldn't have been you all those years back; you were too young back then. So you took up the job after him once you came of age and were ready to do so."

"_Bzzt_, wrong."

Kaito interrupted again, and Hakuba went silent, staring at the magician. Kuroba let the silence stretch, but he eventually continued with an explanation, even if he didn't sound pleased to be doing it.

"My father never wanted me to find out that he was the original Kid. According to Jii-chan, anyway. Well, I do have some evidence pointing against that. But he never told me anything on his own."

Saguru blinked, the puzzle pieces he had clearly not fitting in together on the board. "… So you didn't know?"

"Remember how Kid made his first re-appearance after being gone for those 8 years? That wasn't me. Nor was I aware of it having anything to do with with me." Kaito explained, figuring it would be better to just admit it. "I found out that my father was Kaitou Kid on the same day that other Kid made his re-appearance. So I put on the attire I stumbled upon and went out to meet them, hoping I could find some answers by doing so. It's when I found out that my father's death wasn't an accident."

Kuroba paused, giving the two detectives a moment to process the information.

"I continued picking up Kid's attire because I thought it would lead me to the people that killed him. And what do you know, I was right."

"So you're… doing it for revenge?" Hakuba asked.

That actually made the magician think. "… Partially, I guess." Kaito concluded. "But that's not the main reason."

With that, he turned in Shinichi's direction.

"Remember how I told you about opening Pandora's Box, Tantei-kun?"

Conan blinked, not really expecting to be brought into the conversation all of a sudden. "Back at Kichiemon's Mansion?"

How could he forget that? He's let the thief off the hook then, for helping Genta and the rest of his friends.

"Mm." He knew he could count on his favorite critic to remember. "I'm on the search for something the bad guys want to get their hands on very, very much. It's something akin to a Pandora's Box." Kid explained. "I want to find it and destroy it, so that they can't open it."

"You want to destroy it?" Saguru asked. "… And what might this whole 'Pandora Box' be?"

"That's the part that a detective like you might not believe or understand." Kaito sounded certain. "Being a magician, I always knew every trick had a logical explanation, and actual _magic_ never existed for me, either. But then I came into contact with people that proved me otherwise."

Like Akako, who was an actual witch. That girl could do crazy things that defied any kind of logic. Then there was Shinichi and one of his female friends he's dressed up as back inside of the train…

"Well, Tantei-kun might, I suppose. Considering he's also seen some things that 'a logical mind' can't explain. But believe me when I say that if Pandora ever fell into the bad guys' hands, they would use it for wrong reasons and the world would become a very scary place."

"You're stealing gems, hoping to find the right one… so that the 'bad guys' don't get their hands on it." Hakuba raised an eyebrow, his voice anything but skeptic.

"Yup."

"So, what is this Pandora supposed to do?"

"I won't tell you that." Kuroba sounded set on that. "Didn't I say it before? Knowing what's inside of the box before opening it wouldn't be fun at all!" He repeated the words he already said in front of his favorite critic once. He was sure Shinichi remembered them well, too. "Besides, with your logical, critical minds, you wouldn't believe me, even if I told you."

Saguru didn't seem too happy by that claim. "Do you even have proof that it exists?"

"Would a criminal organization be after it, threatening to kill me if I didn't stop getting in their way, if it wasn't real?"

"… They've been threatening you?"

"… Kind of."

"You were out there, _knowing_ these guys had guns and could bring in snipers, and you weren't carrying a vest." Hakuba sounded like he couldn't believe his ears. "I thought you were smart, but how much of an idiot _are_ you?"

"_Bite me._" They've already talked about this. Would Hakuba ever give it a rest? "They were pretty surprised to see Kid being back, though, so I assume they were involved with the original one's death." Kuroba continued. "I… don't know what my father's actual reasons for stealing were yet." Kaito was pretty sure that both Jii-chan and his mother knew something. But they didn't want to tell him, for some reason. "But I'm sure I'll find all the answers, eventually, if I continue doing what I'm doing."

Saguru frowned, looking somewhat… defeated. As if he was expecting to hear something else from Kid.

"Disappointed?" Kaito raised an eyebrow, giving his classmate a flat kind of look. "I did ask, what if my reasons for stealing weren't good enough for you?"

Hakuba was silent for a moment, but eventually spoke up. "It's… something personal for you. But you're not doing it for bad reasons. There were times when you went out of your way to help people, various times. You're also careful, so that nobody gets hurt during your heists. You're breaking the law, but you mean no harm to anyone."

"Well, why would I want to harm others?" Kuroba almost sounded offended. "I'm a magician, first and foremost. Magicians want the audience to have fun, experience something wonderful, witness a performance they'll never forget." He pointed out with fervor. "Magicians want to show people that dreams do come true."

"You're such a romantic." Conan couldn't help but comment, clearly amused by the whole admission.

Kuroba tried not to pout. He failed. "And you detectives obviously can't dream."

Hakuba closed his eyes with a sigh, muttering something to himself. "Good grief..."

The next moment, the London detective reached into one of his shirt pockets. He got out what looked like a piece of white fabric and placed it on the table before them.

It was undoubtedly one of Kaitou Kid's gloves.

"Here… I'm returning it to you." The blond teen announced. "I retrieved it after it got snatched away as evidence from the crime scene, so that the police wouldn't get your fingerprints or DNA from it."

Kuroba gave Saguru a surprised look. He had a good idea where that glove was from, but...

"But this happened a while back…" Way before they talked about any of this, and when they still barely knew one another. His assisted heist with Nightmare… Hakuba had his suspicions, but had no real proof of him being Kid back then. "… Why?"

"It wouldn't get into the possession of the police unless you weren't trying to save a person's life." Hakuba explained, filling Conan in on the matter. "I didn't find it fair."

For once, Kaito didn't know what to say. He reached out to take the glove into his hands and stared at it thoughtfully.

"While we're already at it, I also have something I wanted to return." The smaller detective interrupted the two, fumbling for something in his pants' pockets as well.

Soon enough, a broken monocle joined the pile. The one Kid lost after being presumably shot in the right eye by Scorpion.

"… No way." Kuroba spoke with a hint of fondness and slight amusement in his voice. "You held onto it all this time?"

"Well, you already payed me back for it. Way too many times."

The thief inspected the broken item, smiling to himself with a fondness neither Conan nor Hakuba ever remembered him showing. Time seemed to go still for a few good seconds.

"Silly detectives, what is this humble thief going to do with you?"

Conan smirked at that. "I might have an idea." Content to see that Kid was all ears, he took one last sip out of his mug before handing it to the magician. "You could make us more coffee."

Kaito chuckled, clearly not expecting such a trivial request. "Sounds fair enough."

Just like with the tea yesterday, Shinichi drank his coffee with milk and a single spoon of sugar, Hakuba preferred it completely black, while the thief helped himself to both a ton of milk and a handful of the sweet stuff mixed into it.

Conan silently thought to himself that he was in the presence of two guys who were opposites in a lot of ways. No wonder they bickered with one another so much. Then again, didn't opposites also attract? He vaguely wondered what Hattori's preferences regarding his drinks were. They ate a lot of times together, but he couldn't recall whether he's used sugar with anything or not.

"Pandora… is a gem inside of a gem. One which you can see under the light of a full moon only."

Kid finally admitted, figuring that keeping that one fact secret wouldn't make much of a difference at this point. Happen what may, he was prepared for the detectives to laugh at him.

"There's a silly legend behind it - one which I'm going to spare you the details of - but generally… if you know what to do with it, it's said to grant immortality."

"… Immortality?" Hakuba asked, making a weird, perplexed face. Which was only to be expected.

Although, to the thief's surprise, his favorite critic didn't look like he was about to laugh anytime soon. His expression was that of shock, as if he just received a very crucial puzzle piece - that, sadly, didn't mean anything good - instead.

"… What are the chances of someone else already having found it, without the organization's knowledge?"

"Whoa, hold on…" Shinichi was taking this with grave seriousness. Was there something he wasn't aware of? "What makes you say that?"

"I know a person from the Black Organization… that doesn't seem to age." Conan admitted, something dark in his voice. "She's been the same for the past twenty years, and I have proof she wasn't wearing any kind of disguise the last time I came into contact with her."

Kaito blinked, wondering who Tantei-kun could have been talking about.

"… Are you sure that person doesn't have something to do with the poison they've given you, though?" The magician asked, then mused out loud. "Unless… Pandora itself is also tied in with those drugs, somehow."

The small detective fell silent, frowning, clearly contemplating it. "We certainly can't rule out the possibility…"

"That would mean that the syndicates can't be connected, right? They'd know about it otherwise."

Well, they still didn't have any actual proof to confirm that theory. For all Shinichi knew, Vermouth could have been plotting something bigger behind the Organization's back, without their knowledge. She'd be able to pull off a lot of things. Who knew what that woman's actual goals were.

Conan turned to look at the other two boys, resigning himself to something he was wondering about for the past dozen of hours. Kaito practically spilled his heart out before them, so it would be only fair to repay his resolve by doing the same.

He told them everything he knew, as briefly as he could. Well, _almost_ everything.

He mentioned every detail he could think of that might have been relevant in regards to the Black Organization, somehow. All the trails he stumbled upon, and all the encounters he had with them. He told them what he knew regarding Gin, Vodka, Chianti, Korn… Tequila and Pisco, as well. He mentioned Vermouth knowing his secret, but not selling him out, for reasons yet unknown to him. He also told them that she was the earlier-mentioned person that didn't seem to age.

Shinichi also mentioned the FBI's involvement, but not too many details about them. He also brought up Bourbon and his confusion regarding him.

He left Haibara out of the picture, of course. As he did Akai Shuichi. And Kir. There were some things that were still better left off as secrets - or mysteries, as Kid liked to call it. Especially when people's lives might have been at stake.

Kaito found it funny that they were clearly involved with a messed up liquor store and a zoo.

* * *

><p>After exchanging a few more words and finishing his second coffee, Conan excused himself, claiming that he still had something to take care of and needed to leave early. Whether their whole talk had anything to do with it was a mystery to the two, but the fact remained that Kaito and Hakuba were being left alone to their thoughts.<p>

"What a crazy day." Kuroba remarked in a tired tone. "I think I'm getting a headache from all the information and brainstorming."

"Are you certain your lack of sleep isn't at fault there?"

"Weren't you the one who stayed up all night?" The thief threw his classmate an unimpressed look. "I bet you were working on getting your whole speech ready."

"Speech?" That clearly wasn't the case. "I was ready to point all of that out yesterday."

"Right. I almost forgot about the 'obsession' part."

"It's called 'good memory.'" Saguru wasn't letting himself get provoked by this again. A change of topic would have been nice. "… How's your wound?"

"Alright, I think." The magician murmured. "Nothing opened up. That doctor's stitches hold everything together like they should."

Right, Araide stitched the wound up yesterday. He needed to give Kuroba some kind of anesthetic when he worked on it, didn't he? How was the thief still cheerfully on his feet after that was honestly beyond him.

"Well, I should still change the bandages for you."

Keeping the wound clean was still something they should be paying a lot of attention to. Even if it didn't bleed anymore, an infection could always happen.

Kaito had the most unimpressed expression on his face when Hakuba turned to look at him.

"Also… I wanted to apologize."

Well, that triggered a reaction. Kuroba lifted his head from his hand and straightened up, evidently wondering what the hell was happening all of a sudden. "Apologize?"

"… For bringing up Aoko during our conversation the day before."

Oh. Well, the detective needed to know that had upset him quite a deal. Aoko hating the Kid was a touchy subject for him. But it's not like that was against the rules, or anything. Hakuba knew one of his weaknesses and simply decided to use it against him. 'All was fair in love and war,' wasn't it?

"Don't worry about it." Kaito shrugged it off, as if it was no big deal. He was basically asking for it, anyway. "I was being rude to you, as well."

With the whole handcuff thing… even if Saguru was the one to start it.

"Hey, Hakuba…"

It was Kaito who spoke up again, his voice surprisingly hesitant. If the detective didn't know better, he'd go as far to call it shy.

"Could you make me that tea of yours again? I tried doing it myself, but… it wasn't nearly as good."

Saguru blinked at the other teen, clearly not expecting such a request. But it wasn't long before he smirked, somewhat entertained by the idea.

"What kind of tea did you do it with?"

Kuroba looked like he didn't follow. "Um… the normal kind?"

"By normal, you mean green tea?" Hakuba assumed. "It works best with black. Or some other strong kind."

"… I see."

"Four teaspoons of sugar again?"

Kaito grinned back at his classmate.

No other answer was needed, was there?

* * *

><p>When Hakuba opened the fridge to get the milk out, he was a little confused to find all of the chocolate he's left there the day before to be missing.<p>

What in the bloody hell…

"Did you eat _all of it_?"

"… Wasn't I supposed to? You told me it was good for me." Kaito blinked, not understanding where the problem was.

"There were four bars in there... They were supposed to last you a while."

The disbelief in Saguru's voice was bordering with intrigue. How did Kuroba manage to eat all of that without puking? Did he stay up all night just to stuff his face with the bloody chocolate?

"You're going to get fat."

For a brief moment, the magician's expression turned into a terrified one.

Then he just pouted.

"Am not!"

* * *

><p>Kaito let Hakuba stay over at his place that night. The stupid detective almost passed out on him from lack of sleep, so he figured it would be cruel to just kick him out. Especially when he would return to him the next day for a bandage check, anyway. And it's not like he didn't have space for more people staying over.<p>

A phantom thief and a detective that dedicated his time and energy to catching him were sleeping under the same roof and the world wasn't ending yet. What a crazy, crazy day, indeed.

[I'll have a favor to ask of you,  
>once you're well again.]<p>

That was the message Kuroba got during the evening, when Saguru was already soundly out on his bed, probably dreaming of things detectives usually dreamed of. Like murders.

Kaito was about to reply with a yawn, when another message came, beating him to it.

[In secret.  
>Don't tell Hakuba.]<p>

… Interesting. If Shinichi asked him to keep it a secret from their London friend, then that could mean only one thing. It was something Saguru would never approve of.

Now, if that didn't scream of breaking the law, he didn't know what else it could be.

[Are we robbing a bank?]

—_t.b.c._

* * *

><p><strong>Nayru's Note:<strong> God, this chapter took me way too many sleepless nights to write. But it's finally out.

Hosio drew us something for this chapter again - like last time, you can find it either on my profile page or on AO3. She also said it might become a series of doodles. We need to motivate her, guys!

Also, guess what~ Next chapter, Heiji is finally going to appear!


	7. Three detectives and a phantom thief

**~4 Idiots In A Closet~**  
><strong>Chapter 07: Three detectives and a phantom thief<strong>

* * *

><p>The message exchange didn't go far. After the small detective told him if would be better to talk about it in person - for safety reasons - they haven't addressed the topic further. And by mentioning 'safety reasons,' Kuroba had the feeling that Shinichi didn't have just Saguru in mind.<p>

His favorite critic didn't come to visit him the following day to talk about anything, though. Kaito was mostly stuck with Hakuba. They ended up playing various board games to pass the time - which, Kuroba had to admit, turned out to be surprisingly fun. Aoko also came to check up on him once school was over, curious if he ate all of the porridge she made for him earlier.

This time - to the thief's biggest displease - his childhood friend also brought Akako along. She might have helped him out in a pinch once, but that didn't mean he trusted her. And he was positive he'd be better off without the haunted girl snooping around his house, but it wasn't like he could do much about it without making Aoko suspicious.

It also came to the magician's attention that Saguru seemed to act… somewhat _different_, with Koizumi around.

Kaito wasn't sure what was up with that, but he knew that he didn't like it.

"How's your cold?"

The witch asked him in that unnerving voice as she gave him a sly look, sounding if she already knew everything there was to know about his situation. Well, at least she was mindful enough to approach him with her questions when the other two weren't paying much attention to them.

"Never been better," Kaito just threw back at her in an unimpressed demeanor, playing his usual game.

The rest of the day turned out to be pretty uneventful. Hakuba suggested that they make food again, and Kaito thanked the heavens he could say his appetite was back after a few days of rest and eat with everyone like a normal person would. Yakitori (pieces of fried chicken on sticks) and dango dumplings were on the menu this time, and everyone present helped with the preparation of the dishes.

"You're very skillful with your hands, Kuroba-kun," Akako commented in the middle of their dumpling molding by the table, and Kaito had to wonder what was up with that girl this time. It was true that he made the most amount of the ball-like pieces out of all of them so far, though.

"Of course," he said as if it were obvious, playfully hiding one dumpling in the palm of his hand, only to show it having 'changed' into a into a spoon the next second. "I'm an aspiring magician. My hands are my life."

The next moment, the spoon was gone, and the dumpling was back. Aoko blinked, then grimaced at the performance, as if realizing something. "… I am not eating that."

Kaito laughed and threw the piece of batter out the window, knowing that the pigeons would eat all of it, anyway. Saguru gave him an evil look, clearly wanting to remind him he shouldn't be making any abrupt, straining movements like that.

Later that day, Kuroba realized something funny.

He was good with his hands, but wasn't Tantei-kun skillful with his legs, instead? With the way he kicked his soccer ball sometimes…

They could really make the baddest team around.

It turned out that Conan couldn't come because he got tangled in some kind of murder case. … Again. Kuroba swore that guy was some kind of death magnet with how frequently he stumbled on those all the time.

* * *

><p>Shinichi did say that he wanted something from him once he got better - but that didn't mean he couldn't listen to the sole request earlier than that, right? And considering Kaito has always been a curious person, he couldn't just sit back and do nothing for another day.<p>

Thus, he came up with a brilliant plan that couldn't possibly go wrong in any way.

[Rise and shine, Tantei-kun! ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ  
>Guess who happens to be outside of the agency?<br>Think you can come out and play?:)]

Kaito sent the message to his favorite critic with an amused smirk.

Now all that was left for him to do was wait and hope the other was already on his feet. It was barely six in the morning. He could have warned Shinichi of wanting to come over beforehand, of course, but the element of surprise would be lost that way. And his fool-proof plan also required for Hakuba to be asleep and unaware that he sneaked out of the house without him noticing - otherwise he'd never hear the end of it again, he was sure.

With a yawn, Kuroba stuffed his hands into his dark leather jacket's pockets and leaned against one of the roadsigns. He was dressed in a casual manner, with simple jeans and a black turtleneck, along with a cap to hide his messy hair. He didn't need a disguise to blend in with the crowd. … Of course, there wasn't much of a crowd on the streets at such an early hour. Kaito still kept a good distance away from the agency itself for obvious reasons, but he was close enough for Conan to notice him once he'd come down.

"… Kudo?"

Kuroba opened his eves and blinked to the familiar voice, only to be greeted by none other than… Hattori Heiji.

Right behind him was the girl that accompanied him more times than not - Toyama Kazuha.

… Well, _shit_.

Kaito's brain made a somersault as it urged him to make a run for it, but his legs felt like they were suddenly rooted to the ground. He tried not to let any of his inner panic show as he wondered what did he just get himself into and how screwed he actually was.

"Is that ya?" Heiji asked in that weird accent of his as he leaned into his direction, giving him a suspicious look. It was probably no wonder that he also sounded somewhat confused. "… What are ya doing here?"

"I knew it!" The Osakan girl suddenly yelled from behind her friend's back, pointing fingers at him. "Yer spying on Ran-chan, aren'chya!"

"Moron! Why would he need ta spy on his girl?" Hattori protested, looking at Kazuha as if she were some kind of idiot.

"What do ya mean 'why'? He's always away, making Ran-chan worry! And then he comes here like this and—!"

Kaito was about to come to terms with his situation and say something, but the two started yelling at each other as if the rest of the world didn't exist for them anymore. … The magician vaguely wondered if that's how it looked like whenever he and Hakuba were starting to go at it, too.

Well, it wasn't like he was about to complain. The less attention those guys payed to him, the easier it would be for him to—

"… Shinichi?"

Kuroba froze, not daring to turn around. He knew that female voice all too well, and he prayed to all that was holy while making a mental note to never - _ever_ - come anywhere _near_ Mouri's Detective Agency without a disguise ever again.

"… Yo, Ran." Kaito greeted his 'girlfriend' with a forced smile, nervously turning to look at her. It was probably a good thing that the guys from Osaka didn't even notice her yet and went along with their loud barking. The whole commotion made it slightly easier to improvise.

To his demise, Ran clearly wasn't one to be fooled that easily anymore, if that suspicious look she was suddenly giving him was of any indication. … Kid probably had their last encounter to thank for that.

"Wait, you're not Shinichi…"

The woman frowned at him, looking back and forth between him and the bickering couple behind him. Without letting her guard down - _oh, boy_ - she leaned a bit towards him, raising a hand to say something without the other two overhearing.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Judging by the tone of her voice, Ran knew _exactly_ who he was, and Kaito had a very good idea he wouldn't be getting out of this as easily as last time…

"Ran-chan!" Kazuha suddenly yelled with that annoying voice of hers, interrupting them. "This guy's been spying on ya!"

"Hey, hey… I wasn't spying on anyone…" Kuroba finally spoke up, shaking his hands before him in a sign of innocence.

"Well, whatever he was doing, I'm sure he had his reasons!" Heiji swiftly threw and arm around his shoulder in a friendly manner - like that was supposed to help with anything? - and it took all of Kaito's willpower not to flinch away from it. "Right, Kudo?"

Unlike Ran, Hattori really seemed to believe he was Shinichi. As did Kazuha, apparently...

"Of course!" Kaito went along with Heiji's 'gotta save his bro' mode, giving the girl before him a goofy kind of smile. "It's just a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding!"

The words were followed by the magician bringing his hands together - in such a way so that the couple from Osaka wouldn't notice - silently pleading Ran to go along with it and not sell him out.

It felt like hours, when the world reduced itself to Mouri's judging stare and him.

"It's fine, Kazuha-chan." Eventually, a verdict was made. Ran turned to her female friend with a convincing smile. "Shinichi actually called me before coming here."

"_Eeh?_ Ya should have said so from the start, _geez!_" The girl with the pony tail didn't bother to hide her… disappointment.

When Kaito wondered for the hundredth time what kind of crazy people Shinichi was associated with, Heiji nudged him with an elbow - probably in order to get his attention and ask what happened.

He did get his attention, indeed, considering the action made Kuroba wince in pain. Clutching his poor side, he tried not to kneel over and silently convince himself that the wound wouldn't open up again from something like this - and that Hakuba wouldn't kill him, by the off-chance it actually did.

"Whoa, hey— ya alright?" Noticing his peril and clearly missing what's actually caused it, Heiji yelled in a worried tone, before his voice turned a quarter more silent. "… Is it happening already?"

Kaito could only guess what the detective meant by that.

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." The thief assured, trying his best not to sound too strained. The pain was bound to subside soon. "… False alarm."

"Come on Heiji, give da two some space!" Kazuha was back and she was clearly hungry for blood, with the way she started to yank her dark-skinned friend away from him. "Ya'll have plenty of time ta talk with Kudo-kun later on!"

"Hey, wait up! Let me go, ya moron—"

"And see? I told ya to warn them we were coming! Look where yer surprise visits got us—"

Toyama went on and on as she dragged Hattori towards the agency, leaving Ran and him behind.

Kuroba wasn't sure if he felt more relieved or more cornered by the fact.

"Consider it as thanks… For saving Conan-kun." Mouri eventually spoke up, urging him to follow her - which he reluctantly went along with. "But I still haven't forgiven you for deceiving me."

They both knew very well what she was talking about. The whole thing on-board Jirokichi's airship turned out to be… one hell of a crazy adventure, huh?

"Thanks." Kuroba really meant it. "And sorry about that… But you were about to sell me out to inspector Nakamori and I had to improvise."

"You were also trying to kiss me…" Now _that_ made him tense up. Kaito could see the slight blush forming on Ran's cheeks as she said it, although her tone of voice was way more angry than embarrassed. It even boarded on sarcastic. "Was that part of the improvisation, too?"

"Ah…" He was so screwed. Kuroba silently thanked the heavens Conan wasn't hearing this. "… That's because you thought I was Shinichi."

Which… wasn't making the situation any better for him, granted. Ran needed to think he was some kind of pervert by now.

To his surprise, the brown-haired girl didn't accuse him of being one. Her demeanor changed completely, instead.

"… How do you know so much about Shinichi and me?" Mouri's voice was soft, almost sad. "Even the UFO thing… Did Shinichi tell you about that?"

Crap, she sounded like she was about to start crying any second, and Kaito did his best not to panic. He needed to do this right, otherwise Tantei-kun would kill him.

"He didn't tell me anything. It was supposed to be a secret between you two, right?" Kid forced a reassuring smile. "I just happened to overhear it… at a bad time."

"Then…"

"I've only met him once or twice." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't entirely a lie, either. "I need to study people because of what I do, remember? This phantom thief deceives people in order to get what he wants, after all." For someone who should sound proud of it, he probably didn't give off that kind of impression. "That includes you, Mouri-san."

Kid looked at Ran with confidence and he could tell she was starting to get a little lost in regards to her own feelings all of a sudden.

"—Kudo?!"

Heiji's sudden, confused yell could have been probably heard from a hundred blocks away. Kaito had a very good idea what this meant and he honestly wished he had made a run for it beck when Hattori barely stumbled upon him.

Conan needed to finally read his message and come down from the agency to meet him. To his likely surprise, it was Heiji who he stumbled upon, instead of Kid.

Heiji, who was currently panicking from seeing two 'Kudos' at the same time and had no idea what was going on.

The moment Kuroba caught a glimpse of Tantei-kun's horrified expression upon noticing him with Ran, he wondered what would be worse: making a run for it _now_, or trying to fix this whole situation, somehow. The second option always had the possibility to backfire and make things even worse than they already were.

… Well, he wasn't called a phantom thief for nothing. It would either work, or they'd both go down trying.

"Ha! I sure got you there!" Kaito snickered, yelling at Heiji as he ran over to him and the 'kid.' He energetically hunched down next to the small boy and ruffled his hair with an amused grin. "The truth is, I'm actually this brat's cousin. I just came to see him."

Shinichi blinked in confusion before eventually settling for more of an unimpressed kind of look, his voice low. "Who are you calling a brat?"

Both Heiji and Kazuha just stared at them, dumbfounded. "… Cousin?"

Ran eventually joined their side, looking unsure. It was clearly Tantei-kun's cue to act.

"Kai-niichan came to visit, yay!" Conan suddenly chirped in the sweetest voice he could muster, flailing his arms in excitement.

* * *

><p>Shinichi was lost. He was <em>so<em> lost.

Sitting inside of the Agency together with Heiji, Kazuha, Ran and a Kaito (who claimed that he was someone else) was one of the most awkward situations Conan's found himself being in since a while now. Everyone beside Kazuha (who actually bought this story) seemed to be tense.

"Wait… Ran-chan, didn't ya say that Shinichi called ya before coming here?" The Osakan girl suddenly asked as if realizing something in the story didn't add up, getting everyone's attention.

Mouri only gave her a nervous, but reassuring smile. "Ah… I must have mistaken something. It probably was just Kai-san pulling a prank. Right?"

Both Kuroba and Ran looked at each other somewhat awkwardly, with Kid nodding his head and assuring that was exactly the case. Needless to say, Conan was getting some very suspicious vibes from the whole thing.

She was… covering him?

Wait, so Ran _knew_ he was Kid? Who were they trying to fool here about what again? Kazuha from finding out who he was? Because if Kaito wanted to keep Heiji from finding any of this suspicious, he was already fighting for a lost cause.

… But wait, Hattori couldn't have known that Ran knew that he was Kid. So Kuroba wanted to keep his identity secret from Heiji and Kazuha, while trying to keep _Shinichi's_ identity secret from _Ran_ and Kazuha?

… Poor Kazuha. Or actually, scratch that - poor _all of them_. How the hell did they get themselves into this mess again? He barely woke up and set a foot outside, he didn't sign up for any of this.

"So, yer Conan-kun's cousin, huh?" Heiji raised an eyebrow and gave Kaito the most skeptic look ever. Then he turned to Shinichi for some kind of confirmation on the matter.

"That's right." Kuroba nodded, finding confidence in what he was saying again. "From Fumiyo-san's side."

"Fumiyo?"

"Conan-kun's mother."

Kid was good. He's never even mentioned that name to him, and yet, he somehow knew about the whole setup his _actual_ mother came up with, for his sake. The only people who officially heard about 'Fumiyo Edogawa' and saw her 'in person' were Ran and and her father.

It was Shinichi's cue to shift and whisper into Hattori's ear: "Just go along with it. I'll explain later."

"You know Conan-kun's mother?" Ran suddenly spoke up, sounding confused. It only made sense for her to be, though.

Kaito gave her a small smile. "Remember what I told you in front of the agency?"

Conan didn't know what they talked about before he came down, but… apparently that was enough for Ran to understand something. The next moment, she was the one leaning in to whisper into Kid's ear, instead.

"… If you're blackmailing Conan-kun with something, I'm not going to forgive you."

He was close enough to overhear that.

He didn't manage to catch what Kuroba's answer to that was, though.

"Well, while this has been a pleasure to meet you all, I'm afraid it's time for me."

'Kai' suddenly exclaimed, fixing the cap on his head before standing up.

"I was in the middle of something else in the neighborhood and only came to drop by to check up on Conan-kun and see how he was doing while I was around the street. I didn't intend to stay long." He paused, before adding: "Besides, I don't feel well in closed spaces. It's… a claustrophobia thing."

Shinichi easily got the reference. Ran probably did, as well.

"So if you'll excuse me… Till next time."

"I'm going to see Kai-niichan off!" The small detective exclaimed, standing up to run after the already disappearing thief through the door.

"Ah— me too!" Heiji was on his feet in no time, ready to follow them - but Shinichi stopped him by the door frame, once they were outside of the girls' vision.

"It's fine, Hattori. Stay here, I'll be right back."

His dark-skinned friend frowned, giving him a worried look. Thankfully, he listened and stayed behind, clearly deciding to take his word for it and trust him.

* * *

><p>Hakuba woke up to two things being afoot.<p>

First of all, Kuroba wasn't sleeping in his futon. Nor was he anywhere inside of the rest of the house, on further inspection.

Second of all, the wallpaper of Saguru's cell phone had been changed - somewhere during the time when he was asleep, he assumed. Instead of his usual, default background, it showed… Kaitou Kid blowing him a kiss with some cheesy hearts photoshopped into the side of the photo.

… Did that idiot dress up especially just to do this? Kuroba was seriously nuts.

* * *

><p>Making sure one last time that nobody was on their tail, Conan followed Kid straight into a side alley.<p>

Once the coast was clear, he started to clap for for the thief.

Very slowly.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Kaito didn't exactly sound too proud of himself, either. At least he understood the wrong he had done, otherwise he'd get a kick to his ass on the spot. "Remind me not to get anywhere near your agency without a disguise ever again."

It was the stupidest thing he could have done, true. Even if he was standing relatively far away from it, from what Conan saw. But he obviously didn't foresee Hattori or Ran walking that way during the short time he intended to stand there.

The great Kaitou Kid clearly pushed his luck a little too far this time.

"Next time, _warn_ me before you get the stupid idea to show up here all on your own." Could anyone blame Shinichi for sounding irritated? "All of this brilliant sneaking mission fail aside, what the hell am I supposed to tell Hattori now?"

Kaito gave him an apologetic kind of look while trying to think about that. "What are the chances of him buying the whole 'cousin' thing?"

"Zero."

"Ugh…" That obviously made the magician grimace only more. "Well then… Tell him whatever you need to. The truth… if there's no other way around it."

The small detective blinked, a bit taken aback. "… Are you sure about that?"

"Tell him that Kid came to discuss something with you and end it at that," Kuroba went on. "He doesn't know my real name, nor where I live, and he doesn't know that you _do_ know those things." There was a moment of hesitation. "… Does he?"

Shinichi looked at him like he were some kind of idiot for even doubting that. "Of course he doesn't."

Which made Kuroba grin at him. "So it should all work out, right?"

Conan could only stare at him before sighing in defeat. "We'll see about that. More importantly…"

Kaito's phone suddenly started ringing, interrupting their conversation.

"Crap." One look at it, and Kid's expression turned into one of panic. "Sorry, I need to get that."

"—Where the hell are you?"

Conan could easily hear the person from the other side of the line. It was undoubtedly Hakuba. And he didn't sound too happy. … Ha, ha.

"Oh, I went grocery shopping!" Kaito exclaimed in a cheerful voice, trying to sound convincing. "Since, you know, we were starting to run out of food…"

"I told you to leave that to me. You shouldn't be walking around, let alone straining yourself by carrying something heavy," came the instant scold. "Tell me where you are and I'll come give you a hand."

"Ah, well… that might be a bit tricky. You see…"

"… Where are you, _really_?"

Yeah… Hakuba wasn't stupid. And he apparently knew Kaito pretty well by now. Point for the detective.

"I just needed to get some fresh air, okay? I'll be back in an hour." Kuroba sighed, letting the whole pretense drop. "And stop worrying so much - I'm fine, and I _will be_ fine."

With that, he closed his phone shut, in case any further complaints came.

"Wow. House arrest for the Kid." Shinichi laughed in his typical, unimpressed manner.

"That guy has some issues, I tell you."

"Well, I suppose he wouldn't be such a pain in the ass if he didn't care about you."

Kaito looked at the small detective, raising an eyebrow. "Are you saying that keeping people locked up in a cage is Hakuba's way of showing affection?"

"The bird needs to get better before it can fly again, right?"

"Heh. That's so cheesy, even coming from you." It still made the thief smile in amusement. "Well, since we're already on the topic of Hakuba… What's so scary that you wanted to keep it secret from him?"

Shinichi went silent at the question, his smile faltering. He still had his doubts about wanting to do this, but…

"You're good at information gathering, right? Would you… be able to break into someone's apartment for me?" Came the hesitant question. "Without leaving any traces behind?"

Kaito whistled. "Wow. This is getting deep." It was followed by a chuckle. "But that's actually nice. You obviously came to the right guy."

The small detective was both relieved that Kuroba seemed to accept his request so easily, but also somewhat worried. No matter how good he was with this kind of stuff, what he was asking of him was still dangerous.

"And you're right; Hakuba's so stuck up on the whole detective thing that he'd never even consider breaking the law for a higher purpose. I'm sure we'd never hear the end of it, if he knew." Kaito smiled at him. "Meanwhile, I think that having a flexible mind is a lot better - and way more practical. This is probably also why we get along so well. You don't have a problem with bending the rules a bit."

It… made somewhat sense, what Kid was saying. It made him remember the time when he's asked Hakase if he couldn't fake his passport just so that he could fly over to London with Ran and her father. It was true. If there was a possibility, and he could take it, as long as it didn't hurt anyone…

"I guess I stopped caring so much after… well, becoming like this." Shinichi gestured to himself. "I had to learn how to get by in all kinds of ways."

Kids weren't exactly allowed into crime scenes. It helped that he could use Kogoro's influence sometimes, but still, the beginnings were especially tricky, when nobody from the police force knew him.

"Definitely can't blame you there," Kaito seemed to follow his trail of thought. "So, who is this about? Someone from that 'Black Organization' you told us about?"

"No… Well, I hope not, at least." He had no actual proof regarding that yet. "There are actually three people I wanted to ask you to look into. Just one at a time. It's something we should be careful with."

"I'm all ears."

"Do you remember Sera Masumi?"

"… Who I thought was a guy? Would be kind of hard to forget a girl that _literally_ kicked you in the face." Despite the seemingly traumatic experience, Kuroba sounded somewhat entertained by that memory. Well, he had only himself to blame for that, didn't he? "So she's my first target, huh?"

"I know where she lives, at least. I already tried leaving a bug there when we visited her with Ran and Sonoko, but… she immediately found it."

"Ouch. She needs to be sharp, then."

"I have a suspicion that she's not living alone, at that. So you'll need to be extra careful."

"Got it. I'll see what I can do."

"… Once you've recovered." Shinichi reminded him.

"Once I've recovered." Kaito repeated with a shrug, confirming that he wouldn't do anything stupid. "Speaking of that Sera girl… is the whole snooping around on her part normal?"

Shinichi blinked at the thief, not following. "… What do you mean?"

"I saw her hiding behind one of the buildings, the moment I got here. She's been taking photos around the agency."

That made the detective's eyes go wide. He wasn't aware of anything like that. So, wait… that time when he felt being followed, and Sera popped up, claiming she was taking photos of that couple behind Ran and him…

"Judging by your expression, I take it that's news for you," the thief concluded. "Besides that… is there something I should know about that blond guy that tried to kill your 'friend' back on the train?" Kaito asked in a serious tone, looking back in the agency's direction. Or, well, the cafe that was under it, more like it. It was no doubt that he's seen Amuro there, too.

"Yeah, that… remember how I told you I was confused about him?" Conan followed the magician's gaze with his own, trying to calm down. "At first, I thought he wanted to get close to Uncle for information and took up a part-time job at Poirot Cafe solely for that reason, but… he remained here after the whole thing with Haibara, even if he should technically have no reason to do so anymore. I have no idea what that guy's up to."

"… I see."

They stared at the cafe in silence for a short moment.

"Is he the second person who's place you wanted me to break into?"

Heh. Kaito really _was_ good.

"What gave it away?"

Shinichi couldn't help but smirk, and was even more entertained when Kuroba returned the expression.

They parted ways shortly afterward, with Conan going back to Ran, Kazuha and Hattori. Oh boy, Hattori... He wasn't looking forward to explaining himself out of this whole situation in the least.

Kaito waved him goodbye, claiming that he'd get back home just fine on his own. Shinichi could only hope it didn't involve any hang gliders or anything else of the sort that would get the thief's life in danger in his current state.

* * *

><p>"Is there something we should talk about?"<p>

Those were the words that greeted Kid back at his house. Okay, so getting back might have taken him more than an hour. More than two, even. So, what? He was a free man in a free country. And Saguru wasn't his mother.

"About how you're trying to keep me on a leash?" Kuroba was anything but impressed.

"That's not what I was referring to."

Kaito blinked, instantly sobering up. Wait… Did Hakuba mean the whole thing he and Shinichi wanted to keep secret from him…? Did he somehow find out where he went just now?

"You know, if you keep pulling pranks like these, I might start getting the wrong idea. And then what?"

Wait, why did Saguru sound… somewhat entertained all of a sudden?

What was going on?

The detective just kept staring at him, eventually rising an eyebrow. "Honestly… Don't tell me you already forgot."

Was his confused expression enough of an answer? Kuroba was about to ask what the hell was his classmate talking about, when the unexpected happened.

A doorbell ring interrupted them once again.

* * *

><p>"… I was being blackmailed."<p>

That's what Tantei-kun said, standing in front of the entrance to his house.

Together with the bloody Detective from the West, Hattori Heiji.

Kaito's eyebrow twitched. Repeatedly.

"So, they shot ya, huh? Kudo told me ya saved his life back there." The dark-skinned detective spoke up, sounding all cheerful, as if oblivious to anyone's mood around him. "I suppose I can forgive ya for all the mischief ya caused us back in da day," he went on. "And ya did help us with an investigation once, didn't ya? Dressed up as this fella here. Long time, no see, by the way, Hakuba."

Kid looked around, only to see Hattori pointing to Saguru, who was standing behind him. Cold sweat ran down his spine.

"… Excuse me?"

"—What a lovely weather we have today, don't you think?" Kaito practically yelled the words out, as if that could distract everyone from the topic at hand. "Doesn't it just make you want to—"

"Kuroba." Saguru spoke his name in a firm tone, evidently wanting him to shut up. "When was this?"

"You guys _suck_!" The thief was instantly on the verge of tearing strands of hair out of his head. "And _you_!" He rudely pointed at Heiji. "You're the last person in on this merry-go-round! I swear, if you bring _one more_ detective to me, I'm going to _rob your houses_ and sell everything I find in them on ebay!" There was a lengthy pause, before he added: "Better yet - I will dress up as every single one of you and go confess to the girls you like that you're _gay_!"

Silence fell between them, and with how terrified Conan and Heiji suddenly looked, they seemed to take that threat to heart, at least. As for the one person behind him, however…

"I'd really like to see you do that." His classmate was hardly impressed. He should have seen it coming.

"Oh, right. Besides Hakuba." Kaito murmured. "I forgot that the only person he likes is himself."

The smile Saguru gave him, looking all proud of himself, was even more unnerving. "Thought so. You have nothing on me."

"I could always dress up as you and confess in front of the mirror! And film every second of it, of course! Then upload it on the internet for everyone to see!" Kuroba crossed his hand in front of his chest with a huff. "Never underestimate me."

That made the detective sigh. "… You really have no shame whatsoever."

Even though he sounded more tired than defeated, it was still victory for Kid. Right? Right.

… It made Kaito wonder, though. _Was_ there actually anyone Hakuba liked? He's seen him blush in Akako's presence, but that girl was bewitching just about anyone. She had that kind of effect on others - her red magic was involved, he was positive - whether they were really interested in her or not.

"Either way, now it's yer time to watch out, Hakuba." Heiji grinned at the half-British detective, looking all cocky. "Since out of the four of us, yer the only one who hasn't been shot in the belly yet. Yer the only one missing out!"

Kuroba snorted.

If looks could kill, Hattori would be dead from the stare Saguru was giving him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hilarious, Hattori-kun. Hilarious."

"You guys know each other." Kaito came to the obvious conclusion upon hearing them talk. And the most fun part of it all was that Heiji clearly liked to tease the London detective, too.

"Remember about the Detective Koushien I told you about a while back?" Hakuba asked, answering his unspoken question.

"Oh, right! I forgot about that." Kuroba recalled the story, fitting some pieces together. "Tantei-kun was also there with you, right?"

"I was." Conan nodded, before adding, somewhat amused with the whole thing himself: "Hattori does have a point, though. All three of us have been shot in more or less the same spot..."

"If that's something that makes you happy… Enjoy your bonding experience, then." Clearly, Hakuba had no interest in taking any part in it. He just shook his shoulders and started to retreat back inside of the house, as if he owned the place.

"Well, since you're already here… come in for some tea. Or coffee."

Kaito probably didn't sound very inviting, but given the circumstances, could anyone blame him? He was suddenly up against not two, but _three_detectives. At once. In his own house. Life just wasn't fair.

"Oh, by the way… sorry for earlier. With da elbowing thing." Hattori spoke to him, trying to keep his voice down. "Dat probably hurt. Kazuha did da same to me when I was shot, so I know from experience."

Kuroba blinked, surprised that Hattori remembered. Well, he might have been the most hot-headed out of the three, but he was still a detective and payed attention to the little things, huh? "… Just don't mention it in front of Hakuba and we'll be cool."

Heiji smiled, giving him a thumbs-up. "Got it, Kai-chan."

"It's Kuroba," Kid corrected, somewhat amused by that nickname. "Kuroba Kaito. Just 'Kuroba' is fine."

"Just call me 'Hattori,' too, then," the dark-haired teen insisted.

"A pleasure meeting you, Hattori." The thief figured there was no need to be rude anymore and just went along with his usual game. "As long as you don't sell me out to the police, that is."

"Hey, Kudo trusts ya." He pointed to the 'kid' behind him with his thumb. "And friends of his are friends of mine."

"Does he now~?" Kaito asked in a teasing way, looking over at the small detective. Was that a faint blush forming on Shinichi's cheeks? Now he couldn't help but wonder what _did_ Tantei-kun tell his dark-skinned friend about him, exactly.

"Isn't Hattori going to get a flower from you, too?" Conan suddenly asked in a low voice, clearly wanting to change the topic.

Kuroba couldn't help but smirk at that, too amused. "I only give those to girls. And children." But following Shinichi's trail of thought, Kaito went ahead and made another rose appear in the palm of his hand - a blue one, this time. "But since you're asking so nicely, you can get another one, instead."

Tantei-kun started at him, his eyebrow twitching in irritation. "… I'm going to kick you."

Heiji laughed at them. Kid moved away from the apparent danger zone, eventually inviting the two detectives inside and urging them to follow him into the kitchen upstairs. He was glad to see Hakuba was already almost done with preparing coffee for them.

"… Is your name seriously 'Kaito,' though?" Hattori asked, curious.

"Yeah, well… My parents had a pretty messed up sense of humor, as you can see." The thief shrugged. He's wondered himself, sometimes, if anybody would ever make the connection. "Although I guess that's still nothing compared to what his mother tends to pull off sometimes."

Shinichi gave him a skeptic look, obviously wondering just how did he know about any of the things he shouldn't be knowing of.

"Ya know Kudo's ma?" Heiji made himself at home and took a seat by the table. Soon enough, Conan followed in his tracks.

"I met her when I was around seven years old, actually." Which he still found funny.

"Wait… does that mean ya really are Kudo's cousin?"

Given the circumstances… Kid couldn't really blame him for asking this for real. "No."

"Ya guys really look alike, though."

"Do they, really?" Hakuba interrupted, setting mugs full of coffee in front of them. He's never seen Shinichi in person before, so it was only normal for him to be intrigued by the fact, Kuroba supposed.

Kaito turned to look at Hattori, his expression becoming grave serious.

"His mother had an affair with my dad."

Conan chocked on his coffee, suddenly coughing for his dear life.

The other two detectives were just left dumbfounded.

"Will you stop saying such nonsense—!"

With how upset Shinichi sounded, Kuroba couldn't help but laugh, his poker face flying out the window. Provoking the small detective was just too amusing sometimes.

"Never gets old, never gets old~"

"That's it— I'm kicking you for real!"

Well, Saguru and Kaito clearly weren't the only ones who could play cat and mouse around the kitchen.

It might have been three detectives against one phantom thief now, but there was bound to be enough mischief for everyone. Kid was set on making sure of that.

—_t.b.c._

* * *

><p><strong>Nayru's Note:<strong> I suppose this concludes the 'intro' to my story, if one could call it that. Hope you enjoyed! c:

Also… some implications of an actual 'pairing' or two might appear in the next chapter. Maybe. I'm still trying to decide whether that will go anywhere more serious or just be something to laugh at. We shall see.

PS. I set up a 'buy me a cup of coffee' button on my profile page, if anyone felt inclined to do that for me. I just came to the realization that if I could dedicate all of my time to writing stuff (both for myself and for you guys) instead of getting an actual job (which I really need to do), I would. Well, one can dream. x'D Cheers, guys!

PS.2 Hosio made another doodle with Conan and Heiji for us this time, but she has yet to scan it. I'll add the link to the pic to my profile page once I finally get it! Believe me, it's adorable. c:


	8. Sports field shenanigans

**Nayru's Note: **So, I was intending to mention that this chapter and the next were originally supposed to be one, but that'd be a lie. The whole thing expanded on me and got out of control (why am I even surprised anymore, I never learn) so much that it might actually end in three parts. I'm not even sure yet. Happen what may, I'm just going to roll with it.

But that might have its good sides. I'm using it as an opportunity to think a bit more about a few things and work on re-arranging a couple of crucial scenes that are supposed to take place later on. Those things have a lot to do with what I mentioned in the end note of the previous chapter (more info about that in the note at the end of this one, too.)

Other than that… Happy Valentine's Day, guys? I swear I'm taken off-guard by it every single year, and I honestly didn't plan for it to mash with the update. xD

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 08: Sports field shenanigans<strong>

* * *

><p>During the following ten days, in which Kaito recovered from his shot wound, all four of the boys didn't get to see each other that much.<p>

Hakuba started attending school again after the first three days of watching over Kuroba, and Kuroba also went back to school after a week of being 'sick,' figuring he was well enough to do so after said amount of time. Sitting around in a classroom wasn't exactly straining for one's body (even though it was straining for the mind, as far as boredom went - but that still beat laying in bed and staring at the wall or ceiling by far.)

Saguru still came to check up on Kaito every day, mainly to change his bandages and bring him more chocolate, or to cook something good for him. Aoko also dropped by a few times, as did Jii-chan - to whom Kuroba lied about having an actual cold in order not to make him worry. It was enough of a good reason for putting any possible heist notices on hold.

Kaito talked with his mother through the internet two times, but kept the truth hidden from her, as well. She was still in Las Vegas, and with how much fun she seemed to have, it didn't look like she was intending to come back home anytime soon. One time, Chikage called him while Saguru was there, and of course she needed to jump to conclusions and make it clear how happy she was that her son was making new friends.

If she only knew.

Apparently Hattori came to visit Shinichi for some kind of reason earlier, and the two were left to their own devices, considering Kuroba couldn't go with them (he'd be able to, physically, no matter what Hakuba claimed - but there was the problem of Ran, Kazuha and Kogoro going with them, wherever they were going.)

When he later got a message from his favorite critic about someone getting murdered during their trip, Kid wondered if anyone was even surprised about it anymore.

On the tenth day, Saguru cut and took out the stitches from his wound - since apparently one was supposed to do that before everything healed completely. The day after that, Kaito invited all three of the boys over for coffee (or tea, with milk or not) so that Shinichi and Heiji could tell them all about their earlier adventure. Hakuba was a detective, and obviously, hearing about a murder case was just bound to make his day. Kuroba simply wanted to spend some time with someone, and the whole thing was good enough of an excuse as any. The thee detectives were always a good source of entertainment.

… And maybe he was growing fond of them all for real, just a little bit. Beside Aoko, Kaito didn't exactly have any actual friends (Keiko and Akako didn't really count as 'friends' in his eyes, they were more like people he simply knew… and his relationship with Koizumi was also complicated on a whole other, different level.) It might have had something to do with the fact that others rarely piqued his interest and he somehow never found himself that drawn to much of anyone on a personal level.

Maybe it was all in his magician blood, that he considered people just to be an audience that needed entertaining. Perhaps it was also partly because of the fact that Kaito used to shut himself off from the rest of the world after his father died, and made it somewhat hard for others to approach him in general.

Something definitely changed when he met Conan. He was intrigued with the small detective from the start, and the challenge - both intellectual and physical - he always brought along made Kid constantly look forward to their encounters. Things were never boring with him around. Shinichi had somewhat of a difficult character, but as Kaito later realized, it mostly depended on the amount of trust he gave the other person (and earning it wasn't easy, either.)

The problem with Hakuba was most likely tied with the fact that he was too stubborn for his own good and didn't back down no matter how many times Kuroba had told him to get lost. Not many were persistent enough to constantly ram their heads against that wall, not giving it a rest before finally snaking their way through. Well, pushy people tended to be annoying, but that characteristic of theirs was also good sometimes, especially when insults or pranks didn't scare them away. That was something Saguru and Aoko had in common, at least.

And while Kaito wasn't sure what to make of Hattori, at first…

"Hey, Earth to Kid."

Kuroba blinked, seeing Heiji snapping his fingers before his face.

Well, crap, what did he miss?

"… The piano wire went where?"

"The piano wire was talked about five minutes ago. Yer spacing out on us." The dark-haired detective gave him a suspicious, albeit teasing look. "What'cha thinking so intensely about, hmm?"

"Hopefully it's not a heist notice." Conan stared at him in a 'I see what you did there' kind of way.

"That's pretty bold of you, Kuroba." Of course, Hakuba had to join the other two with the teasing. "Getting all devious in front of three detectives. What if one of us was able to see into your mind?"

Kaito just rolled his eyes. "Unless you're Akako, I don't think I have much to worry about there."

The guys blinked at him, confused.

"Never mind. It's an inside joke." Only that he didn't even know if it _was_ a joke. He could laugh all he wanted, but if it turned out that the crazy witch would be able to eat people's minds, he wouldn't even be surprised.

"Well, while you were stuck in Kid Land, we finished talking about the murder trick," Conan informed with dry amusement. "So we were trying to ask you what was the thing you wanted to ask of us."

"Ah, right." It was like a magical change of topic that sobered Kaito up immediately. He sent them a text about his little plan earlier, but didn't explain what it was supposed to be about yet. "There are actually two things. But I'll tell you about the second one once we're done with the first," Kuroba explained with a smile. "I wanted you guys to accompany me somewhere."

"Accompany you?" All three detectives seemed intrigued. "Where to?"

"Might it be Kaitou Kid's secret hideout?" Heiji asked in a teasing tone, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

Kuroba wasn't sure whether to laugh or whether to look at him as if he were some kind of idiot.

Well, _technically_, he kind of _did_ have a secret hideout of sorts…

But nobody needed to know about that.

"Ha, ha, _no_. You'll see when we get there." Making it easy for them? Never. "Just please, please, _please_, promise me something…" Kaito's voice turned pleading with him clasping his hands together and raising them for emphasis.

"Yeah?"

"Promise me that nobody will die when I take you there."

Silence fell upon the kitchen. Now both Conan and Heiji stared at Kaito as if he were some kind of idiot, instead.

"You make it sound like we're the ones doing the killing," Shinichi almost sounded offended.

"Not to judge or anything, but the fact _is_, that wherever you go, usually _someone dies!_" Kuroba yelled, pointing a finger at them accusingly. "Don't even try to deny it! It's like you have the God of Death following you around or something!"

Saguru sighed, disappointment in his features. "Honestly, Kuroba."

"It's true! Even back on that train, where I was trying to mind my own business, as soon as Tantei-kun showed up, someone got shot!"

"Hey, that wasn't my fault!"

"Train?" Came the question from Heiji, who just looked back and forth between the bickering boys and Hakuba.

"Don't look at me," The blond detective shrugged. He clearly had no idea what the two were talking about, either.

"Do I even need to remind you of Sunset Mansion?" Kaito went on.

"Ah, the detective gathering at Sunset Mansion I was part of, at least," Hakuba threw in his five cents. "To think that Kid sat right next to me so many times, just within my reach, and I wasn't even aware of it… That had to be one of your best disguise choices, Kuroba."

"Well, it was quite entertaining, I'll admit," Kaito smirked, thinking back on it. "Especially when I drove through the forest with Tantei-kun and his girlfriend."

If looks could kill, Shinichi would probably have one phantom thief on his conscience. "Yay for family road trips," he admitted with no amusement whatsoever. "Though that whole case made me realize that you knew how to drive a car. And pretty well, at that. It had me wondering."

"Well, with what I do, I need to be a jack of all trades. You never know what kind of skill might come in handy when it comes to impersonating people."

Heiji gave all of them a puzzled look, so Saguru decided to explain. "He dressed up as Mouri Kogoro and had us fooled throughout the whole case."

"No way..." The dark-skinned was suddenly somewhat in awe. "Now I wish I had seen that in action."

The magician smiled at him before turning back to Conan again. "And if you're wondering about my driving license, should I remind you of the time when you crash-landed a plane?"

"You have a driving license?" Hattori blinked.

"Of course I don't." Kuroba didn't even hesitate with the answer and tried to ignore Hakuba, who looked like he was suddenly itching to arrest him. "… Are we about to play with the handcuffs again?"

Heiji seemed so lost.

"For the record, it was _Ran_ who crash-landed that plane," Shinichi corrected. "And we'd be dead if you didn't teach her how to operate it in the first place. Not to mention…" The small detective trailed off, rubbing his temples as if he had a headache incoming. "God, thinking back on that whole thing still keeps me awake at night sometimes."

"Can't blame you there," Kaito agreed. "It was a close one."

If he didn't happen to be on that plane with them, who knew how that whole ordeal would have ended. Those were also one of the few times when he was thankful for inspector Nakamori being so obsessively set on catching him. The whole plan would have failed without him.

That was also the day when the beginning of his flirting attempts with Ran started… While Kuroba wasn't serious with those and did all of that mostly both for her and Tantei-kun's amusing reactions (it wasn't his fault those kind of things always put them off-track so much), he really needed to cut out doing that. Things on Jirokichi's airship definitely went a tad too far, and it came to bite him back in the butt in front the the agency already. It was a dangerous game he was playing, and Kaito really didn't want to get on Kudo's bad side because of a girl, especially not now.

"You need to tell me more about that plane adventure of yours sometime," Saguru insisted. "But while we're already on the topic of skills… If you want to remain the master of disguise, you should definitely learn how to smoke cigarettes, Kuroba. I don't think something like that would slip our observation a second time."

"Shut up." Kaito's earlier good mood went even more down the drain. "I tried, believe me… Those things are nasty. I don't get it how anyone would pick them up willingly."

Saguru looked… surprised. Like he didn't expect that kind of comeback. For a moment there, the thief wondered if he said something wrong.

"… You were joking," was the only obvious conclusion.

"Partially… I suppose."

"What, are you going to arrest me for underage smoking, now?" … Was that even something people could get arrested for? Well, it hardly mattered, it was still something he already saw he could tease Hakuba with. "Oh, this is precious… If you even knew about half of the things I needed to—"

"Stop, please." Saguru pressed a hand to his eyes, as if he were attempting to keep the last remains of his poor, innocent mind. "I don't want to know."

Kaito was about to comment about this being way too easy, when he heard the front door of his house opening and closing. Hakuba threw him a questioning look.

"Aoko-kun?"

"I don't think so…" Thoughts chased around in his mind, when it hit Kuroba that he forgot about something. "Ah, crap—"

The teen quickly got to his feet, but before he brought himself to move, Jii-chan appeared in the entrance of the kitchen and went still, turning to look at the four boys sitting by the table. The old man just stared at them, and they stared back, silence filling the air.

It took barely a moment, up until the gray-haired man noticed Edogawa Conan being present in the bunch. Then he just started to panic.

"Y-Young Master!" Jii yelled as if the world was about to fall apart.

"It's okay— It's okay, Jii-chan!" Kaito flailed, trying to calm him down. "It's not what it looks like!"

"I am so sorry! I should have never dragged you into this! All of this is Jii's eternal fault!" The grandpa didn't listen and just fell to his knees, hands pressing to the floor as he bowed his head to the detectives. "If you need to arrest someone, please, take me!"

"Jii-chan!" Kuroba lost his patience and reached down to grip on the old man's suit, just to yank him back to his feet. "Calm down. Nobody's arresting anybody for anything."

"But—" The half-bold man looked back on the boys, confusion not leaving his features.

"_They came over for a cup of tea._"

* * *

><p>Once Kaito finally managed to explain the situation to Jii-chan - and reassure him, that really, <em>really<em>, nobody was about to arrest him - all three of the detectives followed their magician friend and left the house, leaving the old man behind.

"Not exactly what I imagined for your assistant to be." Conan looked at the thief with half-lidded eyes and a teasing smile on his face.

"Ignore that whole ordeal. He doesn't normally act like that," Kuroba murmured, trying to fight down the sudden second-hand embarrassment. "You gave him reasons for heart attacks during heists more times than I can count, so forgive him for freaking out upon seeing you in my house."

Shinichi raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised by that admission.

"Konosuke Jii is the owner of Blue Parrot, isn't he?" Saguru asked. "I've actually been there a few times."

"Really? You don't strike me as the type to be attending billiard parlors," Kaito mused, before it hit him. "Oh, wait… let me guess, you were there to investigate a possible suspect."

"You're learning." Hakuba almost sounded proud. "I heard from Aoko-kun that there was an elderly man who helped with looking after you sometimes. I didn't need to do a lot of research after that."

_Aoko, you traitor_, Kuroba silently cursed his childhood friend.

"He yer grandpa?"

"No, we're not related." The magician answered Hattori's question. "He's… more like a family friend. He was my father's assistant, when my dad was still alive. And then he appeared in my life, all of a sudden… during some weird circumstances."

Kuroba tried not to give away too much, but he was sure that the detectives would be able to put two and two together and figure out the truth behind the implication, anyway.

"I guess he's sort of like an uncle figure to me now."

* * *

><p>The first request and the place Kaito wanted to take them to, as it turned out, involved some fresh air and physical exercise. There was a dojo and a big sports field that Kuroba payed visits to quite frequently, or so he claimed (because hey, doing most of the stunts he was doing and needed training with was bound to get suspicious on school grounds fast,) and now that he was back to proper physical health, he wanted to 'burn down all that chocolate that Hakuba had fed him' for the last two weeks.<p>

Surprisingly, there was barely anyone else there beside them on the field. The gym in a nearby building seemed the most popular spot, and even then, it looked like not many people came over to train at that time of the day.

"So, I heard you were good in physical stuff?" Kuroba asked Heiji with a smile. "Hakuba mentioned you jumping up to a window located a floor above you, and Tantei-kun mentioned you running around some tiled roofs while fighting bad guys."

Heiji blinked at the teen, soon smiling just the same while giving both Conan and Hakuba a teasing look. "I see I have quite da reputation 'round here."

Both boys in question started to act like they didn't know anything.

"Well, it's all true. But I'm good in Kendo, especially."

"Oh, Kendo?" Kaito looked intrigued. "Give me a sec. I'll check if they have any wooden swords around here somewhere."

It took barely a moment for the thief to disappear and come back. He didn't manage to find a wooden sword, however… instead, he brought something else along.

Kuroba threw Hattori a mop.

The dark-haired teen caught it instinctively, but gave it a very, very unbelieving look. "Ya _serious_?"

"It's… close enough?" Kaito gave the other a nervous smile. "You think you could work with that?"

For a moment more, Heiji just started him as if he were an idiot. But eventually, he decided to let it go and gave the thing an experimental swing. Then another. "Ya think they're gonna miss this thing?"

Both Shinichi and Hakuba watched in mild horror as Heiji pressed one end of the mop to the ground and gave it a kick, swiftly breaking it in two halves with a loud crack.

Giving it another swing with the frilly end gone, satisfaction could be seen in the Osakan boy's eyes. "There we go."

For being a detective… Hattori definitely had some surprises up his sleeve. Kaito clapped his hands for him, grinning like the devil. "I like your attitude."

"If anybody asks, I don't know either of you." Hakuba seemed done, as he turned around and started walking away. There were some seats at the side of the field, and that's apparently where he was intending to head to.

The thief was ready to bet that his poor classmate's mind screamed 'property violation' at him or something. Honestly, Saguru was such a law nut with a stick up his ass sometimes.

"They have soccer balls around here, right?" Conan asked, already making his way towards the building Kuroba went into earlier.

"Of course." Kaito gave Tantei-kun a thumbs up. "Check to your left, right behind the door."

Soon enough, the small detective was back on the field, kicking a ball playfully up in the air, letting it bounce off his head or shoulder on occasion.

"I'll keep Hakuba company. You two have fun."

And with that, Shinichi bounced away from them for the time being.

Apparently the message about having a request from Hattori especially that he's sent Tantei-kun earlier was taken to heart, though he didn't really mean it that way. Oh, well.

"Okay, so what's da plan?" The Osakan detective swung his stick to get a better feeling of it.

"I wanted to ask you to spar with me," that being said, Kaito started to stretch out his limbs in preparation.

One of Heiji's eyebrows rose. "Uh… Won't ya need a weapon of yer own for that?"

"Not necessarily," The thief insisted, sounding sure of himself. "I had a different kind of training in mind. I'd like you to land a blow on me, to be more specific. Let's say… would the shoulder be a good spot?" Kuroba patted himself on the mentioned body part for demonstration's sake.

"… Ha?"

"I'll try to avoid it, of course," Kaito quickly clarified. "You cool with that?"

Hattori didn't seem cool nor convinced with anything. "What if I hurt you?"

That made the thief smirk - very, very widely.

If there was one thing Kaito learned during their few short meetings, it was the fact that Hattori was a horribly competitive person. No doubt, it was a trait all four of them shared, but Heiji's and Saguru's need to prove they were the best in something, whatever it was, was probably the strongest of them all. Their rivalry back at the Detective Koushien, which he heard about, only emphasized his theory.

And right now, Hattori's buttons were just begging to be pushed.

"The question should be… Do you think you _can_?"

* * *

><p>Conan was about to ask Hakuba what was up, when both of their attentions got interrupted by something else.<p>

The soccer ball fell to the ground and was left rolling away, forgotten, as the two watched Kuroba jump in a series of somersaults in the distance, with Hattori chasing after him with his poor excuse of a 'sword.'

Shinichi had an idea that Kid needed to be both agile and flexible - hell, he wouldn't be such an amazing thief, if he wasn't - but that… was way beyond what he ever imagined. It was the first time he's seen the magician make stunts of such caliber.

Heiji was far from slow himself, at that. And that guy had trouble keeping up. Well, at first, at least… once Hattori's initial shock wore off, too, things started to get more evened out. It's like the dark-skinned teen held back at first, but then figured he had no reason to, and started approaching his 'chase' with a lot more fervor.

That's when Kaito's evade attempts occasionally became close calls. Sometimes, the magician was forced to deflect a blow with a foot or the palm of his hand, either to push himself away or to try to make his opponent's grip on his weapon waver, presenting an opening for him to jump away.

The detective from Osaka seemed pissed at every opportunity Kuroba used to slip past behind him and poke him in the shoulder, instead.

Shinichi felt a strange sense of deja vu. It was like back in front of Kaito's house - when they stood and listened to the magician sing - all over again.

"That guy is crazy."

"His 'crazy' is going to be the death of him someday," Hakuba sounded more displeased than impressed this time around, though. "I told him to take things easy since his barely healed wound shouldn't be put under such extensive strain yet. That idiot is out of control. I swear, why do I even bother…"

Wow, Saguru really sounded like he had a bad day today. Or maybe he was just tired. "I take it trying to take care of him was tough."

"Don't even get me started." The London detective shifted in his seat. "Imagine trying to keep Kid with an overdose of gathered up energy in bed. He wouldn't let me sleep..."

Conan couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that admission, and Hakuba seemed to realize just how what he just said sounded.

"… Not like… I didn't mean it like that." The blond teen tiredly pressed a hand into his face to hide his mortification.

"I didn't say anything." Shinichi held back a snort and tried not to sound too amused.

"You were thinking it."

"Well, I wouldn't be thinking it if you didn't think about it first."

"What kind of logic—" was it? No, that actually made somewhat sense. Hakuba had no actual comeback to that. "Can we just change the topic?"

"Sure." The small detective shrugged. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

"If you're wondering about sports I like, billiards doesn't exactly fall into the category of things we came to do here." That's probably why he was fine with occupying the bench. "I jog on occasion, but I'm not particularly fond of anything that makes one sweaty in general."

… Hakuba had a weird way of putting things sometimes.

"I see. Well, I was curious about that, too, but…" Shinichi looked at the London detective, wondering how to approach the issue. "I heard from Kuroba that you're also a Sherlock Holmes fan?"

* * *

><p>'Sherlock Holmes' was like some kind of magical word that let all floodgates loose between the two mismatched detectives.<p>

Starting from their favorite stories, favorite quotes, even favorite pages in corresponding books, ending on their thoughts on adaptations and the most obscure kind of trivia regarding both Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the sports field and everything around them was left forgotten.

Shinichi also mentioned his adventurous trip to London and his visit to the museum on Baker Street (which Hakuba's been to too many times himself, obviously) and Saguru went as far to show the little detective a few photos of his 'detective outfit' that he happened to have saved on his phone.

Needless to say, Conan found it totally cool.

"I'm actually surprised you weren't with us at the elite Sherlock Holmes tour last year."

"You mean those group gatherings Kanaya Hiroyuki tended to organize?" Hakuba seemed to be aware of what he was talking about, at least. "I did get an invitation to it, actually, but I was in London back at the time and couldn't come."

"Well, you didn't miss out on much… considering the whole party never reached a conclusion because it was interrupted by two murders."

"I've read about it in the newspapers." The owner was one of the victims, after all, so it only made sense that Saguru knew what happened. "It's been mentioned that Hattori was the one who solved the case." Which made Hakuba smirk. "But now that I know you were also there, I take it he had some help."

Shinichi gave off a weak, slow laugh at that. "Funny thing, actually… That was the second time he and I met, and that was also the case during which Hattori got very suspicious of me. He eventually started to watch my every move, and when we both figured out who the murderer was, Hattori started playing dumb and waited for me to give myself away." He was so annoyed at the whole thing back then, but now, he just couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"That needed to be an entertaining sight."

"I couldn't use Kogoro to solve the case like I usually do, so Hattori ended up being the victim, instead. He was practically asking for it, and I figured it would be safer that way."

"Of course... 'Sleeping Kogoro' makes so much more sense now." Hakuba added with amusement, putting two and two together just now. Conan was sure this voice-changing bow-tie made a lot more sense to the London detective now, too. "So, what went wrong?"

"Hattori woke up somewhere in the middle of my deduction, but pretended to be asleep throughout the whole thing… You can probably guess what happened after that." Shinichi gave the other a half-amused, half-unimpressed look. "I kept denying his accusations, of course, but then he said that he would tell Ran the truth…"

"Mouri Kogoro's daughter, right?" Saguru asked, raising an eyebrow. "You live with her, and she doesn't know who you really are."

Shinichi wasn't sure if it was Hakuba's intention to be suggestive with anything there, or if he was simply asking that for confirmation, but it made him feel somewhat… awkward.

"Yeah… If she ever finds out - and believe me, she's suspected something more times than I can count by now - I'm probably a dead man."

* * *

><p>"Hey, look at da two… I think someone just found a common language." Hattori commented with slight amusement while gesturing to the side, before wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.<p>

It probably wasn't much of a surprise that the loud and excited rambling about Shinichi's and Saguru's favorite fictional character even got Kaito's and Heiji's attention at some point. They stopped with their little training spree, only to look in the direction of their friends with curiosity and intrigue.

Kuroba let out a snort. Truth to be told, he's never seen Hakuba acting so enthusiastic about anything before. That nerd. It was almost like watching two little kids who just got the toy of their lives. Quite an amusing sight.

"I bet their mutual Sherlock Holmes obsession finally came to light."

The dark-skinned detective turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Is Hakuba a Holmes nut, too?"

His question was answered with a grin. "Oh, dude, don't even get me started on that. He's used to appear in the most embarrassing outfit during the first few heists he's attended to. He practically cosplay'ed him."

"Wow, am I da only sane detective around here?"

"Does that mean you don't have a Sherlock worship altar back at your house?"

"_Hell, no._ I never understood what Kudo sees in da guy."

Now that made Kaito laugh. "You guys are awesome."

Yeah. While Kaito wasn't sure what to make of Hattori, at first, getting to actually know him personally definitely left a positive impression. The Detective from the West was the ideal picture of 'act first, think later,' unlike their other two friends, and he might have been the most easy-going out of them all. His sense of humor was great, and resorting to teasing people around him wasn't foreign to him, either. He also had a short temper, though, and tended to explode whenever annoyed, which made him the perfect target for all kinds of pranks.

If Kuroba had to describe it, he'd say that Heiji was simply fun to be with. He was actually surprised by how well they seemed to get along. Kuroba always thought that Hattori wasn't the 'easily trusting' type, either, but apparently his association with Kudo had a big influence on that part and left him with some kind of shortcut ticke—_holy crap!_

A ball suddenly came flying, and Kaito barely managed to dodge it. While he might have been set on being wary of Hattori and his stick all this time, he forgot to watch his back for that split moment.

That split moment of being off-guard was enough to fall into Hakuba's trap. Before the magician knew it, his wrists were handcuffed together behind his back. Clearly, the two detectives caught on the fact that they were gossiped about and used the distraction to make their move. And then Kaito got careless by getting lost in his own, stupid thoughts.

Before the thief could even react, Saguru had a grip on him, which he couldn't really fight with his hands restrained, and with a hook of a leg, he was sent flying to the ground. A pained sound escaped him as his breath was knocked out of him with the impact.

Kaito grit his teeth as one of his hands was being yanked on in a painful hold, and a knee dug into his back, along with a big portion of Hakuba's weight.

Okay, so he wasn't prepared for something like this. Which was, all things considered, somewhat humiliating right now.

"This _so_ does _not_ count! You guys were cheating!" The magician yelled, trying to shift so that his cheek wouldn't press against the grass underneath him so much. A few green strands managed to get into his mouth and he had o blow them out with distaste.

That's also when he noticed Tantei-kun, who happened to be standing right next to them. Seeing the kid smile at him, he gave him an annoyed look.

"And so, Kaitou Kid has been caught," Saguru announced, sounding all smug. "For anyone who makes fun of Sherlock Holmes, justice will be always served."

"Yeah, well, your sense of justice is pretty screwed up, anyway," Kaito murmured, hardly impressed with his classmate's ramblings. "Sorry I offended your noble lord and savior. Now let me go; this hurts."

Hakuba's smile faltered at that, though he didn't budge. "… Wait, you mean I actually managed to catch you off-guard and restrain you for real?"

Kuroba wanted to ask what the hell was that supposed to mean, but he already knew the answer to that question. Normally, in his Kid costume and with all of his usual stuff on him, he'd be able to get out of something like this, with a bit of effort. He's done it a lot of times before, be it with Inspector Nakamori or anyone else from the task force. It shouldn't have been surprising that Hakuba didn't expect him to actually be helpless this time around, especially when he got out of his earlier 'challenges' back in the kitchen with ease.

Well, there was a trick to everything, and right now, he simply wasn't prepared. Not that he'd admit it.

"… Unless you want me to put you to sleep, which I'm trying _hard_ to avoid…" The thief warned with an irritated grunt.

That was enough to make Hakuba let go and move away from his classmate, at least.

As soon as he was free, Kaito rolled onto his side and swiftly looped his restrained hands around his bent legs, bringing his upper limbs before himself. Once that was done, he rolled onto his back with a sigh, and decided to just lay there.

"Are you alright?" For someone being on the offensive just a few seconds ago, Saguru sure did sound concerned.

"Yeah, yeah." The magician waved it off. "Laying in bed for two weeks made me a little rusty, is all. So annoying."

Hattori laughed at that. "If yer able to pull stunts like these while being _rusty_, I don't wanna know how yer doin' at yer best."

"The mischief intensifies, obviously." Shinichi added with dry amusement.

"Hey, a little mischief never hurt anyone." Sort of... He could stick to that logic, right? "But honestly, Hakuba…" The thief went on, his voice turning somewhat bored. "I'm starting to wonder if you have some kind of handcuff fetish. You carry them around with you _everywhere_."

Both Conan and Heiji turned to look at the London detective with a quizzical stare. Saguru's eyebrow twitched, his lips pressed into a thin line, and it was clear that he was trying hard not to let himself get provoked. They tried not to laugh.

Shinichi saw it as an opportunity to join in on the fun and make things worse.

"Does that mean he sleeps with those on him, too?"

"Oh~?" Kuroba threw his classmate a sly kind of look, looking entertained beyond redemption. "Have you been telling Tantei-kun about our nighttime adventures, _Saguru~_?"

If Hakuba could die at that moment - from something lethal, not stupid, _stupid_ embarrassment - he would choose to die. He _wanted_ to die.

Scratch that, he could just _murder someone_ who was responsible for everything going wrong with his life lately. That would solve the problem all the same.

"Give me that stick— _I'm going to kill him—_!"

"Whoa, man, calm down…"

Heiji blinked, looking somewhat worried, but didn't struggle with the suddenly possessed teen and let him yank the broken piece of mop out of his hand. Then he silently approached Kudo as the other two jumped to their throats and tried (to avoid) killing one another.

"… Am I missing something?"

"I don't think so."

If there really _was_ something going on, Kaito wouldn't joke about it in such a way… or at least that's the impression Shinichi was getting. He was just teasing Hakuba in the worst possible ways. …Probably because the reactions he was getting were too precious.

"Behold the biggest troll in existence. I think he'd bring my mother to shame with his mischief sometimes, not to even mention Haibara…"

"—Okay, okay, time, time! I get it! _I get it!_ I'm sorry! _Goddammit_, Hakuba, that _hurts_—!"

"—_It better!_"

"… We should probably stop 'em."

"You think?"

* * *

><p>Once all was said and done, and the piece of evidence in the form of a broken mop was thrown somewhere behind the fence (it might have landed in the nearby river, actually), Hakuba sat down on the grass with his hands crossed in front of his chest, looking like some kind of grumpy cat. Kaito, giving home to a couple of new, fresh bruises, decided to remain where he was, just laying on the grassy ground himself.<p>

Conan and Heiji exchanged amused looks, unsure what to think of their friends' quarrel.

"So, about that second thing… I guess now is good time as any to bring it up." Kuroba was the first to speak up, his voice taking up a eerie kind of tone. "Dear detectives, don't be shy and come closer. Have a sit."

All three turned to observe Kaito for a moment. Eventually, Kudo and Hattori decided to go along with the request and take a seat next to their resting thief. Saguru didn't bother, since he wasn't sitting that much further away and could hear them just fine.

The magician smiled at them, dropping the whole mysterious act.

"I wanted to invite you guys over for a birthday party."

It wasn't what they expected to hear - if their surprised faces were anything to go by - so, point for him.

"Yours?"

"Yup!" Kuroba nodded. "It's on the twenty first. That's Sunday, but I thought I'd throw the party on Saturday, so that we don't have school right the day after," he explained. "You guys are free to stay over for the night, too."

Hakuba looked thoughtful. "I take it Aoko-kun will also be there?"

"Yeah. You two will finally get a chance to meet her."

If anything, Conan seemed intrigued by that name. He's surely heard it being mentioned before, but didn't catch on who they were talking about yet. Oh, he had a surprise coming, and her being Nakamori's daughter was only one half of it.

"I was planning to go back to Osaka tomorrow…" Heiji suddenly admitted, turning thoughtful. "But considering that's next week, I think I could come up with another excuse to come visit Kudo again, without Kazuha getting suspicious."

"I don't mind covering for you, as always." Shinichi agreed.

"Awesome." Kid was definitely pleased to hear that. "Hakuba, you feeling better yet? I could invite Akako as well, especially for you."

That made his classmate blink in surprise, then frown - and hey, was that a hint of a blush appearing on his face all of a sudden? "It's your birthday. Don't invite anyone you don't want to invite."

… Talk about a bad case of denial. Well, that kind of behavior only reminded Kaito that he had something he wanted to ask the witch about, so to hell with it. He might as well use it as an excuse and approach her during the party. Besides, Aoko would probably feel better with another female friend around, considering she'd be alone with four guys instead.

"Well then, with that settled…" Kuroba was suddenly back on his feet, rubbing his hands together to get the dirt off of himself. "I should be back in the game in no time~"

Realization dawned upon the detectives: the handcuffs, which were still restraining the thief barely a minute ago, weren't where they were supposed to be anymore. Hakuba quickly looked to the side, already fearing the worst.

It didn't take long for him to notice that one of the metallic rings was indeed stuck around his wrist.

"Not again… Kuroba—"

"_Wah!_ The hell—?!"

They found out, the painful way, that Saguru's hand got cuffed to… Conan's leg. When Hakuba tried to move and immediately chase after the thief before he even got up to make a run for it, the movement made Shinichi fall to the ground with an ungraceful yelp and dragged him a few feet along.

Unless the London detective picked up the smaller boy and carried him around, they probably wouldn't be able to get far and capture anyone, no matter how hard they tried.

Kaito just stood there and snickered at the idea, amused.

"Consider it payback."

"You _were_ thinking about heist notices back at the house, weren't you?" Tantei-kun pushed himself up on his elbows, not even bothering to struggle with his confinement. "I take it we should expect one to go up any day now…"

"Who knows~" The thief teased, observing Saguru's poor attempts at trying to get the handcuffs to open. The key to those was already long stolen, too, of course. "You'll still attend, right?"

"I see no reason why we shouldn't. I hope you weren't expecting us to start going easy on you, now that we're…" Conan trailed off, as if carefully looking for the right word. "Acquainted."

(Kaito resisted the urge to tease him and end that thought for him with a different word.)

"That's what I wanted to hear." A smile and thumbs up were given. "Things are always way more exciting with you guys around."

"Aren't you worried? If Hakuba and I start working together, who knows what might happen."

"I'm going to embrace the challenge," Kaito's voice turned more Kid-like, with him gracefully bowing before them. "What about you, Hattori?"

"Ya know… I never really cared about catching Kid that much. Whenever I was in for the chase, it was because of Kudo," the teen from Osaka explained, a smile appearing on his lips. "But looking at it now… how could I miss out on the fun?"

The magician returned Heiji's smile with just as much enthusiasm.

That's when Shinichi sneezed.

In the distance, someone screamed.

Kaito prayed to all that was holly that it wasn't because of a dead body that's been suddenly discovered in some kind of dusty, old closet.

It turned out that his prayers were left unheard.

Conan only pressed a hand to his face, not sure if he should feel sorry or just miserable at that point. "Please tell me the closet wasn't locked from the inside."

—_t.b.c._

* * *

><p><strong>Nayru's Note:<strong> So… remember when I said that I was still trying to decide whether the 'shippy stuff' will go anywhere more serious or just be something to laugh at? In the meantime, I happened to get a couple of impacting reviews that made me think hard on it. These two, for instance:

_lumutness: "About hints of pairing... please, no. at least not in this fic. The atmosphere of friendship would be badly altered if you do that. Well, and we will have three brokenhearted girls at least, which could make this story uncomfortable. Pretty please? with cherry on top?"_

_Maylene: "As for the hints of a pairing... I know it's your decision but I like the "just friendship - but epic friendship" concept more. Plus one - or even two - of the girls would end up being sad, as far as I can imagine. So it's your decision of course, but I'd like to see them as friends, they're like the best team ever this way. :D To me, at least. :)"_

I figured, hell, they have a very good point (to the people who wrote this, thank you - the downside of getting notes from guest accounts is that I can never reply to them, even if I want to.)

My main goal for this story is to make it a 'feel-good' one and possibly make people laugh while at it, so I decided I'll try to stick to the latter and keep everything platonic between the guys, after all. It's true that I could ruin the whole concept otherwise. While I might add some angsty and plot-heavy stuff every now and then (because hey, plot is always good,) breaking hearts and complicating things in a 'this isn't fun anymore' kind of way as far as couple drama goes is not exactly my goal.

TL;DR EPIC BROMANCE SHALL PREVAIL!

That doesn't mean there won't be any crack pairings, though. Because hey, if we can joke and laugh at Kaito and Saguru for having a thing going on, so can Shinichi and Heiji. 8D;

Thank you for all the heart-warming reviews, guys! I'm really surprised by all the positive feedback you give me!


	9. When in doubt, blame it on the full moon

**Nayru's Note:** This chapter is… a weird intermission chapter that came out of nowhere (I kid you not, I have no idea what happened, the ideas just popped out, like, _today_.) I decided to damn everything to hell and post it, figuring it's… good for the plot. And stuff. Yes. Let us stick to that.

I guess it has a bit more angst than the others, since a bunch of serious issues are being addressed. But I tried my best to patch everything up with some crack, too. Hopefully that helped.

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 09: When in doubt, blame it on the full moon<strong>

* * *

><p>"The time the body's been found…" Hakuba spoke up while hunching down next to the already lowered corpse, checking the dead person's pulse. … Or rather lack thereof. "Four-thirty-two, twelve seconds, and forty six milliseconds."<p>

"Yer aware that da moment you finish sayin' that, the time is already different, right?" Heiji threw him a 'how much of an idiot are you?' kind of look. "Nobody cares about seconds, let alone milliseconds, dude!"

"Nobody asked for your opinion, Hattori."

"What currently matters here more is figuring out the time of death," Shinichi butted in, already touching the corpse in all kinds of places while on the lookout for clues. "Rigor mortis hasn't kicked in yet."

"Kuroba, would you mind calling the police?" Saguru looked up to the thief.

"You know, while I absolutely hate this kind of thing, and I still blame you guys for this happening, just so we're clear," Kaito murmured, though he complied and decided to steal Hakuba's phone while he wasn't watching before lazily dialing the number. "I suppose I can't just make a run for it and leave it to the police, like I usually do, since Tantei-kun and I are possible suspects in your eyes."

That made Hakuba raise an eyebrow.

"Well, aren't we? We both went into the building, while you and Hattori stayed behind on the sports field, and…"

"Kuroba, did you kill this man?" Saguru stared at him, not even meaning the question.

"Of course I didn't. But isn't that what all culprits say?"

"You wouldn't be able to hurt a fly, so how am I supposed to suspect you of murdering someone you probably didn't even know?" The London detective sounded anything but impressed. "And I have reasons to believe that Kudo-kun would have a hard time hanging someone so high up in his current predicament. Especially during the short time he was gone."

"See, that's because you're biased. With my knowledge, I could definitely see the possibility— Ah, Inspector Megure? This is Hakuba Saguru speaking."

The half-British teen wasn't sure if Kaito was really serious or was simply trying to troll him (the latter seemed more probable), but the moment the thief started talking with the police in his own voice, he felt the sudden urge to punch him. "Hey— when did you get my phone?"

Once Kuroba was done with the report, he threw the white-colored piece of plastic back to him with a smirk. "They're on their way."

"I hate you sometimes…" Hakuba muttered under his nose, taking a look at his phone before intending to put it away, and… Of course, the background of doom featuring Kaitou Kid with kisses and hearts needed to be back in place again. Saguru felt like killing someone the second time that day.

"Hey, Hakuba, we're going to solve this case without ya~"

The blond teen stared daggers at the magician for another few seconds flat before deciding to damn it all to hell, slip his phone back into his pocket and go back to the investigation. Kaito simply waved him off.

It was kind of amusing to see three detectives work around a corpse and interrogate possible suspects when each one of them tried their best to prove their deductions were better than the rest, even if, technically, it was in their best interest to work together.

Kuroba decided to watch the whole thing from afar rather than get involved, especially when Megure and his men made their appearance. He might not have been a murderer, but Kid was still labeled a criminal, and staying around the police always made him feel a little on edge, even if he always tried his best to hide it.

Time passed, and it managed to get dark in the meantime.

"Hey guys… I know you are the experts in this, but…" Kaito spoke up, finally deciding to throw in his five cents, when the detectives seemed stuck in their trail for a longer while. "Did it ever occur to you that it might be _exactly_ what it looks like? A suicide?"

Not every murderer out there plotted a crime filled with unusual hints and case scenarios no-one in their right mind would even think about, right?

Eventually, the case was closed, and they were free to go home.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Shinichi…" The girl's voice on the other end of the line had a hint of sadness to it. "When are you coming back?"<p>

It wasn't the first time she asked, and it wouldn't be the last. He couldn't really blame her for it. "… I don't know yet, Ran. This case—"

"This case has been taking you over a year by now," Ran cut him off, both anger and frustration in her tone raising. "You took it up shortly before Valentine's, last year… and now it's June. What kind of case is this, Shinichi? Those never took you so long to solve. And you can't even tell me what you're involved in…"

The boy stared at the window in front of him, watching his own, shrunken reflection, and at a loss what to tell her.

"Are you even still in Japan?"

"Of course I'm in Japan," he assured. "I've told you, my parents called our school and told the principal I'm transferring to America so that things wouldn't get more complicated. I know how that sounds, but I'm really too busy to attend school right now."

_Or more like I'm_ unable _to attend it in my current state…_ But he couldn't tell her that.

There was a lengthy pause after that, and Shinichi wondered if it was about time to tell her he needed to go and end the conversation, before Ran started asking things he wouldn't be able to answer. And yet… Something kept him.

"Sorry for being suspicious… But the last time I saw you, it was in London."

"Yeah… I'm still sorry about that." He could reassure her and tell her he was there because of a case… But he'd be lying to her again. They've already talked about this, so Shinichi hoped she wouldn't ask him about it anymore.

"Say, Shinichi…" Ran started, hesitant. "I wanted to give you a reply to what you said to me back then… But I don't want to do it over the phone." He knew very well what she was talking about, and he knew that she knew he knew. "So if we ever see each other again, whenever that might be… You'll get it."

How ironic was is that they'd see each other in person probably even today again, and Ran won't be aware of it? It was times like these that gave Shinichi the biggest amount of doubts about any of what he was doing. If only… If only he had told her the truth on that first night of his change, things would be so much less complicated. And now, the more time had passed, and the longer the lie was going on, it was harder and harder to say it.

"… Yeah. I'll look forward to it." He gave a small, sad smile, well aware that she couldn't see it.

There was a soft 'hmph' sound at the other end of the line, as if Ran was suddenly throwing a fit about something. "You make it sound like you're convinced it won't be a punch to the face, mister detective."

Well... That was a surprise. The way Ran tried to sound angry despite it being an obvious joke made him chuckle. Keeping the conversation more carefree than serious - like it tended to be whenever they talked - was a nice change, though. "Honestly, with what I put you through lately, I'd deserve it."

"At least you see it." Another pause followed, and Shinichi could hear her sigh. "Hey, where are you right now? Can you see the sky from where you are?"

"Um… Give me a moment." While Conan might have found the request somewhat weird at first, he understood everything the moment he moved to open up the balcony door, taking a step outside. "There's a full moon tonight."

"Pretty, isn't it?"

A fool moon on the night sky and no Kaitou Kid heist taking place. It was somewhat funny how his view on it changed, now that he became friends with the thief and found out about Pandora… Thinking on their conversations back in Kuroba's house also made him remember something else, though.

Something in his resolve stirred.

"Hey, Ran? I…" Shinichi spoke up before he thought properly on what he wanted to say, noticing how his heartbeat sped up at the sole idea.

"Yes?" Ran asked when he didn't continue. "… Shinichi?"

All of a sudden, Shinichi was painfully aware that we was actually… too scared to tell her anything at that point. Putting her in danger (which she already was in, either way) wasn't even the only thing he was worried about in this case scenario anymore. That Ran would worry herself to death with his condition and his 'never-ending' chase after the men in black wasn't even the gist of it, either.

There was so much more to it than that. Starting from things getting really uncomfortable between them, him possibly needing to move out of the agency, to Ran most likely killing him for everything they've been through in the first place. … If she found out that Edogawa Conan and Kudo Shinichi were one and the same person all along, she would end up hating him, wouldn't she?

"Yeah, it's really pretty." The boy tried to smile, hiding his sudden nervousness as much as he could. "Maybe we could watch it together more often, like this…"

Silence fell between them again, wrecking his nerves only more. God, he was so bad at this kind of stuff sometimes... What was he thinking, anyway? The boy tried to get a hold of himself, hoping that Ran wouldn't catch on how his brain was currently panicking on him.

"… You're in some kind of trouble, aren't you?" Shinichi expected a lot of things. Ran asking him that in a soft, sad voice wasn't one of them. "I've been wondering about it since a while now… You did mention that the case you got involved with was dangerous. But it's something really, really bad, isn't it?" Her voice was hesitant as she went on. "Could it be that you can't come back, not because you don't want to, but… because you're actually unable to?"

Shinichi opened his mouth, wanting to say something… but nothing came out.

"It's true, isn't it? That's why you can't tell me anything…"

Crap. This isn't where he wanted for this conversation to go. Conan swallowed, trying to find his voice. But… Was he supposed to lie to her again? "… I don't want you to worry about me, Ran."

"Well, I'm _already worrying!_" She suddenly yelled, and the small detective had to move away from the speaker, trying not to freak out. "So what difference does it make? The less I know what you're up to, or where you are, the more my imagination starts to run wild! I'm so scared that you'll eventually stop calling at all… I just feel… like you're so far away lately…"

"Ran…" First she yelled at him, and then she sounded like she was about to start crying. Great. He needed to calm her down. Careful approach, careful approach… "Sometimes… I'm closer to you than you may think."

"… What is that supposed to mean?"

Crap, that's not what he wanted to say! "In spirit, I mean! What I meant was—"

"_Kudo Shinichi_, have you been spying me?"

Well, at least she didn't sound like she wanted to cry anymore… "S-Stupid! Why would I do something like that?"

"Don't tell me Hattori was right! I swear, if I see you outside of the agency, like last time… Oh, wait, I keep forgetting that wasn't you."

"You keep forgetting…" He needed to keep it cool. Mixing crucial facts he wasn't supposed to be aware of was just bound to dig him deep. "Wait, what, who wasn't me? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing," Ran huffed, not even trying to hide her annoyance. "Just so you know, I have another admirer hovering around my door. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind and take him up on his offer, since you're never around…"

"Offer…? What…" Shinichi frowned, feeling totally lost, cogs in his mind turning. "Don't tell me Kid— I mean— T-That little kid, um, what was his name again…"

"Shinichi." Ran's voice was suddenly firm and promising _murder_. "How do you know I was taking about Kid?"

"I didn't have Kid, _Kid_ in mind!" God, where was this conversation even going anymore? He wanted to hang up so bad… "Wait, did you just say he was… flirting with you?"

"What if he was?"

"But that's impossible."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Because…" Shinichi trailed off, suddenly unsure of anything anymore.

"Because what?" Ran demanded an answer. "Because he wouldn't do that to you? Are you friends with him, Shinichi? He told me you've met a couple of times before, you know… I knew there was something suspicious behind the whole thing, because he knew about things he shouldn't know about us, and I thought…"

Hey, hey… What was happening here? Was there something he wasn't aware of? Conan's eyes widened, only more confusion setting in. "Ran, did Kid do anything to you?"

He could hear a half-hearted chuckle from her, her voice turning less strained all of a sudden. "Sorry, I got a little carried away," she assured. "No, he didn't do anything… He just dressed up as you once, and I misunderstood something, and things got a little weird…"

That made Conan frown. Hard.

"But nothing happened, don't worry. I just…" He heard her sigh. "I just miss you."

Shinichi closed his eyes, his confusion giving way to helplessness and all kinds of second thoughts again. "… I miss you too, Ran."

He honestly didn't expect her to chuckle the next moment. "Did I make you jealous?"

Oh, for the love of… "You kind of did, yeah."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Haibara…" Conan approached the small girl in the basement, watching her type something up on the computer screen. He figured he might as well let the bomb drop. "If the Organization ever found out the truth about us… They wouldn't really stop to ask who else knows about them from us, would they?"<p>

Needless to say, that made her stop whatever it was she was doing, making her turn in Shinichi's direction with a raised eyebrow and a skeptic kind of look on her face.

"What's this? Are you getting cold feet and second thoughts again? Don't tell me you're suddenly planning to tell her." Haibara frowned, crossing her hands before herself. "We've talked about this countless times before, Kudo-kun. I swear your new friends have some bad influence on you."

"I know, but—" Wait, stop. How did Haibara… "Wait, what are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. I may not be a detective, but I'm not blind. There's been some weird activity going on in front of your house lately." Weird activity? … Did she mean Okiya and him dragging a wounded Kid to the house? … And crap, he almost forgot that Hakuba dropped him off and then picked him up with his own car once, later on. Did she see all of that? "Where have you been disappearing to as of late, hmm? I have good reasons to believe you weren't staying over at Mouri's all the time."

Just trust Haibara to catch on on the most subtle of things... For not being a detective, she definitely was too observant for her own good, sometimes. To be honest, it was one of her qualities that kind of scared him. "… And what reasons might those be?"

Ai's eyebrow rose up again, and she gave him the most skeptic and unimpressed look ever, apparently not even intending to dignify that with an answer. When realization hit him, it made his blood run cold.

"Wait, the spare pair of glasses…" He thought he managed to snatch and hide those away from her for good! Was Agasa involved in this again? "Please tell me you didn't track me…"

"Don't worry, I didn't pin-point your exact location. I only know you were somewhere in Ekoda."

That managed to calm Shinichi down somewhat, though he was far from stopping to panic just yet. "Can I take your word for that? Haibara, this is something… very important, and I can't let anyone know where I was, because that would cause all kinds of trouble."

"For you or for your dear thief?"

Shinichi's blood couldn't possibly run more cold anymore. He just stared at her, wide-eyed, not sure what to say.

"Honestly… The look on your face brings back memories of the time I told you the truth about myself," Ai mused, the tone of her voice calm as ever, albeit with a hint of amusement this time. "Calm down, Kudo-kun. I don't know what's going on between you two, but that person saved my life once, too, remember? I won't do anything to endanger him."

She couldn't have lied about that, at least… Which was somewhat reassuring. But, _dammit_, he really screwed this up, didn't he? He honestly didn't want Haibara finding out about this.

"I can keep your mysterious trips to myself. Just tell me the truth, because your serious reactions got me curious now… Are you really seeing him?"

It took another moment for Shinichi to calm down. He was used to lying, and he had lied to Ai countless times before, but he didn't think he could fool her when she knew as much anymore. "… Yeah. Things got a little complicated," he admitted, a little reluctantly. "And it might sound weird, but… I think we got ourselves a new ally."

That made Haibara frown. "Wait. You didn't tell him the truth, did you?"

"About myself? He found out about it on his own, ages ago." There was no use lying about that one, either. "I haven't mentioned a word about you being in the same kind of situation, obviously. Although… he might have some kind of idea, after we dragged him into that whole thing on the train."

"_You_ dragged him into the whole thing on the train. And without my knowledge, need I remind you?"

"Okay. That was my bad." Shinichi rolled his eyes. "It still worked out well in the end, though."

"How much did you tell him?"

Shinichi wished he could end the conversation there and then and just run back upstairs without having to answer that. He decided to try a more… humorous kind of approach, and hoped that Haibara wouldn't turn furious in a few seconds flat. "Funny thing about that, actually… It turned out that Kid also has some kind of mysterious organization on his tail. We're not sure if those guys are in any way related to the ones we're after yet, but…"

"What? Are you serious?" Well, she gave him a suspicious look, but she didn't seem mad at him, so it was good. "Any code-names?"

"Snake. And Spider." The boy pointed out. "The two I'm aware of, at least."

"They're not alcohol-related." Which was, of course, an excellent observation.

"They're not. But they also dress in black and carry guns around."

"Syndicates usually do."

"Yeah, rub it in my face." Shinichi gave her an annoyed look, since they weren't getting anywhere with this. "So you haven't heard of them?"

"I haven't."

"Okay." So much for that. Oh well, it didn't hurt to ask. "Next stop: does the word 'Pandora' mean anything to you?"

* * *

><p>"Kuroba… You like Aoko-kun, don't you?"<p>

Kaito turned to look at his blond classmate, trying to figure out where the bloody hell _that_ came from. Hakuba was supposed to concentrate on fixing his bandages, not on stupid questions that made him feel confused. "… What's this about?"

Saguru didn't even look at him, as if he was trying to keep the whole thing as casual as he could. "I've been simply wondering… Why won't you tell her?"

"Are you stupid? I can't do that." The magician raised his voice, sounding as if it was obvious. "Not until I stuff Kaitou Kid back into the closet. I mean, if the guys targeting me would catch on her being of some significance to me, they'd most likely use it against me, wouldn't they?" It wasn't even a question. "It's enough that I'm putting you guys in possible danger while hanging out with you all the time."

Hakuba's hands stilled at that admission for the shortest of moments. "… I see. I suppose that makes sense."

"Besides… Aoko hates Kid," Kuroba went on, obviously not sounding happy about it. "If I ever got closer to her, it would just be more difficult to play the whole game... And I really don't need her finding out."

"So if you could help it, you'd never tell her?" Came the conclusion from the London detective. "You think she'd take it that badly?"

"I don't know… She'd probably end up hating me, too. I mean, she has every reason to… Both for lying to her and making a fool out of her dad all the time…" Kaito trailed off, getting lost in his own thoughts all of a sudden. "Why are you asking me all of this, though?" Serious talk aside, there was no harm in turning the tables a bit. The magician let himself smirk, teasing mode on. "Are you interested?"

"Don't be an idiot." Hakuba snapped a finger into his classmate's forehead, making the other wince in pain. "I simply figured… You don't have a lot of people you can talk to about any of this, do you?" The detective coughed into his fist, trying not to sound too awkward. "I might not be the best person for…"

Kuroba couldn't help himself and started laughing, derailing the blond completely.

"… Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's just somewhat amusing…" Kuroba felt a little bad for reacting like that, but the expression on Saguru's face was just too precious to ignore. "For someone who has armies of girls squealing around you all the time, it's actually surprising that you're so… socially awkward when things get a little more personal." The thief commented, unable to fide his amusement. "You're even worse at this whole 'friend' thing than I am."

Derailment complete.

Hakuba looked embarrassed as hell.

"… Sorry for trying." And with that, he half-British teen was up on his feet, clearly intending to just damn it all to hell and _leave_.

"Wait, come back! I didn't mean it like that!" Kaito yelled, swiftly catching the other by the sleeves and stopping him in his attempts at getting away. "I… I'm actually the same in that regard, so I'm really not one to talk." For making fun of him, the magician figured he could be a little honest.

It was no surprise when Saguru raised an eyebrow and looked at him with obvious disbelief. "You, Kuroba? Socially awkward?"

"Is that hard to believe?" The thief gave him an apologetic kind of smile. "I might act like I like being in the center of attention all the time, but… when things start getting personal, I backpedal quite fast myself." And with that, he averted his gaze, his smile fading. "It's… something I started doing after I lost my father. Without even realizing it at first."

It took a moment to process. "So basically… You're scared of getting close to anyone." Hakuba blinked, clearly surprised by the information. "… So that they wouldn't be able to hurt you in the same kind of way anymore."

Kaito grimaced at the words, not bothering to hard his displease. "I don't like the way you put that, but… Something like that, I guess."

"Ah, I didn't mean to offend you... Sorry."

"No harm done." Kuroba changed the tone of his voice, wanting to sound more carefree. And to amplify it all, he lightly punched his classmate in the shoulder. "Stop being so formal, it's making me uncomfortable."

Hakuba didn't seem very convinced. "Does it… bother you that I started coming over so often?"

The magician blinked, not really expecting such a question. But fine, he could be honest with this one, too. "No." It was firm, and he sounded like he meant it. "I don't know why, but it's… different, with you three. I feel comfortable with you guys around."

He could see the detective relax at those words. "Well, then… I'm glad to hear that."

"Just don't let that get to your head!" Kaito yelled, because the smile that idiot gave him was making him feel embarrassed all of a sudden, too. "God, Hakuba, I didn't know you could be such a sap."

He punched him again, for good measure. When Saguru laughed, he felt like dying on the inside.

"That's enough heart-to-heart for one day." The magician concluded, already on his way to the kitchen. He felt himself blushing despite himself, and he definitely didn't need anyone seeing that - _definitely_ not some stupid detectives, of all people. "Now shut up and make me some tea."

* * *

><p>[Question.<br>Answer truthfully, or I'm going to kick your ass.]

Kaito blinked at the message he got from Shinichi, not sure what to make of it. Was it supposed to be serious or playful? Hmm… Trying not to dwell on the suspense, he quickly typed a response.

[Now I'm scared…  
>Should I be scared?]<p>

It didn't even take half of a minute before the next message came.

[Depends on your answer.]

Well, that was… vague enough. Kuroba blinked, still not sure what to make of that. Carefully, he went for it.

['Kay… What's the question?]

Another ten seconds was all he needed to wait.

[Have you been flirting with Ran?]

The thief's insides dropped, giving way to a nasty feeling of dread in his stomach, as he kept staring at his phone's screen. That probably meant that… Ran told Shinichi something. That probably meant that he was about to be a dead man.

Heaven save him.

He almost had a heart attack then his phone suddenly vibrated in his hand again.

[Silence is working to your disadvantage right now.  
>Just saying.]<p>

Kaito buried his face in his pillow, then mashed into it a few times in quiet agony, before shaky fingers started working on a reply.

[（；_・）  
>Before you kick my ass, I can explain.]<p>

That's when his phone rang.

Shinichi was calling him in the middle of the night and Kid felt as if the world was about to end.

He kind of hoped he didn't look as terrified as he felt being. He also felt like sneaking under Hakuba's bed covers and never leaving from under them again. Kind of. The blond was asleep, and he probably wouldn't even notice…

Kuroba hung his head in defeat, pressing the thing he was holding to his ear and _answering the damn phone_.

"… Hi."

"You have thirty seconds."

The thief gulped, bracing himself for the sweetest ride of his life.

—_t.b.c._

* * *

><p><strong>Nayru's Note:<strong> If you're wondering where this fic is even heading anymore, let me tell you: I have no idea myself anymore. I'll just sit here, keep writing, and see where it takes us. Hopefully it won't be Mars.

Next chapter, the start of the birthday party! Finally. Hopefully. … As long as my brain doesn't end up taking unexpected detours again.


	10. Birthday party gone wrong

**Nayru's Note:** Considering the timeline in DC just DOESN'T WORK (Valentine's happened twice, it snowed like 7 times by now, and supposedly not even a year had passed since Shinichi turned into Conan? I don't even), I figured I can manipulate something into my liking regarding the Gosho Boys' ages. You'll see what I mean when you get there.

Out of the four, only Heiji's birthday is unknown, though it's assumed to be somewhere in June/August. I just picked a day and rolled with it.

Also (not to get anyone's hopes up or down, but) I decided to change the rating of the story to Mature. I'd say "because of reasons" but it's mostly so that I can stay on the safe side and not limit myself when it comes to future ideas. … Especially when 'sex toys' are starting to get involved. *snorts*

* * *

><p><strong>~4 Idiots In A Closet~<strong>  
><strong>Chapter 10: Birthday party gone wrong<strong>

* * *

><p>Heiji eagerly rang the doorbell.<p>

When Kaito finally made it downstairs and opened the door before them, he greeted both Conan and the dark-skinned detective with some confetti and a smile, although Hattori could swear there was… something off with it.

"Greetings to da birthday boy!" He cheered, trying to ignore his thoughts, although his doubts only intensified when he took a step inside. The thief started to discreetly move along and hide behind him like he was supposed to be some kind of shield.

That was when he also noticed Shinichi's judging stare.

"… I'm clearly missing somethin' here."

"Don't let him kill me," Kaito pleaded, giving the impression of not willing to let go of his shoulder anytime soon. Heiji blinked and checked again, only to see that the small detective's gaze didn't waver even the slightest bit.

"Should I ask?"

"No, just don't let him kill me," Kuroba repeated, fake smile back in place. "And keep in mind that if you _do_ find me stabbed somewhere in the closet, it's going to be his work."

"You honestly think I'd let anyone _find_ the body?" Conan finally spoke up with a morbid kind of smirk on his lips. The magician gulped.

"Yuuup. I'm clearly missing somethin' here," Hattori muttered, more to himself than to the two people he was currently in-between of. "No idea what ya did, Kuroba, but it takes quite a bit ta get Kudo goin' like that."

Kaito did explain everything regarding the whole ordeal with Kid and Ran as best as he could. He swore he did. That clearly didn't mean he was going to be forgiven easily, though.

Well, he kind of deserved it. He played with fire that wasn't meant to be toyed around with, after all. His mistake. But, hey… Shinichi was just messing with him, right? He wouldn't really do anything bad to him, right?

… Right?

"Truce for tonight?" Kuroba offered, giving Tantei-kun the most apologetic smile he could muster.

"So, you want to postpone the inevitable and make me kick your ass later," Conan concluded in an unwavering voice, giving the impression that it would take a lot more than that to change his mind on the matter. "Be thankful that it's your birthday today."

* * *

><p>"Kaito? Aoko knew that you had a way with kids, but you never told me you were actual friends with one," the fuzzy-haired girl commented, resting her hands on her knees and lowering herself to get a better look at the small boy before her. "Hey, there. What's your name?"<p>

Shinichi took a careful step back and just watched her in wary confusion, at first. All too amused that everything was going according to his visions so far, Kaito just grinned, eager to enjoy the show.

"Ah… Conan. I'm Edogawa Conan."

"Aww, he's so cute!" Aoko chirped in delight, and Kuroba couldn't help but snort at Shinichi's sudden, horrified expression. "I'm Nakamori Aoko. It's so nice to meet you, Conan-kun!"

"Nakamori…?" The small detective blinked, derailed completely. That's when Kaito finally decided to join in and squat next to him.

"She's Inspector Nakamori's daughter. And my childhood friend," Kid explained with both amusement and a weird hint of pride in his voice. "I knew you'd be surprised."

"But… She looks exactly like…" Shinichi scrambled for words, trying to get a hold of himself. "Well, not exactly like her, but…"

"The resemblance is striking, isn't it?" Kaito chuckled, well aware what the other meant.

Aoko blinked at them with her big eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"This kid here has a nee-chan that looks just like you," the magician quickly explained. "You'd be surprised. I found it unbelievable at first, too."

"Oh, really?" If anything, Nakamori seemed intrigued by that remark. "Well, I hope I can meet her someday, as well. I don't know what kind of person she is, but… Aoko wouldn't mind being your nee-chan for today, Conan-kun."

Shinichi went silent and blushed, obviously not knowing what the hell was going on, nor what he just got himself into anymore.

"If there's anything you need, just come to me and say so, alright?" The girl added in a cheerful, kind voice.

Hesitantly, the small detective nodded, watching her smile at him.

"Well, you're in good hands." Kuroba gave Tantei-kun a sly look, as if wanting to imply something. "Just enjoy the ride."

If he wasn't feeling so out of it, he'd probably kick him for that. "… You planned all of this, didn't you."

Kaito looked to the side, trying to fake innocence. And then, the moment Conan heard the door bell ringing again, Kid was already gone.

"Wow, ya really look like this brat's nee-chan, though," the Osakan detective came to join in on the fun. "I'm Hattori Heiji, nice ta meech'ya."

"Nakamori Aoko. The pleasure's mine," the girl giggled. "You have a funny accent."

Needless to say, that earned her an evil look from the dark-skinned teen.

"Ah, I didn't mean that in a bad way! It's just… something Aoko hasn't heard before," the girl quickly added, flailing her hands before her in apology. "I take it you're not from around here?"

"Okay, chill." Hattori let it slide. "Yeah. I'm from Osaka."

"Oh! That's pretty far away. And you came all the way here, especially for Kaito's birthday party?" Nakamori seemed intrigued by that information.

"Actually, I mainly came to visit Ku—_this brat here_, who lives over at Beika," Heiji explained, jumping away from Conan, who barely missed kicking him in the leg. "But I timed my visit so dat we'd be able ta come."

"I see. Aoko is just surprised, because Kaito's never even mentioned anything about having friends from outside of Ekoda before. And I talk to him practically every day," she informed. "How did you guys meet?"

"Uh, we met…"

Heiji started, immediately trailing off, when he realized that he couldn't actually tell her how they _really_ met. And why wasn't an 'official' version established by all three of them for such case scenarios yet? For fuck's sake!

"W-We met because of a case, didn't we?"

Hattori looked at Conan for confirmation, who looked just as terrified as he did. "T-that's right! Heiji-niichan is a great detective!" Shinichi clearly figured his pride was less important than them blowing both their and Kaitou Kid's cover.

"Right, right! Conan-kun wants ta be a detective when he grows up, so I agreed ta teach him da basics 'n stuff. That's why we hang out together a lot," the Osakan explained, trying to sound as believable as he could. "And during one of da cases, we stumbled upon Kuroba-kun, and he helped us catch da culprit."

"And then you guys invited me over for some coffee, as thanks." Kaito suddenly appeared next to them again, adding his two cents. "It was the start of a beautiful friendship."

"You never told me about that, BaKaito!" Aoko yelled, clearly displeased about being left out of the loop.

"I didn't?" The magician faked being surprised. "Sorry, it must have slipped my mind somehow."

"So, you say you met during a case." Another girl's voice interrupted their conversation, and before Shinichi and Heiji knew it, there was someone else standing next to them, too. "And you two are detectives."

"Hattori, Tantei-kun, this here is Koizumi Akako, also one of my classmates," Kuroba introduced them, though he didn't sound happy about doing it in the least. "Akako, this is Hattori Heiji and Edogawa Conan. I hope you can _play nice_ and get along well."

There was definitely something odd about the way Kuroba said those last words. However, at that moment, Shinichi was more worried about the fact how the newly appeared girl suddenly started to stare at him, as if intrigued by something he wasn't aware of.

… Was there something on his face?

"Edogawa Conan-kun… right? May I see your hand?"

Akako hunched down next to him, catching him by the limb before he could even say anything. And then she started to observe his palm intently. Shinichi had no idea what the point of that possibly was, but...

"… You're no ordinary boy, are you?"

He barely blinked when Kaito suddenly yanked his hand away from the girl's grip.

"Stop that," The magician demanded, giving the girl a worryingly serious look. "You didn't come here to pester my friends, did you?"

Shinichi honestly wasn't sure what was going on, but the intensity of the way the two ended up staring at one another all of a sudden made him a little uneasy.

Eventually, Akako smiled and closed her eyes, as if deciding to let it go. "Friends, hmm? You really intrigue me, Kuroba-kun."

With a wave of a hand, Koizumi turned around and walked away, possibly wanting to give Heiji a 'proper greeting,' too.

"… Should I be worried?" The small detective asked, feeling Kaito relax and finally letting him go.

"She's weird like that. Just ignore her."

"And you told me _I_ had weird friends."

That's when the door bell rang one more time, with the last invited guest making it to the scene. Kaito teased Saguru that it was unusual for him to be late.

* * *

><p>The magician didn't expect to get any kind of gifts from anyone, to be honest, let alone so many.<p>

Aoko and Hakuba decided to join forces and ended up baking a huge - very huge - chocolate cake for him, which was neatly decorated with all kinds of colorful pearls, stars and flowers made out of sugar. Just looking at it was enough to give one cavities. All of them would have been able to stuff themselves till oblivion with it, and a big portion would probably still remain.

Not that Kaito was complaining. Cake form or not, chocolate was chocolate, and chocolate was always great in his book. None of it was bound to go to waste.

He got a mug showing the words 'Do you believe in magic?' from Shinichi. Considering how much tea and coffee they drank together lately, the gift couldn't have been more spot-on. The thief was informed that there was a trick to it that he needed to figure out for himself, and while he inspected the thing, he also found a small bonus inside. Which turned out to be… an SD Card.

Kuroba had no idea what was on it, and as curious as he was, Conan insisted that he check it out in private, later on. Which, naturally, made him only more curious - but he put it away, holding on to the thought.

Heiji gave him… a pair of fluffy, pink handcuffs. Along with an elbow nudge and a suggestion that he should use them "with a partner of his choice" and have fun. Not sure whether to be mortified or to simply laugh, Kaito wasn't one to be easily offended by obvious implications, though (well, the bloody thing was practically a kinky sex toy, and he kind of did jokingly accuse Hakuba of having a handcuff fetish in front of them just a little while ago.) Hattori got some plus points in his eyes - for boldness, creativity and a great sense of humor.

The dark-skinned detective spent the next hour of his life cuffed to the radiator in the kitchen, with his yells and apologies left completely ignored.

From Akako (oh boy), Kaito got some kind of… weird contraption made out of threads, beads and colorful feathers. Needles to say, he was reluctant to even touch it, at first. The thing was probably cursed and out to steal his soul or something. Koizumi reassured that it was completely safe (he didn't believe her) and explained that it was a 'handmade dream catcher' - something to hang on the wall in order to 'keep bad dreams away.'

Kuroba wondered if keeping it inside of the house alone wouldn't give him only more nightmares.

It also turned out that the cake wasn't the only surprise Hakuba and Aoko had prepared for him.

The magician honestly didn't expect to get a bottle of Adderall as an obvious joke from his blond classmate. He was so proud, though. Saguru's sense of humor was becoming as messed up as their was. It only showed that hanging out with them managed to corrupt him in the best possible way.

It made Kuroba wonder how Hakuba managed to get his hands on something like this in the first place, though. Weren't drugs meant for people with ADHD unavailable without a doctor's prescription? … Not to mention that they were illegal both in Japan and in the United Kingdom, as far as he was aware of. Could it have been that Saguru went out of his way to break the law just for him?

The thought made him smile in a very mischievous way.

* * *

><p>The last gift Kaito worked on unwrapping happened to be from Aoko. And while he wondered what could have been fairly big and squishy to the touch, he got rid of the blue ribbon tied around it, and carelessly proceeded to unwrap the paper—<p>

Nobody - well, nobody beside Aoko - expected the sudden, _girly_ scream echoing throughout the house, with Kuroba jumping to the ceiling and_staying there_ with a horrified expression on his face.

"Aoko, _you traitor!_" Kid yelled in utter panic, pointing an accusing finger at the mentioned girl.

Nakamori jumped in apparent joy, lifting a fist into the air. "Score~!"

Conan, Heiji, Hakuba and Akako started at the whole scene unraveling before them in shock and confusion. Intrigued what could have triggered such a reaction from their crazy thief, Hakuba moved to pick up the gift that was brutally left abandoned on the floor. And with a couple of swift tugs, the paper was eventually gone, revealing a… pillow.

A pillow which seemed to be hand-made and happened to be in the shape of a fish.

"What…"

Before Saguru could even begin to comprehend where the problem was, Aoko snatched the fluffy item away from him, clearly intending to throw it up into the air, straight into Kaito's face.

"N-No, _stop!_ Get that thing away from me!" Kuroba screamed in horror, barely managing to dodge the thing by jumping down and making a run for it.

"Tee-he~ This is what you get for harassing Aoko all year long!" Nakamori seemed to be delighted with her childhood friend's reactions, as she picked up the 'fish' and went right after him.

Eventually, they two ended up downstairs, and the rest could only hear something breaking and smashing to pieces as they tried to comprehend what the hell was happening.

* * *

><p>"… You're afraid of fish."<p>

"I'm afraid of fish," Kuroba confirmed Shinichi's assumption with no amusement whatsoever. If anything, he was being grumpy. "Go ahead and laugh."

"But that was… a plushie." There was both disbelief and amusement in Heiji's voice, and _oh,_ Kid's poker face was being tested.

"I hear someone wants to stay friends with the radiator for another hour."

"_Hey!_ Have some mercy here!"

"Now it makes sense," Saguru commented, looking thoughtful about something. Well, at least he wasn't laughing at him. "Aoko-kun told me to watch out with the seafood when I was making tempura for you a while back, and I had no idea why."

"Doesn't make her any less of a traitor." Kuroba deadpanned, unconvinced. And then, he blinked, sudden unease seeping into his features. "Wait… Does that mean there _was_ seafood in it?"

The London detective stared at him in silence, which was probably enough of an answer in itself. "… Does that even make a difference now? You already ate it."

Kaito wanted to cry. "Lie to me. Lie to me, like you've never lied before, _please._"

"Hey, can someone get me something ta drink?" Hattori yelled from the background. "I'm dyin' here!"

* * *

><p>"Well, at least we know da thing is pretty well-made for bein' a toy," The Osakan detective concluded with a smile, massaging his freed wrist and accepting a glass of juice from the magician that finally let him loose. "Yer lovers won't run away from ya dat easily."<p>

Kuroba snorted, wondering if he should try to push that. Heiji was definitely bold. "Are you implying that you're my lover now, Hattori?"

The dark-skinned teen didn't take offense at the remark and simply laughed. "If yer idea of 'fun' consists of cuffing people ta radiator pipes…"

"Awesome," Kid joked, grinning. "Tantei-kun's next on the—_ow!_"

'Tantei-kun' clearly overheard the whole thing without the magician noticing, and now someone had an aching leg to deal with. "Don't you even dare."

"Sorry, Kuroba," Heiji spoke up again, amused to see Kaito jumping on one leg and holding onto his other one. "It seems Kudo doesn't return yer feelings. Maybe ya'll have more luck with someone else."

"Oh, the heartbreak!" The thief remarked in a dramatic voice, ignoring Conan's unimpressed stare. "And here I thought we could have something beautiful."

Kaito eventually stopped with the theater and handed Shinichi a glass of juice, as if nothing. He could tell the small detective was wondering where the hell he even got it from, which only amused him more.

"You guys want some cake?"

* * *

><p>"Okay, so Kuroba's birthday is on da twenty first of June. Mine is on the twenty ninth of July. So dat practically makes me a month younger than ya," Heiji deduced while munching on a piece of cake, occasionally drinking his juice. "What about ya guys?"<p>

"Mine's on the fourth of May," Conan informed, looking at them with half-lidded eyes and a smile on his face. "So that makes me the oldest of you three. The irony."

"Aww, that means we already missed yours!" Kaito seemed disappointed with the information.

"Well, it's not like I could really celebrate it, anyway… Without it being suspicious."

The date belonged to Kudo Shinichi, not Edogawa Conan, after all. He couldn't really tell Ran what his actual birthday was… Which only reminded him that he still needed to come up with one for his smaller appearance, in case it ever needed bringing up, for whatever reason.

"You could always celebrate it with us."

"Next year?" The small detective sounded unimpressed. "Don't make me think about it, because I immediately start to wonder if I'll still be stuck like this by that time, and it makes me depressed."

"Ah, sorry," Kaito apologized. "I didn't mean it like that."

He was happy to see that Shinichi seemed to like the juice he gave him, though.

"What about yers, Hakuba?" Hattori elbowed the London detective in the gut, making him almost spill his drink. Saguru let out an annoyed sound, frowning at him.

"Twenty ninth of August," he admitted, somewhat grumpily.

"Ha! That makes ya the youngest of us all!" The Osakan teen exclaimed as if he just won some kind of lottery.

"Oldest, actually," Hakuba corrected in a calm manner. "I'm already eighteen. I'll be nineteen in two months."

Needless to say, all the boys turned to look at the blond, surprised.

"Wait, what? You mean to say you're actually a year older than we are?" Kaito frowned, puzzled. "How the hell did you get into our class, then?"

There was a moment of silence before realization hit hard.

"Wait, don't tell me… You didn't fail a year, did you? I mean, of all the people, that's something I'd never even suspect you of—"

"Of course not," Saguru cut the thief off, smirking. "I didn't enroll to your class for learning purposes, obviously." The implication behind the words wasn't that hard to figure out. "And to answer your question: I had my ways."

"Wow. Unbelievable." Kuroba didn't even know what to say anymore. "It's times like these that make me wonder who's the sanest person around here."

"Despite everything, it's definitely not you." Hakuba was sure.

"Hey, Hattori, you okay?" Shinichi suddenly asked, wondering about his friend's mental state. The way he kept stabbing his piece of cake with his fork was a little worrying.

"I am far from okay," Heiji whined, finally stuffing his face with the murdered dish. "I'm da only guy around here who hasn't hit eighteen yet!"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Kaito! Look, look!" Aoko yelled, looking like some kind of scarecrow with the way her hands were up in the air. She was balancing a pile of books on her head…<p>

A pile of books that unceremoniously fell down to the floor the moment Kuroba turned to look at her.

"Dummy. You're so bad at this, it hurts."

"Hehe~ Aoko's mistake~" The girl chirped in a goofy way and swayed to the side before hunching down to pick the fallen items from the floor. Somewhat worried for his childhood friend's well-being, Kaito joined in to help her.

"… Is Aoko-kun drunk?" Came the shocking observation from Saguru. "Kuroba, did you add alcohol to our drinks?"

A finger was pressed to the magician's lips as he looked around, wondering if anyone else heard them. "Hush."

"Wait, what? Did ya just say da drinks have been spiked?!" Heiji yelled from a little further away, staring at his drink in horror.

Neither Kaito nor Saguru seemed to notice both Hattori's and Conan's sudden distress.

"Honestly… You're aware what the legal drinking age in Japan is, right?" Hakuba gave Kaito a scolding look, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that the blond was displeased with the issue.

"And? It would have been legal in a lot of other countries by now, so who cares!" Kuroba got closer to his classmate, only to smack him on the shoulder. "Cut yourself some slack! Have some fun! Live a little!"

"You're unbelievable." The half-British teen sighed, deciding to go to the toilet.

"Moron!" Hattori suddenly yelled, getting Kuroba's attention. "Didn't Kudo tell ya 'bout da alcohol thing?"

"… Alcohol thing?" Kaito didn't follow.

Heiji planted a hand into his own face, dragging it downward. "Ya didn't tell him."

"It didn't seem important!" There was a hint of panic in Conan's voice. "Besides, this thing is a gamble; hell if I know how this actually works!"

Kid had no idea what was going on, but… that sounded worryingly serious.

"What kind of alcohol was it?" Hattori turned back to ask him.

"Um… some vodka?"

Shinichi seemed to go even more pale at his words.

"Kudo— _Kudo!_ Don't panic!" Hattori caught his small friend by the shoulder, shaking him violently. To Kaito, it looked like the Osakan detective was panicking more than the person he was yelling at. "Maybe the amount you drank won't do anything…"

"Y-Yeah… and usually, I needed to have a cold for it to even—"

A sudden, pained gasp interrupted Shinichi's words, with his eyes going wide. Then he ended up in a coughing fit. That was Hattori's cue to panic even more.

"Sweet lord, it's happening…"

"W-What's happening?" Kaito tried not to freak out. "What did I do?"

"We need ta get him away from da girls!" The Osakan teen hunched down next to the small boy, who was currently clenching his chest in pain. "Ya got some spare clothes ya could lend him?"

Some cogs turned in Kuroba's head, making his eyes go wide in turn. "Wait, you don't mean—"

"Yes, I mean! Move it, kid, we don't have time!" The dark-skinned detective yelled, before realizing something and stumbling on his own words. "I mean— not _that_ kind of kid! I didn't mean to—"

"—Shut up! And calm down, for heaven's sake!" Kuroba smacked the other on the shoulder, ordering him to get his shit together. They were both losing it. "Can you get him downstairs?"

That was when Hakuba came back from the bathroom and approached them again, looking a little lost. "… What is happening?"

Akako peeked from behind the London detective, clearly intrigued by the whole scene.

Meanwhile, Aoko finished picking up all the books she let fall and placed them back on the shelf, which meant there was nothing there to occupy her alcohol-ridden mind anymore.

"Maybe Conan-kun just needs a hug!" Nakamori cheerfully announced, hopping over to the small boy before Heiji could drag him away.

Before any of them knew what was going on, Shinichi was doomed to the hugs ans squishes of someone who looked like Ran.

Someone who looked like Ran and was very, very drunk.

Fuck.

Quick to act, Kaito ran over to the laptop and speakers, turning up the volume of the song that was currently playing. Elbowing Hakuba on the way back, the magician whispered into his classmate's ear: "Hey, you have a mission. Invite Akako to a dance."

Kuroba dearly hoped he wouldn't regret asking him that, but for now, they didn't have the luxury to be picky. Shinichi's identity was on the line.

So, while Mai Kuraki's 'Dynamite' exploded through the speakers, Kaito swiftly moved over to snatch Aoko away from Conan and ask her for a dance as well, trusting that Heiji would be fine on his own with their shrunk friend for a minute or two.

* * *

><p>"Kuroba-kun is so sneaky, don't you think?"<p>

Koizumi asked with a mischievous smile, letting her hands rest on Saguru's shoulders. The song might not have been a slow one, but that clearly wasn't stopping her from being sensual about the dance.

"Using you just to get my attention like this…" She practically purred, making the half-British teen shiver. "It really makes me wonder what he wants to hide away from me so badly..."

Everyone drank the goddamn juice, which meant that all of them had alcohol in their system, even if the intensity of its influence had to vary from person to person. For once, Kuroba cursed the trap he himself had set up and fallen into along with everyone else.

It was supposed to be funny. And all of it would have been funny, under normal circumstances, he was sure. Not when they had an unexpected situation on their heads, which they needed to deal with very carefully.

"Sorry, Hakuba, but I'd like to borrow your dancing partner for a minute," Kaito suddenly announced, breaking their two classmates apart. "Look after Aoko for me for the time being, will you."

Relieved that Saguru didn't complain, the magician swiftly took his place, catching the witch by the hand and placing his other hand on her hip. His mind might have been a little fuzzy from the alcohol, but he liked to believe that he still knew how to dance properly with ease.

"Oh, my~" Koizumi was hardly complaining, if her satisfied expression was anything to go by. "Now I can ask the person in question directly."

Kaito tried to keep his poker face intact as they began to dance. "How about we talk about what you're trying to pull."

"What _ever_ do you mean, Kuroba-kun?"

"Don't play dumb." The thief pulled her a little closer, so that he could lower his voice and still have Akako hear him just fine. "I can see you're bewitching him with your voodoo spells or whatever."

"Those aren't voodoo spells," Koizumi corrected. "And why do you even care? I'm making your greatest rival pay less attention to you."

The remark made Kaito frown. So she _was_ bewitching Hakuba, and she just admitted it. Before he could say anything back to that, though, it was the girl's turn to lean in closer to him.

"Or are you jealous?"

Whoa, where did that come from?

"I'm not jealous," Kuroba immediately denied, his voice dead serious. "I just don't think you'd make a good pair, especially when Hakuba's under the influence of some kind of spell with you."

Okay, so he was being protective of him. So what. Akako didn't exactly give off the impression of being a good person, and he still didn't trust her. Saguru might have been a jerk with a stick up his ass sometimes, but he was still… a friend. Okay? Okay. Kaito didn't want him getting hurt.

"How do you know he is, though?" Koizumi interrupted his thoughts with that unnerving, superior voice of hers. "Did it occur to you that he might simply like me?"

The magician made her do a swirl while holding her hand up in the air, fitting it into the rhythm of the song.

"I've seen him interact with all kinds of girls before," he informed when they got close to one another again. "He's never been this weird with anyone."

That made the witch smirk again. "Love tends to do that to people."

"You don't even mean that."

"Haven't you ever been in love, Kuroba-kun?"

Well, that was… unexpected. Which probably showed, because for a split moment, Kaito almost stopped moving to the music altogether. And while he could keep his poker face up just fine, it took him a while to come up with some kind of response to that.

"Have _you_?" He figured he might as well fight fire with fire. "Because I doubt it."

To his surprise, Koizumi's expression softened at his words, her smile suddenly losing its twisted mirth.

"You're so cold today..." For once, she sounded genuine. And as she averted her gaze away from him, Kuroba was a little startled to see and feel her resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Cheer up, it's your birthday."

That was when Kaito noticed that the previous song had already ended and a new one was playing. A slow one, this time. So that was probably why…

Letting himself hide behind Kid's mask, the thief didn't push the witch away and decided to continue their dance. Even when his mind was currently more occupied with how Shinichi and Heiji were doing than anything else.

He needed to bail out of this somehow.

"… What do you want me to do? In order for you to stop bewitching Hakuba?"

He might as well be asking 'how do I sell my soul to the devil?' but Kuroba figured he didn't have time for this and went straight to the point of what he came here to talk about with his classmate in the first place.

"Think about it, okay? And, please, don't force him into anything stup—_gha?!_"

Kaito had no idea when it happened, but he had Akako's hand… under his shirt. Which was suddenly tickling his side.

Needles to say, his poker face flew right outside the window. He tried his very best not to laugh. And failed miserably.

"_S-Stop!_"

"My, my, Kuroba-kun~" To the magician's further distress, his classmate's voice was back to her usual again. "I had no idea you were this ticklish~"

"—_Your hands are cold!_"

With an abrupt catch of Koizumi's wrist, they both stilled and started staring at one another in intense silence. … That's when Kaito realized just where exactly that hand of hers was resting, and he had the weird feeling it didn't end up there by simple chance.

He didn't carry the bandages anymore, but a few plasters were still there, and Kuroba was positive that the freshly scarred tissue from his shot wound needed to feel odd to the touch. Judging from Akako's stare, she wasn't even surprised to find it, and clearly knew more than he'd ever feel comfortable with her knowing.

"I'll be right back," the magician announced, pulling away from the crazy witch with a displeased frown. "Don't hex anyone while I'm gone, okay?"

* * *

><p>"Ya sure this is a good idea?"<p>

"Well, what else are we supposed to do with him? Get him back to the agency? Leave him locked inside of the closet and wait for him to change back? It's going to be fine, trust me."

The two boys took part in a heated debate, though they tried to keep their voices down as they dragged their 'newly appeared' friend upstairs.

"I can hear you, you know," Shinichi murmured, so horribly unamused. "God, get me some water, my head is killing me… And some of that vodka of yours, too, while we're at it." He coughed, trying to get the raspy edge out of his voice. "I didn't get much of a chance to experiment with it last time, but now that it's already happened again, who knows… maybe I won't change back as long as there's enough alcohol lingering in my body."

"That's kind of scary, man." Kaito spoke up, sounding concerned. "Having the choice to be eternally drunk in your own body, or being sober in the body of a child." It would have been funny if the whole situation wasn't so serious. "I don't know what's worse."

"Kudo, I know it was my fault that ya started with da drinking. Even if I was only trying ta help." Heiji almost sounded guilty. Almost. "But don't ya turn into an alcoholic on us. That kinda path never leads to anythin' good."

"Yeah, giving half of a glass filled with booze to a seven-year-old could have been only paved with good intentions." Sarcasm? Shinichi had it. "It honestly makes me wonder what the hell you were thinking back then."

"I heard it was good for colds! Ya had a cold!"

"_Seven years old_, Hattori." Kudo repeated, standing by his point.

"You guys are the best." Kuroba wasn't sure what the actual circumstances of the stuff they just brought up were, but all of that definitely sounded like an amusing story. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Reading books, solving crimes and chasing phantom thieves." Shinichi gave in and answered the rhetorical question with a bit of dry amusement of his own. "To makes things funnier, that's actually how Hattori and I met."

"I want to hear that story later on. _All of it_."

They were finally at the top of the stairs, though, and while entering the adjoined living room and kitchen, they had Aoko, Akako and Hakuba to interact with again. Hakuba, who… was currently dancing with both Nakamori and Koizumi. At the same time. And doing half-bad of a job while at it.

Kaito wondered if he didn't give someone enough credit.

Once the London detective noticed them coming back, he excused himself from the ladies and went to turn down the volume of the music. The girls eventually stopped dancing and turned in their direction.

"So, um…" Kaito finally started, feeling everyone's gazes on himself. "Guys, this is one of my friends, who I thought wouldn't be able to make it to the party… but what do you know!"

With a wave of his hand, he gestured to the person that was standing behind him, and took a step to the side in order to reveal him properly.

Their new guest seemed somewhat exhausted, with slight bags under his eyes and sweat rolling down the side of his face, but he made an effort to stands still and act like he was fine. It was a grown, teenage boy, which looked strikingly similar to the magician himself.

"I'm Kudo Shinichi…" The detective spoke up, forcing a smile. "It's… nice to meet you."

—_t.b.c._

* * *

><p><strong>Nayru's Note:<strong> Wow, this chapter turned out weird. Oh, well.

Google 'fish pillow,' look at the image section and laugh together with me. Come on, you know you want to! xD

A ton of thanks to Sin-Shira for exchanging thoughts and helping me out with birthday gift ideas! (The gifts are going to have some plot twists that will be revealed in one of the future chapters, khe khe khe.)


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